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posted by vanillaicecream
So let's say you're talking to your フレンズ and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, あなた manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered によって underpants; spinning around to apologize, あなた instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon あなた realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to あなた または
b.) a Tuesday?

Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward あなた are.

Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if あなた are still covered in wedding cake. All あなた need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to あなた in the past month.


•You start to tell a joke ("So this アヒル, 鴨 walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")

•Impossibly, someone あなた have a crush on sits down to say hello to あなた at lunch. あなた have just crammed an entire カップケーキ in your mouth.

•Walking down the street, あなた gradually become aware that あなた have no idea how to スイング your arms.

•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.

•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. あなた panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.

•You spend far too much time on a text または Eメール exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. あなた promptly mis-send it to your mom.

•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.

•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults あなた typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.


•Attempting to be fun, あなた grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses または face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.

•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. あなた respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." 秒 pass. Oh my goodness, あなた think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible 回答 collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")



Tally up your points, one per situation.

0: Impossibly slick. Wow, あなた are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.

1-2: Cool and composed. あなた are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.

3-7: Ordinary. You're no もっと見る または less awkward than the 次 person, assuming the 次 person is not Michael Cera.

8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.

11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. あなた are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.

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