Need aid from all of these disorders I am experiencing

Okay, I am experiencing a lot of mental disorders and illness recently. I can feel my blood pressure is raising frequently. I can see it from my "sudden manner and mindset change." I got drifted によって anger, anxiety, stress, depression and negative self talk and thought. I'm guessing the beginning of these disorders started last few months. Life pressure and mistakes seems become the root of all of these. I'm getting hard on my own way and overpush myself, I can't help with it. My mind seems hypnotize my entire actions. I just can't stop and give myself a break from my activities. And I take my activities too seriously. I can't even allow myself to 愛 myself and being truly grateful to all the achievements and results of my hard works. I'm never satisfied and often criticize myself that I'm not enough. I often 発言しました this to myself from my heart:

"No, I'm not enough and satisfied with my current skills. There are still もっと見る better people than me." This sometimes motivate me, but on the other side, its also pushed me to a deep abyss of anxiety.

"Look at those people, they have succeed catch the world's attention with his/her work. Just how hard should I do to be just like them? I'm a weak fool."

"How much should I fail to be truly succeed? または are my failures are not failure? I can't be successful."

"No one would willing to help me sincerely. They all look me as a weird little coward." Even thought, I got lot of フレンズ would help me, I just feel like most of them won't help me sincerely.

These disorders left a result; I become nocturnal. In other words, I have a sleeping disorder. I don't know how long is this disorder stick to me. This disorder caused me to become less productive and もっと見る anxious. Start making me hating myself. I've read a lot of 記事 to help me with these but it seems pointless, its get worse instead. I'm really looking for anyone that can help. Anywhere and anyone. My mom couldn't help since she is busy all the time...