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Tell an awful joke

 _Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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Dogtier said:
Rick Santorum would make a great president
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posted 1年以上前 
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xD I don't think any of them are good presidents. Romeny looks like a hothead.
UltmateUltima posted 1年以上前
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Yeah, right? To be honest I think Obama is doing a pretty good job as president. Plus, he's cool.
Dogtier posted 1年以上前
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@Dog xDDDDD That's definitely a joke and yea I agree Obama is doing excellent.
BlindBandit92 posted 1年以上前
laura199627 said:
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Text.
Text who?
Text あなた ages to open the door
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posted 1年以上前 
Cupcakes12321 said:
Why did the chicken クロス the road?

To get to the other side!



I don't get that joke...
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posted 1年以上前 
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i dont get it eather LMAO
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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^Ikr.
Cupcakes12321 posted 1年以上前
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It's actually a reference to death as the chicken is "crossing over" to the "other side". At least that's what I heard...
Alex_Fairchild posted 1年以上前
thewanted4life said:
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If あなた have bird flu, あなた need tweetment. If あなた have swine flu, あなた need oink-ment.
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posted 1年以上前 
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FAIL JOKE.
Cupcakes12321 posted 1年以上前
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why did i ask this Question.What an awful joke OMG
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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@cupcake: it is, isnt it? andd yeah tht is an AWFUL jokes
thewanted4life posted 1年以上前
UltmateUltima said:
Seriously, these are some really bad jokes. Dunno why I'm even posting them, other than to say I did. This reminds me of the cheesy stuff we used to pass around back in 2nd grade または something, ahhh... memories. At any rate, these are pretty much the worst jokes I could think of.

Two 魚 were in a tank. One 発言しました to the other, "Do あなた know how to drive this thing?"

Did I ever tell あなた the story about the broken pencil? It had no point.

I was 読書 a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn't put it down.

Q: What's the friendliest school?
A: Hi school.

Q: What's black, white, black, white, and green?
A: Two skunks fighting over a pickle.

Q: What do あなた give a dog with a fever?
A: Mustard. (It's good for hot dogs.)

Q: What do あなた call a ベース vocalist who sings によって himself?
A: So-low.

Q: Where do 本 eat dinner?
A: At the 表, テーブル of contents.

Q: Why were the suspenders arrested?
A: For holding up a pair of pants.

Q: What do あなた get if あなた クロス a cow with a camel?
A: A lumpy milkshake.

Q; What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school?
A: Not only have あなた let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down!

Q: Why was the ほうき late?
A: Because he overswept.

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posted 1年以上前 
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your answer makes wish i never asked this Question.You should get voted as"best answer" this are terrible jokes
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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The dog fever one wasn't bad. They weren't all bad.
Cupcakes12321 posted 1年以上前
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xD
UltmateUltima posted 1年以上前
POPclogger216 said:
I was going to tell あなた one about sodium, but Na.
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posted 1年以上前 
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... hehe ...
zanesaaomgfan posted 1年以上前
girsmurf22 said:
Heres a cheesy one:

What did the ketchup say to the mustard when it ran ahead?


Slow down,let me ketchup!


HOW CLEVER,whoever thought of that one,must have shed blood and sweat from thinking SOOO MUCH.

*Notice my creative use of sarcasm!!! ^₩^*
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posted 1年以上前 
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catch up (i never heard this joke but it's terrible)
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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ikr
girsmurf22 posted 1年以上前
XxKeithHarkinxX said:
Why did the roster クロス the road?

To get to the chicken BD *boom boom tss.*
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posted 1年以上前 
ConnerandTravis said:
Your mom.............. lol JK


Q: Why did the baby bring a ladder to school?
A: He wanted to see what High-school was like.

Q:What state is the smartest?
A: Alabama. It has 4 A's and 1 B
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posted 1年以上前 
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the last one was so dumb that i actually laughed
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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really? wow.
flabaloobalah posted 1年以上前
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^yeah
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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@Gloved Right same here. xDDD
BlindBandit92 posted 1年以上前
flabaloobalah said:
whats the difference between a train and a mean teacher?
one says "choo choo!" and the other one says "SPIT OUT THAT GUM!"

what do あなた call a rabbit that likes to swim with alligators?
dinner.

how many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
only one-but she changes it into a toad!

why was the girl not afraid of the shark?
it was a man eating shark!

what did the doctor say to the tonsil?
"you are so cute, i think i will take あなた out tonight!"

where do rabbits go when they get married?
on their bunnymoon.

how do あなた stop a snake from striking?
pay it decent wages!
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posted 1年以上前 
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lol bunnymoon is cute
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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yeah...i found these jokes in a book i got from a teacher as a present. finally it comes in handy *thanks teacher in head*
flabaloobalah posted 1年以上前
zanesaaomgfan said:
Why did the grandma put roller skates on her rocking chair?

Why?

Because she wanted to ROCK&ROLL !
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posted 1年以上前 
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this is actually not a bad ,awful joke
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
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i kinda like it. ha. *attempts to laugh, but gets too tired*
flabaloobalah posted 1年以上前
sophie89 said:
Are あなた sirius?
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posted 1年以上前 
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Yeah, I'm super Harry.
zanesaaomgfan posted 1年以上前
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^lol. its a joke.
sophie89 posted 1年以上前
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it's true i dont get it actually
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
ShadowYJ said:
This was one very odd joke which I don't get at all:

Why does the pig say oink?
'cause it wants もっと見る food!

^It was made によって a 1st grader-I don't get it at all.


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posted 1年以上前 
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It's a first-grader. What did あなた expect? xD
BlindBandit92 posted 1年以上前
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^Isn't it obvious???
ShadowYJ posted 1年以上前
michlolois said:
my friend DAVID ロスト his ID. we call him DAVE now. get it ,get it. not funny huh
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posted 1年以上前 
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I get it-but its not funny
ShadowYJ posted 1年以上前
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what.______.
Kamie_Kiddo posted 1年以上前
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xD
scalesandtails1 posted 1年以上前
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WOOOOW.
zanesaaomgfan posted 1年以上前
shadow378 said:
Q: knock knock
R:who's there
A: it's the ピザ delivery guy stupid! ^V^
-

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posted 1年以上前 
poophead4837ext said:
Why did the chicken クロス the road? Because he wanted to. *fake laughs*
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posted 1年以上前 
HeitsiTsegin said:
Democratic republic. ._.;
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posted 1年以上前 
Kamie_Kiddo said:
Haha you. Lol, kidding :D
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posted 1年以上前 
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o_O LMAO
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
ukiss129 said: select as best answer
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgrB2KBZws4
posted 1年以上前 
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Its not a joke!
ukiss129 posted 1年以上前
ssook78 said:
why was the クイーン good at mesureing? she is a ruler get it? *shoots my self*
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posted 1年以上前 
awesum-o said:
Wuts the Internets お気に入り animal?
A lynx...Horrible joke
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posted 1年以上前 
scalesandtails1 said:
Q. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?

A. Flood lights!

Q. What do computers do when they get hungry?

A. They eat chips!

Q. Why don't あなた see giraffes in elementary school?

A. Because they're all in High School!

Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?

A. "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!

Q. Which 月 do soldiers hate most?

A. The 月 of March!

Q. What did the painter say to the wall?

A. One もっと見る crack like that and I'll plaster you!

Q. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

A. In case they get a hole in one!

Q. What did the the tie say to the hat?

A. あなた go on a head, I'll just hang around!

Q. What would あなた call two バナナ skins?

A. A pair of slippers

Q. Why did a man put his money in the freezer?

A. BECAUSE HE WANTED SOME COLD-HARD CASH!
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posted 1年以上前 
scalesandtails1 said:
Q. What disappears when あなた stand up?

A. Your lap.

Q. What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?

A. My pop is bigger than yours.

Q. What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?

A. あなた are too little to smoke.

Q. What do あなた call a surgeon with eight arms?

A. A doctopus!

Q. Why did the teacher jump into the lake?

A. Because she wanted to test the waters!

Q. Why did the ベルト go to jail?

A. Because it held up a pair of pants!

Q. What is the center of gravity?

A. The letter V!

Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A. Stick with me and we will go places!

Q. What sort of 星, つ星 is dangerous?

A. A shooting star!

Q. Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?

A. He wanted the lesson to be very clear!

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posted 1年以上前 
scalesandtails1 said:
Q. What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?

A. A turkey!

Q. What kind of cake do あなた get at a cafeteria?

A. A stomach-cake!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

A. He felt crummy!

Q. When does a カート come before a horse?

A. In the dictionary!

Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

A. She couldn't control her pupils!

Q. What do あなた get when あなた put a 魚 and an 象 together?

A. Swimming trunks.

Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?

A. An umbrella

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posted 1年以上前 
scalesandtails1 said:
Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?

A. With cabbage patches!

Q. Why don't they serve チョコレート in prison?

A. Because it makes あなた break out!

Q. What do あなた call artificial spaghetti?

A. Mockaroni!

Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?

A. He has a lot of ketchup time!

Q. Why did the man at the オレンジ ジュース factory lose his job?

A. He couldn't concentrate!

Q. How do あなた repair a broken tomato?

A. トマト Paste!

Q. Why did the baby イチゴ cry?

A. Because his parents were in a jam!

Q. What did the hamburger name his daughter?

A. Patty!

Q. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?

A. A deviled egg!

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posted 1年以上前 
scalesandtails1 said:

Q. What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?

A. A ladder in her stocking!

Q. What did one virus say to another?

A. Stay away, I think I've got penicillin!

Q. What did the tie say to the hat?

A. あなた go on ahead and I'll hang around!

Q. What pet makes the loudest noise?

A. A trum-pet!

Q. What is a tornado?

A. Mother nature doing the twist!



Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Q. How do あなた tease fruit?

A. Banananananananana!

Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?

A. Because he wanted to work over-time!

Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?

A. Because he wanted to see time fly!

Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured デザート answer the phone?

A. Jell-o!

Q. When do あなた stop at green and go at red?

A. When you're eating a watermelon!

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posted 1年以上前 
scalesandtails1 said:
Q. What did the teddy くま, クマ say when he was offered dessert?

A. No thanks, I'm stuffed!

Q. Why did the barber win the race?

A. Because he took a short cut.

Q. What's taken before あなた get it?

A. Your picture.

Q. Why did the 木, ツリー go to the dentist?

A. To get a root canal.

Q. Why did the child study in the airplane?

A. He wanted a higher education!

Q. Why was the ほうき late?

A. It over swept!

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posted 1年以上前 
scalesandtails1 said:
Q. Why were the giant's fingers only eleven inches long?

A. Because if they were twelve inches long, they'd be a foot.

Q. What is invisible and smells like carrots?

A. Bunny Farts!

Q. What runs but can't walk?

A. The faucet!

Q. What kind of ベッド does a mermaid sleep in?

A. A water bed!

Q. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?

A. Firecrackers!

Q. Where's Finnick?

A. O-dair he is
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posted 1年以上前 
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WTF...
vAmPiReNiNjA45 posted 1年以上前
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What?????
scalesandtails1 posted 1年以上前
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O_o
_Gloved1_ posted 1年以上前
Anomalous said:
A man walked into a bar

he says ouch
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posted 1年以上前 
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