Been there, done that. It's like Dory says! "Just keep swimming." あなた can't go back so there's no point in dwelling on wishes and impossibilities. あなた deal with the crap, あなた build a support system, あなた 移動する the fuck on with your life. あなた normally end up coming out of hardships stronger and wiser, which is better than before, yeah?
My best friend is struggling with the same problem ... A few years back, she did some things she regrets, and it changed her for the worst. It's sad because, we've been フレンズ since grade school, and あなた can hear the regret in her voice, and it's truly heartbreaking.. If あなた really feel that way, I'm going to tell あなた what I exactly what i tell her, " You've been through alot, and the fact あなた came out sane itself is impressive. I am sure there are things あなた regret doing, things あなた wanna take back, but if あなた keep looking back on those bad times, あなた can never focus on your present, and your future. Everyone has done things they regret doing...even I feel that way sometimes, but あなた need to keep strong, and don't let your emotions weigh あなた down. Never give up." I really hope this helps..sorry if I sound super depressing...
ok if it changes u for the worst i think u should start fresh. think about some things u loved to do when u liked how u were. find some things that make u happy. if u went threw a whole 年 of bad stuff then whatever u think started it fix. oviously u cant fix whats already broken but u can fix what has a crack. change ur self for the better. make better chioces and get rid of things that put u down and gave stress to make u were u r now. nobody can go back but we can help r sevles to have a good life ahead of us.
First, あなた pretend like everything is fine while you're dying inside. Might actually try dying. Next, あなた yell and curse about all the crap. Then, あなた act like you're fine while still thinking about all the crap. Next, あなた yell and curse about all the crap あなた forgot about the last time. Then, Act like you're fine once again. Next, あなた actually hurt someone else for all the crap あなた 発言しました to them. Finally, あなた realize none of it was worth it, nothing could be changed about it, and あなた 移動する on from it. Still think about it, but it doesn't destroy あなた anymore.
Point is, it just takes time. I'm sure whatever you're going through will eventually teach あなた something. If あなた went back and never went through it, あなた wouldn't have the knowledge about life that あなた have now.