この質問に回答する

ランダム 質問

Can あなた make me laugh?Post The Funniest Thing あなた can and if あなた can make me laugh あなた win a prize!i am NOT saying the prize!The game ends on June 5,2010.1 もっと見る thing,No Pictures または 動画 allowed!if あなた put 1,your disquilified!Good Luck!

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If あなた think your joke is nasty? または just a joke at all? 登録する and post here! : link
adamsgirl23 posted 1年以上前
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This is pretty pointless...
NCISLuverjk93 posted 1年以上前
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I'll post a 質問 anyway
Jamie38459 posted 1年以上前
 skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
next question »

ランダム  ベストアンサー

BellaCullen96 said:
Today, in my english class we spent a good twenty 分 to pronounce the word facetious. Finally a girl in my class 発言しました "Wow, thats a mouthful!" I swear to god I hear my 60 年 old teacher mutter "thats what she said." Made my MONTH. MLIA.
(Credit to link)

Do あなた like bananas? EVERYBODY likes bananas! If it weren't for the mystical バナナ of mysteries, we wouldn't have any radios または toothpaste! PRAISE THE ALMIGHTY BANANA!!! And don't forget to drink your ラマ milk!

Never insert パンツ into a toaster. No good things come from it. I have much experience with this.

Two 恐竜 were sitting on an island when they saw Noah's ark pass by. One looks at the other and says, "Oh shit! That was today?!"

If 林檎, アップル made an iTouch for kids, it would be called iTouch Kids.
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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I 愛 the first one!!! But I hate bananas, and it wasn't as good as the first one!
thespikedturtle posted 1年以上前
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U mean barf.
Jamie38459 posted 1年以上前
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ROTFLD at the Noah's Ark one!
boolander25 posted 1年以上前
next question »

回答

dustfinger said:
Here's a joke:

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my フレンズ encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One 日 little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make 愛 to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if あなた want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was アナと雪の女王 in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the 上, ページのトップへ she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that あなた have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family".

The moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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its not mine. i found it
dustfinger posted 1年以上前
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hahahahah
MiizLadiDiime posted 1年以上前
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omg, lol
Norrapang posted 1年以上前
KishuandIchigo said:
when life gives あなた lemons....
1. throw them at people
2.make グレープ, ブドウ ジュース and watch as people wonder how あなた did it
3. throw them at your doctor because あなた are out of apples
4. go to a hannah montana コンサート and throw them at her and yell "to keep the doctor away"
5. keep them. こんにちは free lemons
6. squirt the ジュース at life. that will teach him!
7. throw them back
8.say DAAAAANG i ordered apples.
9.make a レモン farm then use the money to make a ライム farm and have a citrus monopoly
10.go find someone who life gave shrimp. have a party
11.if life gives あなた melons, you're dreaming
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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12. name each of them harold.
sithouetteTH posted 1年以上前
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#15 squirt some ジュース on your little brother/sister's pants while he/she's asleep, it looks like she/he actually peed in his/her pants :)
Jamie38459 posted 1年以上前
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16. put their hand in a cup of warm レモン ジュース when their asleep
KishuandIchigo posted 1年以上前
Monrose said:
"Everyone can make mistakes", 発言しました the pedophile to the dwarf.
***
If a man talks in the forest and no woman can hear him

is he still wrong?
***
What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?

Having to go to ベッド at seven o'clock.
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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Laugh Meter 2/100 Not laughing,not giggling,not grinning.the Pedophile part was best.
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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post as much as あなた want!
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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um.... sorry, but that wasnt even funny.
roxasismine23 posted 1年以上前
firegirl1515 said:
My friend Peter went into Wallgreen's and his ジャケット zipper got stuck at the bottom. So he's in a corner trying to fix it (and he kind of looks a bit inappropriate, like he's doing something he really shouldn't be doing in public), and a saleslady comes up to him and says:

"What do あなた think you're doing?"
Peter: "I'm trying to get it up!"
Saleslady: "NOT IN MY STORE YOU'RE NOT YOUNG MAN!"

Another thing with my friend Peter:

Eein: "Yes! Ten もっと見る dollars and I'll have enough money for a longboard!"
Peter: "Well, if I get a million もっと見る dollars I'll be a millionaire"
Eein: "Wow dude, you're that poor?"
Peter: "It's not my fault! I spend money on important things, like clothes and video games and hooker- Um, I mean, hooks. Hooks for my pirate costume."

And one of my personal favorites:

Lev: I'm bisexual.
Paul Z. You're joking.
Lev: No, really dude, I'm not. I'm seriously bi.
Claire who is walking によって overhears
Claire: OMG LEV DO YOUR MOM AND DAD KNOW あなた LIKE GAY BOYS?!

NOTE: Names have been changed to protect my friend's identities.
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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post as much as あなた want!
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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I like the first one too
dimitrirocks posted 1年以上前
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that wasnt funny 2 me, but I have no humor anyway so there U go.
Jamie38459 posted 1年以上前
jdblover4life said:
a teacher stood up and 発言しました stand up if ur stupid and none of the kids stood up and then one of the kids stood up and the teacher 発言しました y did u stand up and the kid 発言しました i didnt want u to say ur stupid alone

there was a blonde, she was driving and she pulled over によって a cop and he 発言しました maam u have been swerving for the last 10 mins. and she 発言しました im trying to not to hit the trees and he 発言しました maam thats ur air freshener (lik the pine air fresheners u get for ur car)

yo mama is so old when god 発言しました let there be light she turned on the switch

no offense to blondes/yo mama either または yo blonde mama



select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!! NICE!
PreBanned posted 1年以上前
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they're all pretty funny, but i like the first one the best
music_chick14 posted 1年以上前
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first one: lmao!!!!!
Norrapang posted 1年以上前
JJHitoya said:
hfdehwfueshuafheUHfguehUhguEHUAFUIEWHAJHJHGEHWAjehawuhuehrguhuhuhtureusgushhughrueshwurghuehsw9grheaouhgruahgroeh8grhwth8rhyuerhsuhguraehg8urehaugrhaweo(( I cant make あなた laugh:())hfewuathuiwhguhryeswygreiwuhgurheswiuhgruewhgrehwguirhguirhuiwghruiwghureghuierghuirhgiuerhgurehguirheguirehurehgurehgurheigurheuighreuighureghrughure
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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what did あなた say?
lano500 posted 1年以上前
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wtf does tht say?!my tounges all knoted up n shit...plzz help.haha
iam_emo posted 1年以上前
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ur right, u cant' make me laugh
Norrapang posted 1年以上前
sickla said:
2 muffins ae in an oven.
マフィン 1:is it getting hot in here?
マフィン 2:ahhhhh! a talking muffin!
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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I 愛 that one! :)
thespikedturtle posted 1年以上前
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i made a pic for it
KishuandIchigo posted 1年以上前
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lol
Norrapang posted 1年以上前
ThatDarnHippo said:
Help! I'm drowning!
I got butt cramps,
I want ice cream,
AND NOW IT'S DARK!
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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Laugh Meter 28/100 Not laughing,not giggling,grinning Thats off Spongebob!
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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Songebob immediately raised that to 90/100
ThatDarnHippo posted 1年以上前
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Is that allowed?
Jamie38459 posted 1年以上前
thespikedturtle said:
I'll give my epic quote again, I don't remember where it came from...

"People are like slinkies. They're not really good for anything, but あなた can't help but smile when あなた push one down a staircase."
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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Laugh Meter 87/100 Not laughing,giggling(giggling dosent count)
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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lmao!
music_chick14 posted 1年以上前
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haha
Norrapang posted 1年以上前
reesesdog said:
OMG POOP'S COMING OUT MY MOUTH
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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-34/100
ThatDarnHippo posted 1年以上前
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lmao roxasismine23
hermione980 posted 1年以上前
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ew.........
schnoodle11 posted 1年以上前
number100fan said:
like a joke または something?
#1
-mom, mom, is my brother an angel?
-no, why?
-cause i threw him によって the window and he didn't fly.

#2
-mom, mom, in school they say i'm so distracted
-stupid boy, your house's 次 door

#3 (last one)
they sai money can't buy happiness,
if this true,
i'll rather cry in a ferrari :D
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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Laugh Meter 23/100 Not laughing,not giggling,grinning
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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post as much as あなた want!
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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2nd one is awesome
Kandrakar posted 1年以上前
selgomez5613 said:
when it's not friday i seriously feel like i'm in a box and i sing this バービー song when it isn't friday: link and i absolutely hate school my teacher is so mean
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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Laugh Meter 12/100 Not laughing,not giggling,grinning.
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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post as much as あなた want!
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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.......?
Cantwait4book5 posted 1年以上前
moolah said:
Ever played Scrable?You probably have, am I right?Anyways their is this girl in my class, Ally.And guess what her hobby is!?LLaughing.So anyway in class we were playing Scrable in groups.So it was me,Hannah,Anne,and Ally(who Hannah hates)all playing together.We were messing around and making funny words up and Ally was laughing like heck.And all of a sudden we hear something and Ally still giggling-Anne looks over and screams, "SHE FARTED" so we all frickin burst out laughing like heck falling on the floor,rolling on it too-Anne ended up telling the teacher...

Now あなた know Ally,right?
Okay so Another day(short memory loss)somehow we got ally laughing so hard at lunch she peed her pants.Shhe was still laughhing and stuff...

Okay,enough Ally,now meet my mom.
This is when I was a little kid and me and my grandma and my mom were taking a walk down the road(well,i was riding my bike)And my mom had this problem where when she laughs alot she pees...so we must've gotten her laughing so she started peeing(my mom was holding MY soda)so she dropped my soda,my grandma was laughing,my mom was laughing,but I was crying-she dropped my soda...

My mom still had this peeing prob so we were at the outlets and my mom was laughing and she peed-so she had to run to the bathroom and wait for us to find her a sewet of jeans-well,that took an half hour,i bet she was still laughing in the stall-or possibly crying.

Okay take a dandelion and do this to your friends:
Sister went down the slide,mommy went down the slid,Brother peed down the slide-rub it then-you're yellow!

Okay,I have another one about my little cousin,Cally.Anyways she's 8 and she has spelling words s she asks me to help her practice-one of her words was 'six' and she was om a roll and she spelled-S.e.x.-She trned bright red and I was laughing so hard i literally could not talk for like ever!But,shhhhhh don't tell her I told you!!
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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Laugh Meter 99/100 Not laughing,Giggling like crazy!And Sweating!(if あなた win あなた get 1ST PLACE! dont worry if someone gets 100/100 and it will be easier to win a prize because it goes down 5 points.)
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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post as much as あなた want!
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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the slide one means when あなた rub the dandelion down your arm it looks like pee...
moolah posted 1年以上前
Duncan-superfan said:
**The Things I Like To Do In My Apartment**

I like to scream "RUB A DUB DUB THREE NUNS IN A TUB AND THEIR DOIN' IT WITH A GARDEN NOME!" in my apartment til they neighbors come knocking on my door and tell me to shut up. x3

I like to go to my neighbors upstairs, knock on the door and wait for them to answer. Then they open the door. I hand them a basket full of banana's and say "Merry クリスマス あなた guys!" (its Summer) and I leave, leaving them to be confused for a few minutes. x3

I like to Annoy my neighbors. ^^
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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btw. I know its not funny at all. xp
Duncan-superfan posted 1年以上前
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Laugh Meter 87/100 Not laughing,giggling(giggling dosent count)
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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lol
julialovesMJ posted 1年以上前
energizerbunny said:
Pickles are people too ya know!! just without thumbs and arms and eyes and noses and mouths and legs...fine pick on them!! but you'll be sorry when a ピクルス shows up in your room with a jason mask and a knife!


one 日 pickles will rules the world!! and you'll be working for them instead of eating them
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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O_o Scary pickles...XD!
Duncan-superfan posted 1年以上前
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Laugh Meter 99/100 Not laughing,Giggling like crazy!And Sweating!(if あなた win あなた get 1ST PLACE! dont worry if someone gets 100/100 and it will be easier to win a prize because it goes down 5 points.)
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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lol! ive been trying to convince my friend steph that pickles would take over the world for the past 3months! .......she doesnt buy pickles anymore...
roxasismine23 posted 1年以上前
PreBanned said:
Now, we all know the wonderful klondike bar, right?... Well, me and my フレンズ were sitting at lunch, one comes up to me and sings the little sone. I look at him and say "wana hear a joke?"
he shrugs and says sure

I said" ok, now this is a shit-hole stand up comedy thing, so stand the **** up または it won't be as funny.."
He 発言しました "but your suppose to stand up."
I glared and 発言しました "you wana hear it または not??"
He shrugged, stood up and I told the joke. It went like this:

"ok, so, I asked a guy what would HE do for one of those yummy ice cream Klondike bars. And he says 'Well ma'am. I would give my soul, but I gave that up for immortality. I would give up my wife, but she is dead... Oh! I know! Ill give my children up!!!... Wait, ****..I don't have any.. Eh, what ever, theyre not that good anyway..'
So I look at him, spit, and say 'Your not good anyway."


So there is my story, and I'm sticking to it...


But, there is もっと見る things my idiot companions and I have done...

So now we're sitting in computers. And were screwing around on the internet and what not.

And we go into this program and I find the most ridiculous thing ever, it says
"Jessica S. <3 Dale Carrier"

I stand up and say, "Who the **** typed this lie, come forth now, and あなた won't die later.."
So Cameron gets up,raises his hand. I look at him and say," really dude???Really??" he nods his head and drops to the ground laughin'..what a douche..

Now for my final story..

It happened today in school. It was a 火災, 火 drill, and Dale is looking around, he stared at me, but when I looked at him he 発言しました "what are あなた staring at,bitch??" I look at him, and say "someone with poor manners I see.." He goes red in the face and shoves me into Cameron. I laugh, slap him and walk away grinning. He is holding his face, he is calling me a mother ****er and stuff. He is such a failure...
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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Laugh Meter 87/100 Not laughing,giggling(giggling dosent count)
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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post as much as あなた want!
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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i like the middle one. the last one makes no sence.
roxasismine23 posted 1年以上前
Penguin11 said:
1st story:

There was one of my friends, Jessi, and she asked her best friend, Zana, what the problem was in twilight. so, Zana says; 'Well... She's a human, and he's a vampire... And he wants...to suck...her blood...' And so I was like 'Thats totally not the problem' and so she 発言しました 'well bite me' and I 発言しました 'I'll leave that to Edward Cullen.' DX sucks!

story #dos:

One 日 in science class, our teacher was 表示中 us that trick where あなた put the egg in the bottle with the match; and he said; "Jessi, you're going to push it in, and William, you're going to blow it out." And then William says; "BLOW WHAT OUT?!"
XP

story #3:

Have あなた heard? There's a bird turd on the curb! バナナ shows that anything is possible with toothpaste, duct tape, and 63 gallons of galvanized concrete. 45 bottles of ビール on the wall, 45 bottles of beer, Lindsay Lohan comes down, takes them all, 0 bottles of ビール on my wall! txt t4lk is k3wl 4nd 4LL but d@mn is it h4rd t0 r34d! WEEWOOWEEWOO I HATE DR PEPPER! WEEWOOWEEWOO SAY IT WITH ME! Popcorn. Popcorn. HELP MY 火災, 火 DEPARTMENT IS ON FIRE! CALL 911! ピクルス juice, ピクルス juice. People don't appriciate fine art. ZHUZHUZOOM!

joke #1:

Girl: Mommy why are あなた so smart?
Mom: Because all Moms have to take a test before the コウノトリ comes to bring the baby.
Girl: And so the ones who fail are the daddys?
Mom: thats my girl...


select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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haha, I like the joke one XD
PreBanned posted 1年以上前
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愛 story #3! I HATE DR PEPPER!!!!!
schnoodle11 posted 1年以上前
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愛 the last one!
music_chick14 posted 1年以上前
cowsrock6578 said:
To be honest, idk how to swim, ride my bike without training wheels, tie my shoes, または even hold a pencil right
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 99/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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me neither haha
DiNozzosShorty posted 1年以上前
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i no how to hold a pencil あなた put it between あなた toes than あなた rock back and forth
jblovesme4ever posted 1年以上前
teamsalvatore98 said:
omg.the.cookie.monster.ate.me.becasue.i.look.and.smell.like.cookies.wtf?the.phone.just.rang.omg.whats.
with.all.the.slang.justin.bieber.cries.and.sings.like.a.girl.i.went.to.the.bathroom.today.it.smelled.bad.and.was.brown.i.feel.like.a.dumbnut.you.feel.like.a.dooshbag. : )
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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lol
Sonicishot posted 1年以上前
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haha...
iam_emo posted 1年以上前
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no dissing the cookie monster!!! one 日 he shall rule the world!!! *evil chuckle*
music_chick14 posted 1年以上前
Jeffersonian said:
Hmm...
Well, how about a conversation I had with Cleverbot consisting of me using 名言・格言 from my お気に入り 表示する

User: Go ahead, impress me.

Cleverbot: I feel wonderful, because I see the 愛 light in your eyes.

User: It's the outfit, not exactly a standard issue Westchester サッカー mom.

Cleverbot: Oh really? How about the conversation あなた had with Jessica Almendares?

User: または don't remember? We can fill in the holes for you.

Cleverbot: How sweet! I'd like to go to New York too.

User: Buy and sell land and water, pretty much covers everything.

Cleverbot: あなた must be the ビール holder?

User: I don't know where that match was made, but it wasn't heaven, what a snake oil merchant.

Cleverbot: Live is a palindrome of eviL.

User: Neat and tidy, everything in it's place and a place for everything.

Cleverbot: What is your favourite fish?

User: Some guy dressed up like a big nickel?

Cleverbot: I think あなた are talking about James Bond.

User: That's how they met, over some dusty papers?

Cleverbot: あなた are very random. Muffins are very good.

User: Big trouble for Big Louie.

Cleverbot: Big trouble for monkeys.










select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 87/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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Thanks
Jeffersonian posted 1年以上前
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confused.......
music_chick14 posted 1年以上前
xneville_rocksx said:
My friend Kylie was coming ホーム from a store with her little brother - who is only five - with her dad in the car in front of them. She takes a pad out of a box they just bought, and she told her little brother that he had a big boo-boo on his forehead, and that the pad was a bandaid. So he puts the "band aid" on his head. When they got out of the car, her brother ran up to their dad and told him he had a boo-boo on his head. Obviously, her dad was not very happy about this :D

I like this - it is cute and funny (:
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 99/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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lol
Cantwait4book5 posted 1年以上前
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what waz the pad than and y wasnt the dad happy jk jk jk jk
jblovesme4ever posted 1年以上前
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haha
dimitrirocks posted 1年以上前
zanesaaomgfan said:
Justin Bieber works with oompa lumpas.

Oh wait, SHE works FOR oompa Lumpas...
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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not funny :/
Cantwait4book5 posted 1年以上前
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あなた suck
jblovesme4ever posted 1年以上前
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My cousin is the corny one. UGH! I need to enter another joke!
zanesaaomgfan posted 1年以上前
sassikassi said:
i am madonna...johnny cash gave me a spanking
im justin beiber!!!ohh hee hoo i a girl!! i have 100 tubes of lipstick and take 3 hours to put it on!!!
i am エモ boo hooooooo i wanna stab u
i got farted on によって a cat(tru)
a バタフライ, 蝶 named hairbow peed on me
oh noooes a venus flytrap is eating my head... N WHY THE HELL IS IT SOOO BIG?!?
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 99/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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how is that funny?
Cantwait4book5 posted 1年以上前
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i laugh dasily
sassikassi posted 1年以上前
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oops i mean easily
sassikassi posted 1年以上前
Teamdamon33 said:
I’m not really good at telling jokes, but this is the only one I remember (I know it’s not funny):

Teacher: Peter, if I say ‘I was pretty’, it’s past tense, if I say ‘I’ll be pretty’, it’s future tense, and if I say ‘I’m pretty‘, it is…
Peter: A lie!

select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
schnoodle11 posted 1年以上前
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Really? Well, thanks!!
Teamdamon33 posted 1年以上前
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lol
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
Sonicishot said:
I have another one: In the city, あなた must fight to survive, he sold tortillas at the corner, and the mob wanted him. "I don't know who this guy is, but i want him and his tortillas....DEAD!!! On man had a chance...and his chance was to fight back! Arnold schwarcanhimer..(However あなた spell his last name) "Listen to me, these are my tortillas and im not letting them out of here."..."Get out of here they are trying to kill you!!!!SOUND TRACK によって AARON KORKI:(Singing) "Hot 上, ページのトップへ あなた better watch out!! The're gonna take your tortillas!! あなた better guess who!! "Migeto! Who are these men and what do they want!?!?! "Listen to me and just dont..Listen to me!!! You've gotta get out of here they are gonna take my tortillas!!...One man, one solution.....Arnold Schwarmanhimer this summer is: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!! ......Little Tortilla boy...
select as best answer
posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 99/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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Did i win?
Sonicishot posted 1年以上前
Confuzzle said:
Credit to the Real Houswives for:

"You 発言しました Alex was a kabooki with black eye makeup and that Bethenny was gonna kill あなた with a バター knife" -Sonja

This one's mine:
So there's this kid who thinks he's all that and has really long hair. We were playing kickball, and the lineup was boy-girl order, and he was sitting in between two guys. After confronting him about this...I stated that he had "gender issues".
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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 87/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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iont get et....
iam_emo posted 1年以上前
bella_and_emma said:
Submission one: My art 表, テーブル (a true story...)

Okay, so the fact of the matter is, I hate president Obama. Please don't bother posting nasty コメント about that, it's not going to change my mind (and dont even think about calling me racist)...

Ok, so my art class was working on clay sculptures... when あなた get your clay, あなた have to pound it really hard to get the air bubbles out. I'm usually the only one who considers this to be fun (violence can be fun...). My フレンズ asked why I was having so much fun pounding the clay, I told them it was because I was pretending it was Obama's head...

Somehow, it went from this to my フレンズ deciding that I'm having an affair with the president... apparently, my nickname for him is big O.

the following is what a typical art class will go like at my 表, テーブル now...

friend 1: so, do あなた and big O have any plans for tonight?

me: *bites lip* we were going to... but he can't get rid of Michelle...

friend 2: If あなた want, I can pretend to be a terrorist... that'd probably distract her long enough for あなた to have some fun ;)

Me: Aww, you'd do that for me? I'll have to invite あなた 次 time we feel like having a threesome ;)

friend 2: really? How often do あなた have threesomes?

me: maybe once または twice a month?

friend 3: あなた three... are so gross...

me: you're just jealous... I bet if I invited あなた to 登録する in, you'd be fine with it

friend 3: . . .

Submission two: My little brother (true story)

My little brother (5 years younger) is a pedo in the making... Who knew so much perversion could fit into an 11 年 old???

He knows pretty much every dirty joke, and he makes rapist faces at me pretty much all the time... what is a rapist face あなた ask? Trust me, あなた DON'T want to know...

Whenever he walks into a room (and he knows that us two are the only ones there), he has a tendency to shout "MERMAID SEX FIGHT!!!"

One 日 when I came ホーム from school, I walked up stairs to find him waiting for me to come up... he was shirtless, and as soon as he saw me, he pressed play on his iPod, and Ke$ha's "Blah Blah Blah" came on, right at the point where she's like, "I wanna get naked!"

Yesterday we were eating ice cream cones, a seemingly innocent activity... except he kept on making sexual references, and licking his cone as if it was something else.

The sad thing is, my mom is thoroughly convinced that he's a totally innocent kid...
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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 99/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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dude...thts incest!!!hahaha
iam_emo posted 1年以上前
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yes ur brother does nweeed therapy but obama is a gaywad like justinbieber
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
phangirl2009 said:
okay one 日 in lunch my bff got a バナナ for lunch. and バナナ is my other friend (kaityln) and mine word for penis. and nicole found out. so nicole was like "I like my bananas with whip cream!" so i interupted her and 発言しました "Ya but its the nice thick and creamy cool whip thats the best, not the watery reddi whip!" we bursted out laughing cuz no one knew wat we were saying!
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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 87/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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WTF???HAHA..PERVES.
iam_emo posted 1年以上前
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ya we also yell out smurf in the halls and call ppl smurfjobs
phangirl2009 posted 1年以上前
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i randomly call people dooshes for no reason and im not sure wat a dooswh is...
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
Heya said:
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 秒 AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The 次 morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her ローブ and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 99/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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Well, thank you???????
Heya posted 1年以上前
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okay i dont think i get it...some one please explain in a nice way.
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
Fairy8346 said:
Bramble: how do u find the circomfrence of a circle

Star: pi r squared

Ash: pi r not squared, pi r round!
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 Bramble: how do u find the circomfrence of a サークル, 円 Star: pi r squared Ash: pi r not squared, pi r round!
posted 1年以上前 
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Umm...didnt skunkfan1 say no pictures?
Sonicishot posted 1年以上前
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disqualfied sorry
Jenny27876 posted 1年以上前
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i 愛 me soime pie!!!! (pumpkin, please!)
music_chick14 posted 1年以上前
weirdcandy said:
Can あなた make me laugh?Post The Funniest Thing あなた cand and if あなた can make me laugh あなた win a prize!i am NOT saying the prize!The game ends on June 5,2010.1 もっと見る thing,No Pictures または 動画 allowed!if あなた put 1,your disquilified!Good Luck!
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posted 1年以上前 
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XD That is the 質問
Sonicishot posted 1年以上前
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i know
weirdcandy posted 1年以上前
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That was hilarious! No kidding! :D
emisa123 posted 1年以上前
kylie925 said:
I have 2 jokes

1) why did the police officer go to bed

2) what did the girl become when she spilled the box of cereal
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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 0/100.finish the stuff
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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2nd one is serial killer.
Confuzzle posted 1年以上前
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1) cuz he was tired
KishuandIchigo posted 1年以上前
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cuz he was under cover :D
waffleking167 posted 1年以上前
Alycat4848 said:
Eh might as well post this. I was at my フレンズ house one time and it was like one または two in the morning. We were giggling for no reason and all of a sudden she informs me that "you can't drown someone under water."

Another time me and her were playing a dice game and she was losing. She dropped her dice and when she bent down to get them she fell out of her chair and started throwing a tantrum. Since I was eating サワー gummy キャンディー when I started laughing I also started choking while she laughed. Laughing and choking I went across the キッチン and got some water which made it worse so I ended up choking for about five 分 while we both laughed.
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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 87/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
cbeadlessss said:
what to do when you're bored:
1. Argue with the wall
2. Go to McDonalds and ask for KFC
3. Go to a neighbors, ring the doorbell, throw a pie at them and scream " aliens are coming"
4. Roll down aisles as stores
5. Hide in clothing racks and yell " pick me" whenever someone passes
6. Pretend you're a baby bird learning to fly
7. 20 分 into an exam, slam down your paper and scream "I can't take this anymore" and runaway.
8. Stalk people at the mall
9. Go in a changing and sing "I see ロンドン I see France I see someone underpants"
10. Make a 一覧 of things to do when you're bored.


So over the weekend, me and 3 other kids broke our phones :(

I have a friend named broccoli

My friend calls mt. Fuji , mt. Fudgie

I fell off the trampoline and my neighbor made fun of me. Then he fell off and broke his wrist.

My friend almost hit the 木, ツリー with my go kart

My teacher is germaphobic

I am eally random

lol please follow me and I will try to post my full 一覧 of things to do when you're bored.
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posted 1年以上前 
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I 愛 # 1, 2, and 9!!! lol
mitchie19 posted 1年以上前
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あなた win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
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thank you!!! If u liked this then please follow me and I will post a full 一覧 of 30 things!
cbeadlessss posted 1年以上前
lano500 said:
I'll post some good/funny websites:

link
link

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posted 1年以上前 
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no リンク
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
Diblover111 said:
meh I'm bored...MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Ima cow!!!!!

Sweet memories of Rubii...NOT IN A GAY WAY!!!

Your mom is your face!!

Your mom is your Kanji!!

Dib's your mom!!

Your mom is your mom!!

MAMA!!!

There were some docters doing surgery on an elephant. It was lunch break, and they were almost done. While the other docters were eating lunch, one of the docters jumped in the huge cut "GERONIMOO!!!" The other docters finished their lunch and stiched up the cut, with the docter inside.

a few days later...

The docter punches himself out of the elephant. the elephant: AAAAAHHH!! I'M HAVING A BABY!!!!

I'm done now.

PS. MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 3/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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Wooo!! I rock!!
Diblover111 posted 1年以上前
sithouetteTH said:

I taught a ラマ how to drive!! muahahahahaha!!! they 発言しました I could never teach a ラマ to drive!!!..... NO ラマ NOO!!! *llama drives off cliff*




There's a frog in my closet that stares into your soul.At night, he comes out and pokes me... I hug the ウォール and say It's gonna be alright. The frog says if I tell where his secret hiding place is, he'll feed on my colin.




I live in the planet of Tacoville where chickens roam and bagels fly freely in the mountains of fdsjfhdlsui.




ORANGES ARE NOT INCLUDED




When a ラマ knocks on your door and says he's jefferson, don't answer.

when life gives あなた shrimp, あなた make taco-ade!




Thank あなた for listening.



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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 99/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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when life gives あなた shrimp, give it to the ラマ and he will drive off of the clif again
KishuandIchigo posted 1年以上前
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roflmao
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
Sugartooth900 said:
If a hobo asked yoda for money he would say slap あなた 雌犬 i will

when life gives あなた lemons, あなた put it in テキーラ and get shitfaced

when the world gave あなた cheese あなた say where the fuck is the macaroni

how much do あなた think bella's period bothers edward?

nope i can't go to hell satin still has a resraining order on me


OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!

Wait i forgot


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posted 1年以上前 
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haha
iam_emo posted 1年以上前
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omg!
irena83 posted 1年以上前
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what did u forget???!!!???
music_chick14 posted 1年以上前
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i cant go to hell satan still has a restraining order on me...lol
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
Ashyroxsox said:
A kid in my class asked if we where going to learn about the male human body and my teacher replied "Im not even going to touch that..."

My friend 発言しました "I can use my right and left hand to write so Im anorexic"

Another friend 発言しました iv 発言しました gullible slow 5 times now and and it doesn't sound anything like goldfish

Another friend "wait they have a president in Africa?"

"Did あなた know dolphins are just gay sharks?"
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posted 1年以上前 
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laugh meter 98/100
skunkfan1 posted 1年以上前
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how come あなた didn't rate mine?
Sugartooth900 posted 1年以上前
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whats uppp peopleee?
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
daisylove said:
OMG, I DIED
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posted 1年以上前 
-Foxfang- said:
When life gives あなた skittles, throw them at ランダム people and say TASTE THE FREAKING RAINBOW!!!

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posted 1年以上前 
EYBanuelos said:
Okay, grab two chickens. Number them one,two,and four and release them in your school's campus. Obviously, the staff of your school will catch all the chickens, but they're going to go crazy looking for chicken #3!
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posted 1年以上前 
iam_emo said:
okii...this is a nasty joke:
3 pigs fellin the mud.

THE END
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posted 1年以上前 
adultswimperson said:
あなた may laugh really hard at this one, this is from a fosters ホーム for imaginary フレンズ video from YouTube with the character cheese in it and the video has over 1 million 閲覧数 and each time someone leaves a コメント they either think cheese says "I FUCKED A CARROT" または "I FUCKED UP KAREN" from spongebob, planktons wife, but really he's saying "I FOUND A CARROT"!!.
so heres a little joke i find is extreamly funny.

Plankton: "What have あなた done to my wife, あなた brute?"
Cheese: "I fucked up Karen!"
Karen: "Data uploaded."


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posted 1年以上前 
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WHAT'S THE VID'S NAME!? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
nigahigarocks98 posted 1年以上前
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Its called "I FOUND A CARROT", and theres also parodys of this video as well, watch them and u will laugh
adultswimperson posted 1年以上前
Annacrombie said:
i gotta few

This is what happens when あなた take away my sugar

"NOT MAH SUGAR MWHAHAHAHAHAHA I NOW HAVE ME HOSTAGE FOR ME! THE WORLD WILL BE FILLED WITH BBQ MCNUGGETS FORM WONDERLAND AND JUNE WITH BE EATEN によって A DOUGHNUT WHILE CARLO THE ICE CREAM MAN DIGS UP MICHEAL JACKSONS BODY FROM HIS GRAVE WICH I, A.C KILLED MICHEAL JACKSON NOW IF あなた WILL EXCUSE ME I NEED TO PICK UP SOME PEANUTBUTTER WINKIES FROM THE AIRPORT

MWHAHAHAHA THIS IS WHAT あなた DO WHEN あなた TAKE AWAY MAH SUGAR!"-dont ask all あなた need to know is that i like sugar...alot

I was suprised one 日 to come to school and find my friend smelling of smoke and his hair sticking upwards, like he had just had and electric shock
"I didnt realise that the トースター was on" was all he managed to say


The other 日 I was in court for murder as I aproached the judge who asked me "Why did あなた kill this man ***** *******?" I responeded "Cuz i was bored"

not that funny but I got more!


My friend Miriam was getting scared thinking that the world was going to end in 2012, somehow the conversation ending with me saying "OH NO! MRS TREVET IS WARING NO CLOTHES, THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!"wev'e not talked of it scince

Amazing what people will belive wont they *gets text* OH NO! Katie just texed me saying that Abercrombie 発言しました it was uncool to belive! *hold breath*
Later that day
A news reporter was on tv "And 92% of american teen's have died today,rumor has it of a prank text going around"


yeah, i got nothing
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posted 1年以上前 
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i think it's funny and i <3 vegetables as much az u <3 sugar
selgomez5613 posted 1年以上前
teamalice_0 said:
Its past the 日付 but i wanna put this

This dad takes his son hunting. He tells his son," Okay, if あなた say a word while we're out here I'm gonna spank you." So the first 日 passes and the little boy doesn't say a thing. 秒 日 passes and the little boy doesn't say a thing. Then the third 日 comes, and they found a big ブル elk. The dad takes aim and just as he's about to squeeze the trigger the little boy begins screaming. The ブル runs off and the dad turns around and says," Now I'm gonna spank you!!" The little boy looks up at his dad and says," But dad, the first 日 that the mountain lion chased me I didn't say anything, the 秒 日 when the rattle snake crawled across my boot I didn't say a word I just couldn't stand it when the two squrrals ran up my pants and says," lets eat one now and save one for later."

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posted 1年以上前 
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lol.............
archiejake1991 posted 1年以上前
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lol
teamsalvatore98 posted 1年以上前
Matsy23 said:
(true story and it happened to me XD)
ok so i choked on a vegetable and i gagged so loudly buy the time i pulled it out of my throat my cousin his grandpa and baby sister were staring at me so the lesson here is: VEGETABLES ARE EVIL!!!!!!!! XD
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posted 1年以上前 
jblovesme4ever said:
okay a coup;e of months 前 me and a frieend whent to wal-mart and when we decided 次 time the intercom came on we would start screaming and so when is dis i fell on the ground holding my knees yellin plz dont kill me plz plz dont hurt me amd crazy stuff like that so then a worker ccame and asked what waz going on my friend forgot to sscream but anyway she oh this is my sister she has issues and the lady 発言しました oh and got a piece of gum and i decideed to play along so i acted like a dor begging untill she gave me the pack of gum
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posted 1年以上前 
zanhar1 said:
...pickles...
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posted 1年以上前 
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...
GirlsGenerat202 posted 1年以上前
Jamie38459 said:
1 日 in the forest, 3 guys were just hikin along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attacked them & knocked them out. When they woke up, tey were at the leader of the tribes throne. The cheif then 発言しました "All of ur lives mayB spared if U can find 10 of 1 フルーツ & bring it bac 2 me." So after a while,1st man returned wit 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him 2 stick them all up 2 his butt w/out makin an expression on his face. He had a litle bit of trouble wit the 1st 1 and started cryin while tryin 2 put th 次 1 in. He ws soon killed.
Later, the 次 guy came in wit 10 grapes. The cheif ordered him 2 do the same as the 1st guy. After th 9th グレープ, ブドウ he started laughin so hard 4 no apperant reason, and was killed. The 1st guys soon met in heaven and the 1st guy asked the 2nd, "Why did U start laughing? U only needed 1 mor グレープ, ブドウ and U'd hav gottn away!" The 2nd guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the 3rd guy walkin in wit pineapples."
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posted 1年以上前 
schnoodle11 said:
once upon a time, there was a チェリー pie. this チェリー pie was a kind and generous チェリー pie. he spent his time feeding 赤ちゃん to old people to restore their youth. but one day, the pie failed me. i was so outraged that i was led to throw a pie in his face. the pie was shocked and hurt, so he cried out, "WHY HAVE あなた SOILED THE MONKEY BOOTS?!" ignoring his tears i cried, "YOU FOOL! DON'T あなた KNOW 馬 ARE ALLERGIC TO THE MACARANA?! NOW WHO WILL WATER OUR VEGETARIANIOUS VENUS FLY TRAPS?!"
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posted 1年以上前 
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