Is anyone here who have interest in "Haiku"....

Because, i wanna write Haiku.. .
.
and i wrote it,
Need your アドバイス ..
About haiku i wrote!
Here:
A lady
And love
Rainy
.
Dusk a
lady lad
man in
.
I want your advice.. .

 K_lleH-Hell_k posted 1年以上前
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回答

SRitchieable said:
The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement.

A traditional Japanese haiku goes:
Girls planting paddy [ie ご飯, 米 fields]
Only their song
Free of mud.

As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the ご飯, 米 paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if あなた think it through.

I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern または paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie ご飯, 米 paddy planting, 愛 etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject.

So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what あなた want to say. Is a lady in 愛 like the rain または a rainy day? Is 愛 like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps:
Rain falls on
A lady; it
Is like love.

または whatever it is あなた TRULY want to say.


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 The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement. A traditional Japanese haiku goes: Girls planting paddy [ie ご飯, 米 fields] Only their song Free of mud. As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the ご飯, 米 paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if あなた think it through. I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern または paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie ご飯, 米 paddy planting, 愛 etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject. So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what あなた want to say. Is a lady in 愛 like the rain または a rainy day? Is 愛 like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps: Rain falls on A lady; it Is like love. または whatever it is あなた TRULY want to say.
posted 1年以上前 
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Thank You!!
K_lleH-Hell_k posted 1年以上前
RiderOfTempest said:
i always thought that haiku had to have 5 letters in the 1st line, seven in the 2nd, and 5 again in the 3rd.....
then again, i've never studied it properly....

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posted 1年以上前 
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Lol, :D
K_lleH-Hell_k posted 1年以上前
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actually its five syllables not letters
RiverIce posted 1年以上前
Jace123 said:
I like Haiku its preety nice!
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posted 1年以上前 
RiverIce said:
I always thought that Haiku was like
1st line: 5 syllables
2nd line: 7
1st line: 5
like:

The お花 I pick
They dance with colors, like me
The Colors(色) never fade

or

愛 is a Boulder
あなた can study it nicely
または let the rock fall

i like the 2nd one
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 I always thought that Haiku was like 1st line: 5 syllables 2nd line: 7 1st line: 5 like: The お花 I pick They dance with colors, like me The Colors(色) never fade または 愛 is a Boulder あなた can study it nicely または let the rock fall i like the 2nd one
posted 1年以上前 
audrey34-z said:
A haiku is a short,timed 詩 that expression throught a 5-7-5 syllabes.
あなた have to expell your image that is ephemer.Meaning it doesn't stay too long.

日本 origin, they have to compress their sensation,season into small line. The best option is figure of style,compar it to another object,material または double sense.

Your's is dry,only 4 syllabes to each vers (Tetrasyllabe) and not so expressif.The text give あなた an illusion of being an haiku since the 2nd one is long to others snce あなた can do a 7 syllabes one.
But it doesn't mean that あなた have to stop, the road to a better haiku is long and expression and idea clasing will make あなた a better writter.
The road may be long but あなた can do it.
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posted 1年以上前 
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