From an Eメール I got.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until あなた hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A 日 without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live によって the sword get shot によって those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime あなた have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is 発言しました that if あなた line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left behind によって those who got there first.

12. Give a man a 魚 and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to 魚 and he will sit in a ボート all 日 drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When あなた go into court, あなた are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.