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20 FACTS あなた DEFINITELY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT 5SOS'S MICHAEL CLIFFORD TO CELEBRATE HIS 20TH BIRTHDAY
I remember visiting this website once...
It was called 20 facts あなた definitely didn't know about 5SOS's Michael Clifford to celebrate his 20th birthday
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Twenty years ago, a small and somewhat multi-coloured boychild was born unto this world. No, not Jesus you fool, we\'re talking about someone with much better hair and
But while the headline might have you like, "GOD SUGARSCAPE, YOU\'RE SO STUPID. WE KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT MICHAEL, DUH," please shhhhh for a second because we have some extremely important facts to share with you.
Yep, to celebrate such a special occasion we\'ve got out our best investigative journalistic skills out and uncovered 20 facts that we guarantee you definitely, 100% did not know about Michael. So grab yourselves a seat and let\'s do dis, do dis (I-G-G-Y).
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1. His parents had actually intended to name him after Mickey Mouse and Cliff Richard, but unfortunately the registrar had a bad case of pink eye and accidentally spelt his name wrong on the birth certificate. Thus Mikey Gordon Clifford was born.
2. Michael was originally hired to choreograph the video for Kelis\'s hit single
, but was unfortunately thrown off set after suggesting he was better at booty slapping than her.
She accepted his offer to teach her, but shit really hit the fan when he told her he\'d have to charge.
— Michael Clifford (@Michael5SOS) July 25, 2014
3. Michael never meant to get his eyebrow pierced. Originally he went in to get his nose done, but at the crucial moment he sneezed and ended up with an eyebrow piercing instead.
4. He very nearly didn\'t join 5SOS at al,l after he was offered a six figure deal to star as an Angelina Jolie impersonator in Vegas under the stage name of \'Mangelina Jolie\'.
Luckily he wasn\'t happy with the standard of the thigh splits in the gowns that wardrobe provided, so he decided to give punk rock a go instead.
5. Rumour has it the real reason Michael jumps up and down on stage so much is because he once offered his pants as a nest to a family of ducklings, after their home was destroyed in a fire.
Unfortunately he often forgets to take them out before going on stage and they\'re currently teething, hence the somewhat erratic jumps and bounds he makes.
6. Aside from The Great Wall of China, Michael\'s rainbow coloured hair is the only man made construction on earth that can be seen from space.
7. When he\'s not practicing the guitar, Michael likes to cut loose with members of the Western Australian rhythmic gymnastics team.
"For me, the way the ribbons whip through the air and all around my hair are a real metaphor for breaking free from the daily strictures of a post-modern capitalist society," Michael says on the subject. "Wearing a leotard also allows me to air out my nether regions. Yeast infections are a very real risk I think people should consider more in day to day life."
8. When he sleeps he dreams he is a squirrel named Alfonso.
9. Michael has black belts in judo, jujitsu and sumo wrestling. He can also knit.
Both are part of a very particular set of skills he is prepared to use if anyone ever threatens to hurt Luke, Calum or Ashton.
10. Michael was born with eight toes on his right foot, but lost three of them during a freak synchronised swimming accident when he was nine.
He hasn\'t been able to look at a pair of goggles or Calum Hood the same way since.
11. The last time Michael cried was when he found out they\'d run out of couscous at Waitrose. He may seem hardcore punk rock, but inside there is a middle class mum of three just dying to get out.
12. Mikey once won an award for wrestling a kangaroo. Or at least he would have if he hadn\'t mistaken a pot plant for the kangaroo and ended up with nothing but a handful of thorns and broken terracotta instead.
13. He is currently locked in a bitter court battle with The Wiggles over their refusal to acknowledge him as the inspiration for the character of Henry The Octopus.
Having used what he believes is his loose-legged dance moves, his love for seaweed pie and penchant for plaid accessories as a basis for the character, Michael says he is prepared to take this all the way to the International Court of Human Rights.
"It\'s not the money, but the children" Michael says. "They have a right to know that we Octopuses have feelings and rights as performers too."
14. His spirit animal is Gordo from Lizzie McGuire.
15. The real reason Mikey always orders his cheeseburger without onions stems from a childhood incident which saw him locked in a shed with nothing but a family-pack of cheese and onion crisps to sustain him for 27 hours straight.
waddup I got a haircut. im just pumped up on some shit I got from the thrift shop...
A photo posted by Michael Clifford 🍆 (@michaelgclifford) on
16. When he was 16, Michael was possessed by the evil spirit of a duck billed platypus called Daniel.
Despite priests being called to rectify the situation by locking the spirit into the body of a small stuffed lion, you may notice that he is sometimes still haunted by the dark and unpredictable spectre, which also explains why he is sometimes unwittingly forced to pull duckface in photos.
17. Michael once applied for a job at Sugarscape but withdrew his application after they told him Edward Cullen wasn\'t real and he wouldn\'t get to touch him as part of the job.
18. El Cliffo has a phobia of bandanas and is plagued by nightmares that Ashton\'s collection of headrags will come to life and rip out all of his glorious curls in the middle of the night.
19. Kris Jenner tried to adopt Michael last year.
Sadly Kylie kicked off about there being a member of the family with fuller lips than hers and the deal fell through, even after he offered to act as both her bum and pout double for Instagram purposes.
Shame really, because no one rocks a skimpy black bikini and a nude lip like Mikey.
20. As a child Mikey dreamt of a career as a professional Wishing Troll. This explains why his hair changes colour so often and while he has since ditched this dream in favour of becoming a musician, he did go as far as to get a gem stone implanted in his bellybutton.
Calum, Luke and Ashton still rub it for luck every night before 5SOS go on stage.
Told you that you really wouldn\'t know any of those. Not sure even Michael would know them tbh. Let us know what you make of all this with a tweet to @Sugarscape - especially if you\'ve got any Mikey based facts to share with the class.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL WE LIKE YOU A WHOLE LOT.
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