Parker: I bought a plant..
Hardison: Nice,team spirit!
Parker: What does it do?



Parker: I don't like stuff..I like money

Parker: I’m so glad I don’t live in the real world.



Hardison: Who feels like playing ‘Where’s Waldo?’
Parker: Oh!
Hardison: I do.
Parker: Yeah.
Hardison: There’s Waldo right there, Waldo Ford. Oh, oh, is that Big Ben and you? Wow, you got twins and triplets everywhere. And lookie there, 11:18AM standing outside Sophie’s apartment looking quite pensive.
Parker: Awww he’s rehearsing what he’s gonna say. I’ve seen him do that.

Eliot: Thats twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag

Does anyone know the quote about how Nate took a bunch of thieves and broke them. I think that Hardison said it but they all have a part in the quote. If anyone knows I will really be grateful, please and thank you.

Eliot (to Hardison in Pilot episode): You're exactly the reason I work alone.

Nathan : Did you just kill a guy with an appetizer?
Eliot : I dunno. Maybe...


Eliot : Hardison, how am I supposed to get out of the FBI offices with a box full of surveillance tapes, huh?
Alec : Punch somebody!
Eliot : Oh, I'm gonna punch somebody.


Eliot : Nobody throws Hardison off a roof... except maybe me... no.

My favorite exchange between guest stars:

“Wow, you are super old. Thank you for the history lesson. Maybe later you can tell us about that one time you punched Hitler in the face….” — Chaos
“I own two canes: One, with a Taser capable of delivering 10,000 volts; the other extends a 6-inch stiletto blade.” — Archie
“Which one is, is this one?” — Chaos, referring tot he cane Archie had pressed against his neck
“Well, I don’t seem to remember; I am super old.” — Archie

Hardison: "Have you ever been to Kiev? The cakemaker of Kiev could whoop all our asses! This is the BUTCHER"

Elliot - Damn it hardison

Nate well first we need figure out what we're looking for and who's got it then we have to steal it and get of the plane without anyone noticing and we have to do that be for the plane lands in five and a half hours

Sophie so pause business

passenger exuce me exuce me i was hoping I could get a ginger ale

Paker yeah ill get to you in one minute

Passenger hmm it's just that i have a nervous stomach so if you wouldn't mind

Paker there's a system

Passenger Im not feeling very well

Paker ok gives her if your gonna hurl use this paper bag turns to next passenger hi there sorry some passengers can be so rude

bad guy to elliot: you dont have a gun Elliot: thats what makes it fair

When Elliot's like "I'm going to go wander the halls, in the dark. And sharpen this knife." and then Hardisons like "Ookay"