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キリスト教 質問

Help! How do I tell my non christian boyfriend that I don't want to have sex until I'm married?

Hi, I'm a 20 years old christian and I've been dating a guy who's not christian for about a month. Whenever we're together we cuddle and キッス and I can see that he wants us to go further and have sex (which is the most normal thing for a couple nowadays), but even if I also want to, I always stop it there because I don't want to have sex until I'm married.

How can I tell him in the smoothest possible way? I just don't want him to be mad at me. If he can't stand this and wants to break up, that's okay because this is important for my beliefs but I just don't want him to get angry... We haven't talked about religion at all yet.
 Vertigo42 posted 1年以上前
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キリスト教 回答

tiagih said:
I will be honest, it may be better to not be in the relationship at all, just to avoid the temptation. If he wants to have sex, that means at the right opportunity または when あなた say あなた are ready (even if あなた aren't sure), he will have sex because he doesn't value "waiting".

キス and cuddling can lead to sex, so if あなた want to avoid premarital sex, avoid touching as much as possible with your boyfriend, unless he is the type that truly wants to wait to.

I am saying that because lots of girls who have had boyfriends who all they did was キッス and cuddle, 8/10 ended up having sex with that guy before they eventually got married

In a relationship it is important to be upfront and honest about values because most times we want relationships to last, so its a good to talk about values and religion, so that あなた can avoid fights down the road because of a difference of beliefs, あなた would be better prepared for discussions. If he cares about あなた then he won't be angry.

However as a girl (i hope) あなた should be aware that he is a guy, and guys think about sex esp if they had sex before. So don't do things to tempt him, キス and cuddling could be a tease for him, so while あなた may be patient and wait, consider his feelings and and work on もっと見る ways to be intimate that don't involve having to be "intimate" because while あなた are set in your ways, he could struggle and a sexual frustrated bf (or gf) isn't always a nice person to be around.
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posted 1年以上前 
Warmaster903 said:
Be honest to him, the only thing he can say is no.
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posted 1年以上前 
misanthrope86 said:
I'm not a christian despite my presence in this spot, but I don't think this is a christian-only question, so here are my thoughts:

あなた 発言しました あなた haven't spoken with him about religion yet. I suggest having this conversation might be good for you. Religion seems to be an incredibly important aspect of your life, so sharing it with him could be a start. Personally, I wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone who I wasn't comfortable discussing religion with. あなた may be totally different, and that is fine, but it does seem to me that if your religious beliefs are significant to you, あなた should feel able to discuss them with him.

Whether あなた take that as a first step または not, あなた should be direct and honest with him about the sex stuff. Your body, your beliefs, your choice. Make sure he understands what that means. Being worried about his feelings cannot come at the expense of your own. Besides, if あなた explain that your choices are deeply personal to you, and nothing to do with him as a person, he should be able to understand that your choices are about you, not him. But again, I think a conversation about religion may help contextualise everything.

So that is my advice: be upfront and own your choices. Your body, your beliefs, your choices.
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posted 1年以上前 
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Definitely interesting to have this perspective, a very thoughtfully answered post.
okcgriffin posted 1年以上前
okcgriffin said:
Hi.
This is a good example of why the Bible talks about not being "unequally yoked". If あなた 日付 and marry someone who doesn't share your beliefs, so many problems arise - and some will be very serious. Do あなた want to marry this man eventually? Would あなた want children who are raised in a ホーム where the parents disagree about the most important thing in life?

It's tough, I know, but i think あなた have another 質問 that has to be asked - why am I seeing someone who has different core beliefs and values than i do? あなた do not ever need to feel bad about what あなた believe! And God tells us to wait for marriage to protect us and to provide for us! :) Not to take away our fun. Hang in there - I know it's tough now, but honey it is so worth it to spend your time and ハート, 心 with someone who shares your beliefs.
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posted 1年以上前 
coriann said:
if he doesn't respect your faith, doesn't respect that あなた don't want to have sex until marriage, if he can't live with that then it's probably a sign that あなた two don't belong together, because if あなた can't even agree on that, sorry to say but you're kind of screwed
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posted 1年以上前 
MineTurtle5 said:
Just tell him straight up. I he insists on having sex in order to be 'kept', he's not worth it.
I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth, and the truth is sometimes harsh
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posted 1年以上前 
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