i all ready posted a short intro of my book but no one has said anything so i've fixed it and hears a bit for you.
(please reply. i realy need to see if i can pull this off or not!)

"Qwen pulled out a moth eaten cloth from the box. underneath was a book. she had read many books over the years but the weird thing was they was nothing on the cover. she opened the book to find that it was witen in blood. dispite this she found hershelf reading the book cover to cover when her mother entered the room.

"Qwen, put that book away" she spotted that her mothers face was as pale as a sheet."

(chaper 1 page 3)

please tell me what you think
thanks.