Going to school the 次 日 was like shoving needles up my toenails. Everybody, and I mean everybody, was asking me about Lola, not even a bit sympathetic または caring towards how I felt about my best friend. All I knew was that I was one hundred percent ready to パンチ somebody's throat out from under their chin. After about, oh, the twelfth person asking me, "I hear your best friend died," I was so about to take a spin in my parents SUV into the Boston Harbor. I stopped talking before first period began.
Lunch was even worse; I shoved myself into a corner in the library, not even bothering to eat the turkey サンドイッチ I made myself and sat there crying, that is until I heard the door creek open and someone walking towards where I sat. I wiped my tears away from my cheek and the snot from my nose, trying to keep quiet so the person wouldn't hear me. I put my head in my knees and shut my eyes. I could hear the person rummaging around in a nearby book shelf when he turns the corner and his feet stop moving. I don't look up, I don't flinch, I don't even think I took a breath.
"Grace?" Tom asked, taking a tiny step forward, "Is that you?" he sits down in front of me.
"No, Tom, it's the クイーン of Sakeslavakia," I say sarcastically. "You idiot," I mumble.
"I'm really sorry. . ."
"Shut. Up." I yell into my knees.
He doesn't say anything, actually obeying what I said, one in a million I guess. That is until he decided to speak; "I know how あなた must feel. . ." I look up from my knees;
"No あなた don't! あなた do not know how I feel. Your best friend didn't just up and die a week 前 now did he? No! Mine did, and it's not just that, stupid damn Starky ヒバリ, ラーク is contributing to my depression. あなた are, Nick is." I mumble.
"Me? What did I do?" he asks; I can feel his hand moving up to mine. I quickly pull away before he touches me.
"Don't touch me," I spit through my teeth.
"Grace?" he asks, almost hurt and he should be. "Why are あなた being hostile with me?"
"Because Tom, あなた are the last thing I talked about with Lola. You're the reason I wasn't there in the car with her. We were fighting over あなた and that's why I didn't get to say goodbye," I say, tears flowing down my face and my voice cracking.
"Why were あなた arguing over me?" he asks.
"Because, Tom," I start, looking away from his eyes, "we both liked you, emphasis on liked," I push, "and we both wanted あなた and we supposedly had this rule that neither of us could have あなた and she though I was taking あなた away from her. I almost cussed her out," I say, going back in the memory, "and then I abruptly left and never talked to her after that," I say, looking up at him. His lips are opened into an O shape and his eyes bugged out. I almost start laughing but then I realize that this isn't a laughing matter. "Yeah, okay, so now あなた know Tom," I say, wiping my tears with my sleeve. I サークル, 円 my arms around my knees and turn my head to the side so he won't see my tears. He touches my shoulder and I don't tell him to 移動する it.
"I'm sorry the last thing that あなた discussed with Lola was me," he says, his voice almost sympathetic, "I really, truly am."
I rigidly turn my head towards him, letting the tears stream down, "don't give me that shit!"
"Whoa! あなた don't have to be so hostile," he says, offensively.
His hand lifts from my shoulder, finally. I stand up, so I don’t look like the smaller person here.
"Don't tell me what to do, Tom Redstun. あなた can't tell me what to do," I say, nearly sobbing.
He walks over to me, slowly; his legs moving terribly slow as his body is just a centimeter away from mine when he wraps his arms around my shoulders and rests his chin on 上, ページのトップへ of my head. The only thing I can do is let him hold me. I'm crying so hard I can't talk, I can barely breath. I don't ラップ my arms around him in return; I just let his arms fold around me until the ベル rang. I was half asleep there, in his arms, standing up when I screamed hoarsely through my dry mouth in his ear. He pulled back from me, but with his arms still around my body.
He laughed a light, short, laugh. "Did that scare you?" he whispered, his lips on my ear.
I laughed with him and wiped my tear stained face. I opened my eyes and he was starring down at me. I can feel the lust in the moment; the sexual tension. And when his face comes closer, I can't stop myself from letting his lips cover mine. I even pull my arms up around his neck. His left hand moves down my side and to the small of my back. That's when the 秒 ベル rings. He continues to キッス me, but I pull away from him.
"What was that?" I whimper. He doesn't speak, he only looks at me with those big, blue eyes; What a terrible way to seduce a person. "Why don't we skip class and go some place?" I ask, pulling on his arms.
"Like where?" he asks in my ear.

"So, why did あなた like me?" Tom asks, his naked body wrapped around my nearly as naked body. My head resting on his chest with his fingers laced through my hair; the exact same way Nick and I laid together so many times before him.
"Shut up, Tom," I murmur, softly. Kindlier than I was in the library.
"Whatever あなた say, Grace," he agrees, completely swerving the argument this time.
"Smart man," I mumble, my eyes closing slowly.
"What'd あなた say, hun?" he asks, gradually swiping his fingers down my back and back to my head, taking his sweet time.
"Nothing that concerns you," I grumble at him.
"Okay," he says, his fingers almost completely stopping but then 移動する again. "What is your problem, Grace? I just gave あなた everything I had and あなた treat me like . . . like shit," he says; the first time I've ever heard him cuss.
"I'm sorry, Tom," I say, as sincere as I can, since I just took his virginity, I guess I should be a little apologetic towards him.
"I mean, really, Grace," he starts, his voice cracking. "Aren't あなた just a little remorseful about that?" he asks.
I think of what to say, I mean, I guess it's because the guy that took my virginity wasn't an asshole about it, so it wasn't such a big deal. But me taking someone else's virginity is another story in it's self and I am remorseful about having sex with Tom, but he took time from me away from Lola, so taking his innocence, is kinda like pay back.
"Are you?"
He takes a deep breath that I felt もっと見る than I heard and then another one before he starts talking; "I like you, Grace, and when あなた 発言しました あなた liked me, my ハート, 心 fell out my chest. But now, with あなた lying in my arms, I don't know what to feel. I feel like I've been deprived of . . ."
"Your innocence?" I cut him off.
"Yeah. And that あなた don't even care," he pauses. "I mean, don't あなた feel like something been taken away from あなた too?"
I don't want to hurt this guy's feelings but I have too, "I'm sorry, Tom, but I . . . you'll have to put up with me some more, I mean, if あなた want to," I lie.
"What do あなた mean?" he asks, confused.
"I um - I want あなた to be my boyfriend," I utter, not sure what I'm saying, why I'm saying it because Nick's my boyfriend - to an extend at least. "I mean, I - I didn't mean that," I try, already knowing I made him entirely confused.
"Grace?" he asks, voice cracking, high pitched. "Are you, are あなた serious?" he asks, so happy, so thrilled it nearly kills me.
What can I say? I can't tell him no after saying that. I can't hurt his feelings, but I can, I just have to say it. I don't want to hurt Nick's feelings, but I'd rather hurt Tom than Nick. And I know if he ever finds out, we'll be over, I'll be over. Everything I know, everything I have, will be over, dunzo.
I'm screwed.
"I don't know, Tom," I mumble.
He heaves a heavy sigh, "Your leaving me on edge, Grace. Just tell me, please. あなた won't hurt my feelings," he says, although I know I will.
"I . . . I don't know why I 発言しました that, I'm sorry, I didn't really mean it," I say, very fast and almost a whisper.
"Then why'd あなた have sex with me?" he asks, moving his body from under me.
"Because it was in the moment," I avert his gaze.
"Because it was in the moment? Grace!" he yells.
"Hey, あなた could still be a virgin!" I yell back.
"I'd rather be a virgin that to be used and thrown away!"
"Oh . . . my . . . God." I mutter, hand covering my mouth. "We didn't use a condom," I whisper.
"So," he says, shaking his head, not caring at all.
"You bastard! I could be pregnant!" I yell, jumping up from the bed.
"It's your fault," he grumbles.
"My fault? What the fuck are あなた talking about Tom? How the hell. . ." I trail, knowing I'm wasting my breath, which this isn't going to get to him. "You know what?" I say, pulling my clothes on as he sits there watching me at his own pleasure. "This is my fault, all my fault, because I'm the one who seduced you. I'm the one who wanted to get in your pants. But あなた know what, I definitely am the one whose friend just died and am not getting any condolences from you. And, I'm also the one who's leaving now, hoping to never see your ugly, fucking face again," I say, storming from his room to the cold, winter-weaving weather outside.
I realize now that I don't have a car to drive ホーム in and that I left my cell phone in Tom's bedroom. So, as much as I don't want to see his zit-ridden face, I have to go back inside if I want to get out of here. I don't even bother knocking, I just traipse back in and to his room where he's still sitting on the bed, the exact way I left him.
"Left my phone," I mumble, reaching for it on the bedside table.
He doesn't look up, doesn't 移動する または flinch as I retrieve my phone and saunter out of the room again, Nick on the other end of my cell the moment I step out into the pouring rain.
"Gracie," he says, the moment he answers. "What's wrong baby?"
"Could あなた pick me up?" I ask, feeling so small and useless.
"Um. I'm at work, but I think I can スイング it," he tries.
"Oh, no, Nick if your busy then . . ."
"I'm nearly off the job, so it's fine," he assures me. "Where あなた at Grace?"
"Uhm, 23rd West Victorian and K Street," I say, lifting my フード up.
"Okay, I'm coming."