It was a beautiful 日 in Equestria. 虹 Dash, Applejack, and Rarity were sitting at a restaurant having lunch.
Applejack: Well, thanks あなた two for helping out at my farm.
虹 Dash: No problem.
Rarity: There was no problem for me either, except for...
Applejack: Yes?
Rarity: Dirt.
虹 Dash: That's nothing to worry about. Besides, if あなた get it on you, あなた can just wash it off.
Applejack: I'm surprised あなた didn't wear that farming outfit あなた made when Trenderhoof was visiting.
Rarity: Oh yeah, about that...
Yesterday at Carousel Botique
Sweetie Belle: *Wearing Rarity's farming outfit* Howdy y'all. I'm Rarity, and I'm gonna pretend to be a farmer just to impress this stallion!
Applebloom & Scootaloo: *Laughing*
Sweetie Belle: あなた know, it's actually not easy to see in this thing. I got a better idea. Let's modify it so that it will fit us!
Back at the lunch.
Rarity: And while they were making it shorter, Sweetie Belle somehow ended up setting it on fire.
Applejack: How is that possible?
虹 Dash: Fireplace?
Rarity: Fireplace.
Gilda: *Arrives* こんにちは 虹 Crash. Still hanging out with these lame ponies?
虹 Dash: They're not lame! They're my friends.
Rarity: And her name is 虹 Dash.
Gilda: Whatever. I ストール, 盗んだ $1,000,000 from this rich stallion in Vanhoover, and got this awesome gem. The owner 発言しました it had some power, but I don't know what it does. Shall I try it out on you?
虹 Dash: No.
Gilda: Fine. I'll try it out on the three of あなた then. *Uses magic gem*
The gem teleported them into a grassy field. Nothing could be seen except for a faraway mountain, and some trees.
Gilda: Wait a minute.
Applejack: What the hay? *Looking around* Where are we?
Gilda: I don't know. This thing just ended up-
All of a sudden, a message started appearing into the ground.
The user of this gem has challenged あなた to a war. If あなた defeat the user, あなた may go home.
Gilda: Oh, so that's what it does.
Rarity: あなた never knew that until now?
Gilda: Well, the owner barely told me anything about the gem!
Two days ago.
Store owner: Remember, this gem can teleport you, and your enemies to any part of the past. The winner gets to go back into the present, but they have to kill their enemies first.
Now Gilda remembered.
Gilda: Oh. Looks like I remember now. We have to fight each other.
虹 Dash: Fine with me.
British Soldiers: *Arrive* Halt. What are あなた four doing here?
Gilda: Umm....
British Soldier: あなた four are underarrest.
Theme song: link
So the four of them got arrested, and were on a ship in sea.
Gilda: Where are we going?
British Soldier: To the United States of Equestria.
Applejack: What 年 is this?
British Soldier: 1745.
Rarity: あなた know what this means?
虹 Dash: We're in medieval times.
STH Productions Presents
Just Be Me
Episode 1: The Three Maresketeers
Based off of the video によって AgrolChannel on youtube.
Starring
虹 Dash
アップルジャック, applejack
and Rarity
Also starring
The ponies
Princess Celestia
Lord Burlington
Arhcer
Silver
Kan Can
Jerry
Pete
Applebloom
Sweetie Belle
Scootaloo
Also starring the Griffons
Gilda
Max
Tomtom
Porter
Lucifer
McKing
And Mike
And stop the music.
Applejack, Gilda, 虹 Dash, and Rarity were brought into the docks of Ponyville on the ship they were put on.
British Soldier: Now don't come back to our country ever again あなた Equestrian scum.
Rarity: But I'm British too!
British Soldier: *Ignores Rarity* Let's go captain. We got everything we need.
British Captain: *Driving ship out of docks*
Jerry: *Sees Gilda* Griffon!!
Gilda: *Flies away*
Celestia's Soldiers: *Running towards Jerry*
Jerry: She's getting away.
虹 Dash: What's going on?
Jerry: あなた didn't hear? The griffons have waged war against us ponies. Their kingdom is near ours, and we cannot allow them to take any peice of our territory.
Applejack: What happens if they do?
Jerry: We kill them.
Rarity: Nngh. Isn't there a peaceful way to settle this?
Applejack: *Slaps Rarity* No! We have to kill them.
Jerry: *Looking at Applejack* I like your style, but あなた ladies are not allowed to fight.
虹 Dash, Applejack: What?!!?
Rarity: Well, I wouldn't want to fight anyway.
Applejack: Are あなた saying that we're not allowed to fight due to our gender?!
虹 Dash: I've dealt with many stereotypical situations, but this is crazy!
Jerry: I don't make the rules ma'am, あなた have to talk to Princess Celestia about this.
Applejack: Princess Celestia?
Rarity: She banished Princess Luna 800 years ago.
虹 Dash: Oh, right. Take us to her please.
Jerry: If あなた insist.
So Jerry, and a few other soldiers took them to Celestia's 城 in Canterlot.
Celestia: How dare those griffons attempt to attack us. They will realize their clumsy decision will give them nothing, but pain.
Soldier 24: Right-o your highness.
Jerry: *Arrives* Princess, visitors.
Celestia: What do they want to talk about?
虹 Dash: Hi Celestia.
Celestia: Who are you?
虹 Dash: あなた mean あなた don't remember?
Applejack: Take it easy Dash. I'm Applejack, this is 虹 Dash, and the white unicorn is Rarity.
Celestia: What do あなた want to talk about?
虹 Dash: Why can't mares fight? You're a princess, あなた should be giving us equal rights.
Celestia: It is not my decision on who gets to fight, または not. あなた must talk to Lord Burlington.
Applejack: Jerry 発言しました we had to talk to you.
Jerry: Uh.. I forgot?
Celestia: Take them to Lord Burlington.
Jerry: Yes your highness.
Rarity: Lord Burlington?
虹 Dash: I wonder what he's like.
They were soon about to find out.
Lord Burlington: *Sitting in big red chair* What do those griffons have planned?
Pete: We don't know. They could do anything.
Lord Burlington: Then we must warn everypony immediately. If those griffons try to-
Jerry: *Enters room* Sir, three ponies want to talk to you.
Lord Burlington: What do あなた want?
虹 Dash: The three of us want to fight in this war.
Lord Burlington: あなた three? *Laughing* This is an outrage. No mare is capable of fighting.
Rarity: He's right, so why don't we go home?
Lord Burlington: Yes. Go home, and get back to working where あなた belong.
Applejack: Oh yeah? *Grabs axe, and throws it at Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: *Ducks, and doesn't get hit from axe. He then sees that it has stuck to his chair* Okay, you're in.
In the Griffon Kingdom, Gilda was meeting other griffons in her army.
Gilda: *Walks into castle* Hello?
Tomtom: Another griffon has arrived sir.
McKing: Ah, hello madam. What can I do for you?
Gilda: I need to 登録する your army in order to defeat the ponies.
McKing: Well, I don't think that's possible. あなた see-
Gilda: *Choking McKing* Let me join, または else.
McKing: *Coughing* Okay.
Gilda: That's もっと見る like it.
McKing: Meet some of my trusted soldiers. Over there is Tomtom.
Tomtom: Hi!
McKing: Over here is Max.
Max: Good 日 to あなた ma'am.
McKing: Porter.
Porter: Hello.
Gilda: Aren't あなた a little too fat to be in an army?
Porter: No, that's just so that it'll be difficult for any arrows to kill me. My stomach is so big, that it just reflects every ARROW/アロー shot towards me.
Gilda: I don't believe you.
Porter: Fine. *Stands up against wall*
Tomtom: *Gives Gilda a bow & arrow*
Porter: Now shoot my stomach.
Gilda: If あなた say so. *Shoots arrow*
The ARROW/アロー bounced right off of Porter's stomach.
Porter: Need I say more?
Gilda: No. You've convinced me.
McKing: Now if you're done shooting arrows at Porter's stomach, there are two others I want あなた to meet. Lucifer, who is an expert on cannons.
Lucifer: Right-o. If あなた need to know anything about a cannon, ask me.
Gilda: Sure.
McKing: And last, but not least is Mike.
Mike: Hey!
Gilda: Nice to meet you.
Mike: *Holding a toy tommy gun* I'm going to kill you.
McKing: Mike, how many times do I have to tell you, that thing will never work. Nopony would ever want this so called weapon.
Mike: Maybe not now, but they will within two hundred years from now.
McKing: Anything あなた say Mike.
After 虹 Dash, Applejack, and Rarity joined Lord Burlington's army, they went to meet other soldiers.
Lord Burlington: What are あなた going to do when we start attacking.
虹 Dash: Just being me.
Applejack: Yup. Same here.
Rarity: Me too.
Lord Burlington: What's that supposed to mean?
虹 Dash: You'll see when we start fighting.
Lord Burlington: Something tells me I don't want to see.
Applejack: We promise, having us in your army will be the greatest decision あなた ever made.
Lord Burlington: Why do I find that hard to believe. Well, here's a few of our soldiers あなた haven't met. Archer here is very skilled with a bow & arrow.
Archer: Nice to meet あなた three. I hope あなた don't plan on joining us anytime soon.
Lord Burlington: Easy Lieutenant. あなた won't be happy with what the オレンジ one plans on doing to あなた if あなた keep criticizing them about being here to help us stop those griffons.
Archer: Sorry sir. Anyway, my name is Archer. If あなた want to know anything about using a bow & arrow, come to me.
虹 Dash: Sure. *Sees golden arrows* That looks awesome.
Archer: あなた like that? I'll make some for あなた if you'd like.
虹 Dash: Yeah.
Applejack: *Sees Archer's eyes* How did your eyes become like that?
Archer: Long story, but to make it short, I killed a changeling when it bit my leg.
Lord Burlington: Okay ladies, follow me this way.
虹 Dash, Applejack, and Rarity: *Following Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: We have another expert named Silver. He's an expert on armor.
Rarity: *Giggling*
Lord Burlington: What's so funny?
Rarity: I have a friend who has a brother named Shining Armor.
Lord Burlington: That sounds like a stupid name. Hopefully, he doesn't get married to a princess.
Silver: *Walks over* The expert on armor that the lord was talking about is me.
Rarity: *Falling in 愛 with Silver*
Applejack: Uh oh.
虹 Dash: あなた remember what happened last time Rarity fell in 愛 with a stallion?
Applejack: Ngh. Don't remind me. She did the same thing to Big Macintosh.
虹 Dash: Ew.
Rarity: I heard あなた two!
Lord Burlington: Ladies, follow me.
The four of them went to see the expert on cannons, Kan Can.
Lord Burlington: Kan Can, stop working on that blasted weapon, and come to me.
Kan Can: *Under a cannon* Sorry sir, unfortunately, I got something in my eyes while working on this thing, and I can't see.
Lord Burlington: Just follow my voice.
Kan Can: Okay. *Bangs head on cannon*
Lord Burlington: You'll have to excuse him. He's a little... Clumsy.
虹 Dash: And あなた thought we wouldn't be good soldiers.
Applejack: *Notices that Kan Can has no tail* I don't trust him.
Rarity: Whyever not?
Applejack: He has no tail. Never trus-
虹 Dash: *Covers Applejack's mouth* Okay, remember what happened last time あなた 発言しました that?
Applejack: I ロスト my tail, and everypony made fun of me. Nopony ever lets me forget that.
Lord Burlington: And that's it. Welcome, and I hope あなた three enjoy working in my army.
But Rarity was still annoyed about 虹 Dash, and アップルジャック, applejack with talking about her behind her back. She had plans to find out why they did so.
That night, while everypony was asleep, Rarity was thinking about how to find out why 虹 Dash, and アップルジャック, applejack were talking about her behind her back.
Rarity: Hmm, I can't think of anything. They just talked about me falling in 愛 with Sliver, and probably... doing Rule 34 related stuff to him, but I don't care, that's just me. Wait a minute, I got it! They think I'm a Rule 34 addict, and that's why they were talking behind my back. *Goes out of her room to find 虹 Dash, and Applejack*
次 morning, Princess Celestia was having breakfast, when Lord Burlington arrived.
Lord Burlington: Princess, those three mares are not here.
Celestia: What do あなた mean?
Lord Burlington: They left! I knew they weren't good enough to be in this army.
Celestia: Perhaps they left to get もっと見る supplies.
But they didn't. While 虹 Dash, and アップルジャック, applejack were sleeping, Rarity kidnapped them, and put them in a nearby tower.
虹 Dash: *Wakes up* I'm feeling happy today, and- *Notices she's in a bag with Applejack* AJ? Wake up!
Applejack: *Wakes up* Is it time to collect apples? I'm on it Big Mac.
虹 Dash: No! It's me 虹 Dash. We're stuck together in a bag, and I don't know why.
Applejack: *Realizes she is in a terrible situation* Why are we in a bag?
Rarity: Because I put あなた in there.
虹 Dash: Why?
Rarity: Because あなた 発言しました bad things about me behind my back. What were they?
Applejack: It was nothing.
虹 Dash: We were just talking about how あなた were going to mas-
Applejack: *Slaps 虹 Dash* Not here. We'll get punished for saying things like that.
虹 Dash: Then let's get out of here.
Applejack: But we have to kill Gilda first.
虹 Dash: Why don't we kill Rarity first?
Applejack: Well. Now that あなた think about it...
Rarity: oh no.
Applejack: She did tie us up into this bag for no reason, so let's kill her.
Rarity: No! *Teleports from tower to ground*
The other two ponies got out of the bag, and looked for Rarity.
虹 Dash: She's gone.
Applejack: It's all your fault!
虹 Dash: My fault? I was literally the only one trying to get us out!
Applejack: I helped!
虹 Dash: Barely! *Flies out of tower, and goes to another tower*
Rarity: 虹 Dash, what are あなた doing?
Applejack: *Shoots ARROW/アロー at 虹 Dash*
The ARROW/アロー hit the wall, and was stuck between two bricks.
虹 Dash: Nice try Applejackass! *Shoots 大砲, キャノン at Applejack*
Applejack: *Ducks* あなた missed!
Rarity: I must stop them. *Sees another tower, then runs into it* I must stop them before they kill each other.
虹 Dash, and アップルジャック, applejack were now shooting flaming arrows at each other.
虹 Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming ARROW/アロー at the same time*
虹 Dash: Stop making your ARROW/アロー hit my arrow!
Applejack: I will when あなた stop!
虹 Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming ARROW/アロー at the same time*
Rarity: *Gets to the 上, ページのトップへ of her tower, and sees fight* They're not even hitting each other. *Grabs cannon*
虹 Dash: Hey, Rarity's pointing a 大砲, キャノン at us!
Applejack: Us? She's pointing it at me! *Shoots flaming ARROW/アロー at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the ARROW/アロー into a shiny fork* A few more, and then I can have a lovely dinner.
虹 Dash: *Shoots flaming ARROW/アロー at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the ARROW/アロー into a shiny spoon* One もっと見る ARROW/アロー please. I insist!
虹 Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming ARROW/アロー at Rarity at the same time*
Rarity: *Stops both arrows, and turns both of them into a shiny plate* Are あなた finished?
And so, they stopped fighting, and walked back to Celestia's castle.
After 虹 Dash, Applejack, and Rarity fought each other, they went back to Celestia's castle.
Celestia: What happened?
Lord Burlington: Where did あなた three go?
虹 Dash: Rarity kidnapped us for no reason.
Rarity: My reason, was because あなた were talking about me behind my back.
Applejack: That's a dumb reason.
Lord Burlington: I agree with the オレンジ one.
Rarity: Why? Doesn't anyone agree with me?
Applejack: あなた planned on doing something horrible to Silver.
Lord Burlington: What did she have planned?
Rarity: Nothing.
虹 Dash: Oh あなた had something planned alright. What was it?
Rarity: Nnnnhhhh. Something related to innapropriate material that isn't allowed to be mentioned, but is being mentioned anyway, because I'm a Sex Addict!
Celestia, and Lord Burlington's mouth dropped open, and fell on the floor.
Rarity: Oh shit.
Celestia: She's a sex addict?
虹 Dash: We prefer the term rule 34. Now, let us talk to Rarity alone.
Celestia, & Lord Burlington: *Leaving the room*
Applejack: Okay, they're gone.
虹 Dash: What the fuck were あなた thinking?
Rarity: I was nervous!
Applejack: Don't あなた realize that they could execute あなた for being addicted to sex?
Rarity: No. *Thinking* Oh, right. We're in mideival times.
虹 Dash: And we're stuck in mideival times, until we kill Gilda. Now, we can't do that if あなた get us executed for being a rule 34 addict.
Rarity: I'm the one being executed, not you.
Applejack: Let's just get this over with.
Celestia: *Returns* I heard the entire conversation.
虹 Dash: あなた did?
Applejack: But あなた were-
Celestia: In another room with Lord Burlington, yes I know. So you're from the future, and can't get back there until あなた kill this griffon named Gilda. Is that correct?
虹 Dash: Yeah.
Celestia: Then I will explain everything to Lord Burlington, and the both of us will help.
Rarity: Thank you.
Celestia: No problem.
Things seemed to be getting easier for Applejack, 虹 Dash, and Rarity. But the fight was about to start soon.
Everypony at Celestia's 城 was ready for the fight, as the Griffons were getting close to attacking them.
Lord Burlington: Get the cannons ready!
Celestia: Get the cannons ready.
Kan Can: Get the cannons ready. *Getting 大砲, キャノン ready, but accidentally falls off of the castle*
Lord Burlington: Anymore clumsy ponies like him, and we'll never win.
虹 Dash: At least あなた got us.
Lord Burlington: Yeah. What was it あなた three 発言しました あなた were going to do to win this war?
虹 Dash: Just.
Applejack: Be.
Rarity: Me.
Gilda: Load up the catapults!
Griffons: *Loading up catapults*
Archer: They're 読み込み中 the catapults sir.
Lord Burlington: 火災, 火 the cannons!
Ponies: *Shooting cannons*
Griffons: They're firing cannons at us!
Gilda: Shoot those rocks at them.
Griffons: *Shooting rocks with catapults*
Some of the rocks were hitting some of the bombs shot によって cannons, and a few mid air explosions occurred.
Archer: With your permission, my archery team will take them down.
Lord Burlington: Archers, ready.
Archer, and other ponies carrying bow & arrows: *Readying bows*
Lord Burlington: Aim.
Archery Ponies: *Pulling back arrows*
Lord Burlington: Fire!
Archery Ponies: *Firing arrows at griffons*
虹 Dash: What about us?
Lord Burlington: あなた three must put on armor, get a sword, and shield.
Rarity: Are we... *Gulp* Fighting them out there?
Lord Burlington: Yes あなた are Miss. I 愛 mas*****ting to stallions I barely know. Get out there.
Applejack: Let's do this.
So the three ponies went to get what they needed.
Griffon 4: *Gets killed によって arrow*
Gilda: Use your shield あなた careless saps!
Griffons: She's right. Use the shields.
Tomtom: You're a good leader.
Gilda: Yeah, I know.
McKing: Ma'am, we're getting もっと見る casualties.
Gilda: How is this possible? We should be winning.
Tomtom: Maybe, because we're outnumbered.
McKing: Hey, you're right. Where's Mike?
Lucifer: I don't see him.
Mike was at their castle, modifying his toy tommy gun.
Mike: Yes. This is good. Now I'll 表示する the others that I mean business with this. Look out everypony. *Grabs toy tommygun* I'm going to kill you.
Back at the battle.
虹 Dash: This is gonna be so awesome.
Rarity: Awesome? We're going to die.
Applejack: No we're not. We're going to win.
虹 Dash: Charge! *Charges towards Griffons*
アップルジャック, applejack & Rarity: *Following 虹 Dash*
Gilda: There they are.
McKing: Shoot them.
Griffons: *Shooting arrows at 虹 Dash, Applejack, and Rarity* It's not working. Our arrows keep hitting their armor.
Porter: They're not even slowing down.
虹 Dash: *Raises sword* Yeah!!
Gilda: Oh god.
虹 Dash: *Stabs Porter's stomach*
Porter: *Feels sword hit stomach*
虹 Dash: Wait a minute.. *Gets sent flying backwards due to the impact on Porter's stomach*
Porter: I told あなた it was a good thing to be fat.
Applejack: *Cuts Porter's head off with sword*
Gilda: Yeah. *Grabs sword* あなた ready to "Square dance" redneck?
Applejack: *Swings sword at Gilda*
Rarity: *Kills two griffons* I can't believe I'm doing this. It's so unladylike.
Gilda: *Continues swordfight with Applejack*
Applejack: *Kicks griffon, then jumps up in air*
Gilda: *Swings sword*
Applejack: *Blocks attack*
McKing: Tomtom, help Gilda defeat that オレンジ pony.
Tomtom: Yes sir.
虹 Dash: *Returns, and kills Tomtom* Did あなた miss me?
Rarity: Yes.
Applejack: Practically. *Gets kicked によって Gilda*
虹 Dash: Hey! Nopony does that to my friend!
Gilda: What are あなた going to do about it?
虹 Dash: Just be me.
Gilda: What?
虹 Dash: *Hits Gilda with sword*
Lord Burlington: *Watching fight* This is great. Does anypony have popcorn?
Celestia: What is that?
Lord Burlington: It's... Never mind.
The fight continued, and Gilda was getting beat によって 虹 Dash.
McKing: Can anypony help Gilda?
Gilda: Why can't あなた help me?
McKing: Because I have to give orders to the griffons killing those ponies.
Gilda: Well hurry up so that あなた can help me!
虹 Dash: *Hits Gilda's wing*
Applejack: *Killing griffons*
Rarity: *Hiding under bridge* I shouldn't be fighting....
虹 Dash: *Continues fighting Gilda*
Gilda: *Blocking attacks*
McKing: Max, how many soldiers do we have left?
Max: Only twelve.
McKing: Then キャンセル the attack on the castle. We must help Gilda.
Applejack: *Kills McKing*
Lucifer: Our boss is dead!
Max: But he wasn't our boss. It's Gilda.
Lucifer: Oh.
The sword fight was getting intense.
虹 Dash: *Blocking Gilda's attacks*
Applejack: Need any help RD?
虹 Dash: No, just keep those other griffons off my back.
Applejack: あなた got it. *Kills griffons*
Rarity: *Continues hiding under a bridge*
Applejack: Rarity, where are you?!
Rarity: *Stay silent*
Applejack: I think they killed her. She'll have to stay here for the rest of her life.
Rarity: *Comes out from under bridge* I'm here, don't leave without me!
Applejack: We weren't.
Gilda: *Punches 虹 Dash*
虹 Dash: *Has her ヘルメット fall off* That can't be good.
Gilda: *Punches 虹 Dash again*
虹 Dash: Oh! *Her nose starts to bleed*
Rarity: Leave Dashie alone!!
Applejack: Don't worry about her. She's gonna die if we don't kill the other griffons.
Rarity: Then in that case, Hya! *Using karate moves to attack griffons*
Applejack: Couldn't have 発言しました it better myself.
虹 Dash: *Pushing her sword against Gilda's*
Gilda: When are あなた going to give up?
虹 Dash: I don't know what that means so I'll never do it. *Draws back sword quickly, then hits Gilda's back legs*
Gilda: Ah! *Falls on ground*
Applejack: *Kills the last griffon* Now, we need to kill Gilda.
虹 Dash: With pleasure. *About to kill Gilda*
Gilda: *Closes her eyes*
Then, the sound of twenty bullets being shot from a tommygun could be heard.
Gilda: *Dies*
虹 Dash: *Looks at Mike*
Mike: *Carrying toy tommygun, and looks at Gilda* I told ya I was going to kill you.
虹 Dash: But this is 1745. 銃 aren't supposed to exist yet.
Mike: But I killed Gilda.
Applejack: But, you're on the same side as her.
Mike: So? She didn't think this invention of mine would work.
Rarity; What are あなた going to call it?
Mike: Hmm, I don't know. I think I'll call it Thomas.
虹 Dash: How about the Tommygun?
Mike: Hey, that's a brilliant idea.
Then all of a sudden, Rarity, 虹 Dash, and アップルジャック, applejack started to be lifted slowly up into the air, and then they dissapeared.
Carousel Botique, August 8, 2014.
Rarity: *Appears with 虹 Dash, and Applejack*
Sweetie Belle: Rarity, where have あなた three been?
Rarity: Playing with my friends.
Sweetie Belle: Oh. Applebloom, and Scootaloo went ホーム already, so would あなた like to play with me?
Rarity: Of course darling.
虹 Dash: Well, I guess there's no sense in us staying here anymore.
Applejack: Nope. *Leaves Carousel Botique with 虹 Dash*
The End
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