"We Framed Roger Rabbit": An Interview with the Toon Patrol
"Transcript"- Archives of the Los Angeles Chronicle.
Interviewer: Adam Paczovsky, reporter for the Los Angeles Chronicle
Interviewee (s): The weasels known as "The Toon Patrol"- Smart-ass (SA), Greasy (G), Wheezy (W), Psycho (P) and Stupid (S)
Interview location: The conference room of the Toontown Historical Society, Sunday August 16th 1987, 11:00 AM.
AP: So, boys… あなた five are the secondary antagonists in Touchstone's/ Disney's "Who Framed Roger Rabbit". Do あなた wanna tell me how all this started?
SA: How /what/ started, chump: Our 芝居 career または The Toon Patrol? あなた gotta be もっと見る pacific!
*weasels laughing*
AP: I meant your 芝居 in the movie, but I guess it'll be good to hear how /you/ guys started. Where and when were あなた drawn?
W: Do あなた mind if I take a cigarette break?
AP: Er… sure. But didn't あなた just have one… または three, rather, a few 分 ago?
W:…Maybe. What's it to you?
SA: Go ahead. /I'll/ be doing most of the talking anyway.
AP: Okay, so…the big question: who /did/ frame Roger Rabbit?.
P: We did! *giggles insanely*
SA: First, あなた gotta understand that this'll repeal some of the plot of the movie.
AP: It's fine. I won't be putting everything into the article.
SA: Fine then. Well, we was drawn to life in June of 1941 for work on "The Wind in the Willows"-
AP: As in "The Adventures of Ichabod クレーン and Mr. Toad"?
SA: Yeah, that's right. Found out a few weeks 前 that it was released two years after we got killed. Now before あなた ask how that's possible, あなた gotta remember that Toons are actors, and just like humans, 映画 get delayed!
AP: Got it. This is all new to me. I've heard of Toontown, but I've never been there. あなた guys are actually the first Toons I've ever met. But, I'll keep that in mind.
G: /I/ can't believe that humans don't know the rules about Toons! It's only been 40 years and almost nobody has heard of Toontown in Los Angeles! Sad, ain't it, jefe?
SA: Crying shame! The newer Toons don't even know who we are.
AP: So why did your movie get delayed?
SA: It's like this: they needed to film the scenes with the イタチ thugs- us- and they had the movie finished and ready to be released in December of '41; and あなた dismember what happened /that/ month. The outbreak of the War was only one part though. There was a little…dissident that played a big part in delaying the film.
AP: What was it?
*door slamming*
W: I'm back! *coughs*
G: About time!
SA:…Yeah… anyway, on the sound stage 次 door to us, they were filming "Bambi", and Baron VonRotten -the Toon playing "Man", who was the chump that bumped off Bambi's mother- had a little abstinence on-set. Still don't know the whole story- he never told us. But he got knocked out and woke up believing he was a real villain.
AP: This was covered up? によって Disney?
SA: Yeah. It wouldn't be the first on-set dissident that ディズニー had to cover up, we hear. But I can't neither 確認 または deny that.
G: I heard that he disappeared into Toontown's underground after that. Then he reappeared all of a sudden and robbed the First National Bank of Toontown and ストール, 盗んだ a zillion simoleons. Pretty shortly after that, we was approached によって the Judge. This was early in '42. He had just bought the election for Judge of Toontown. Paid for it with a zillion simoleons.
AP: Are あなた implying that this VonRotten guy was Judge Doom, Christopher Lloyd's character?
G: We ain't saying nada, amigo.
W: We gotta. This is a d # ed interview, あなた schmuk!
SA: Wheezy's right, Greasy. The chump wants to know the whole story, so let's let him hear it!
*Psycho and Stupid giggle*
SA: Yeah, VonRotten was Judge Doom. We didn't know about any of this until we was re-drawn a couple of days ago.
AP: What happened? How did あなた guys die?
SA: Well, do あなた know the plot of the movie?
AP: No.
SA: Basically, the Judge wanted to destroy Toontown to build a freeway. We was in on it, being his hench-weasels and all. We made Roger Rabbit the patsy in this and framed him for the murder of Marvin Acme, the guy that owned Toontown, and had Eddie Valiant- Bob Hoskins' character- going in circles trying to figure out what happened! It was the funniest thing!
*Weasels laugh maniacally*
SA: And… how he killed us was like this: Valiant did a song and dance bit that had us rolling on the floor. These mugs died laughing while /he/ kicked me into a vat of Dip.
AP: What is this Dip stuff?
P: *Giggles* Dip's the stuff we used to kill Toons!
W: It's a mix of paint thinners. It dissolves a Toon instantly! Doom used it publically a lot, like when he dipped that gopher in the Acme factory.
P: They changed it in the movie to a Toon shoe. I liked the gopher better! あなた could hear the gopher pleading and shrieking!...
SA: So Doom killed old man Acme and we framed it on Roger Rabbit. And we ain't telling あなた no もっと見る than that: you'll have to see the movie if あなた wanna know how we did it!
G: Ohhh! I remember that night like it was yesterday! Doom had us 検索 for Marvin Acme's will when we had Valiant and Jessica Rabbit tied up, and /I/ personally frisked her!¡Qué una mujer!¡Tetas que entran enla habitación antes que ella!
SA: Yeah, and when あなた copped your feel, あなた got a leg trap stuck on your hand!
*Stupid guffaws*
G: It was still the best night of my life, jefe!
AP: Smartass is right. Maybe I'd better see what happens in the film. If it's as funny as あなた say, I'd like to find out for myself. Why don't あなた five tell me もっと見る about what あなた did for Judge Doom?
SA: Never thought you'd ask! Well, first, we gotta explain the rest of the Judge's backstory. He was nuts, yeah, but a genius. He also dropped the ピアノ that killed Eddie's brother, Teddy. He offered us a job and we took it. All seven of us.
AP: I thought there were only five of you?
SA: Well, yeah. They broke from the group in '45. Our brothers, Slimy and Flasher weren't seeing eye to eye with the Judge, so they quit. They're still alive. We don't talk to them no more.
AP: And the movie's set in 1947, right?
W: Yeah. 40 years 前 today, actually. Acme was killed the 15th, and Doom and us got killed at around midnight on the 16th.
SA: So what happened to start it all was the fact that we /hated/ Disney. Walt drove us like slaves! He even made us wear these ugly costumes for the film. あなた do /not/ come between me and my suit! That's when we knew that 芝居 wasn't for us.
SA: *fainter* If this 次 bit gets out, we'll personably make sure that your interview with us never gets out! This is private and we don't want it known.
AP: It won't leave this room. I swear!
SA: The truth is, we miss the time we spent with Doom. He changed our lives! We weren't meant for acting.
G: あなた have to understand, hombre… あなた don't know what went on back then in the アニメーション studios. They worked us to the bone!
S: But, Greasy! We don't have bones!
SA: We might not have bones, Stupid, but you're /still/ a bonehead!
*Weasels laugh*
SA: Anyway…We had a chance to be もっと見る than two-bit actors resigned to be slaves to Disney. あなた couldn't- and あなた still can't- get your contract signed over to another studio. Once you're drawn によって Disney, you're owned によって ディズニー for life! So what we did was quit and showed Disney… Hell, we was gonna 表示する all of Toontown who あなた don't push a Toon over the limit!
G: I remember those five happy years. Dipping Toons… the salary… our car!
P: Dipping Toons was /my/ お気に入り part! *Psycho giggles*
SA: We broke the idea that Toons are JUST reposed to be actors または entertainers または waiters! We had a job, a job that woulda gone to a human, and it our salary was paid によって the great City of Angels!
AP: あなた mean あなた had human money?
W: Yeah, but it was converted to simoleons. It wasn't much, but we were richer than even the better-paid Toons.
S: I…uh… I remember the car! The city gave us the car, right boss?
SA: Yeah! The car was a official car from the city. Even had the city's シール on it, and an "Exempt" plate so we wouldn't get pulled over によって human cops.
AP: What was your job, really? Like, what did あなた guys /do/ as the Toon Patrol?
G: Our jobs were- as the city papers defined it as- to be specialty agents in an "extraneous agency of the law designed, not affiliated with the current Toontown precinct, to detain any and all law-breaking Toons and レポート them to the Toontown Police Department または to the current chief jurist of Toontown, to be dealt with in full accordance of the law of the district under legal control of the City of Los Angeles, known as Toontown."
AP: That's impressive! Did あなた have all that memorized?
G: あなた better believe it, hombre! あなた don't forget something as pompous-sounding as that!*He chuckles*
SA: What we actually did was raids and retainments in a lot of Toon's homes. Any serious troublemakers were 与えられた a /real/ quick and speedy trial and then Dipped. The raids were always feared によって Toons. We'd burst into homes and examine the joint, looking for any sign of trouble. Doom even approved the signing of a law that banned soda pop!
W:It's the one human drink that Toons could handle without pulling that old "steam engine smoke-out-of-the-ears" bit. Alcohol usually does that, and that was left legal so Doom could charge them with disturbing the peace and Dip または jail them.
G: Bugs Bunny and Pepe LePew often threw lavish parties that we were 98% sure had soda pop shipped in from Los Angeles, and we raided their mansions often, but we never found so much as a drop! But we knew! We could smell it!
SA: When we made any arrests, the holding cell of our truck was packed full of criminal Toons! Those were the days… we controlled Toontown's underground. All the Toons respected and feared us, and now? They don't even know who we are!
AP: What do あなた intend to do once you're done with filming the movie?
W: We're almost done, and this time we actually have a good salary because this is a high budget film. But we don't have many job offers.
SA: He means that nobody'll hire us. All the old-guard Toons hate our guts. We have one offer as secretaries at T.P.D, and we think we'll take it. It's the one job that nobody wants to do because of the work, but it's the highest paying job there because of it.
AP: Why can't あなた just get work as actors?
SA: It's the same with a lot of Toons. Many of us are drawn for one specific role, and once our movie または テレビ program ends, they don't need us. But Toons like Bugs and Mickey… they can act as a bunch of characters. If あなた wanted to have a Toon movie version of "Gone With the Wind", あなた could get any one of the famous Toons as a lead.
S: But they don't like us! *Sniffles*
W: *Coughs* *Wheezes* It ain't that they don't like us! They just don't need us no もっと見る because they don't make anything with weasels in it anymore. That's where *wheezes* we woulda been if we never quit. We're type casted as thug weasels, so any time they need thug weasels, they would have had to call on us.
AP: But aren't there Toons that are character actors, and some that actually /are/ their characters? I heard that once.
SA: Yeah. It's like with Bugs または Mickey… あなた can have them act in a Toon version of any movie. They'll add their own personality to the role for the laugh, but they're character actors. But the Toons like Br'er 狐, フォックス and the Big Bad Wolf, they /are/ their characters. They're the Toons that don't make it.
AP: What happens to Toons that don't make it? Do あなた think that'll happen to you?
SA: Sometimes, forgotten Toons just disappear. Poof! Ever hear of Oswald the Lucky Rabbit?
AP: Who's that? Roger's father?
SA: Nah. He was a real early Toon. He was Mickey before Mickey was drawn! But he was fired によって ディズニー and displaced によって Mickey マウス in the late '20s.
AP: What happened to him?
SA: Nobody knows. His last movie was in the late '30s. I bet あなた gotta be b.o.f.f.i.n in ディズニー to know what happened to /him/.
AP: B.o.f.f.i.n?
SA: Slang from the War years. Means "Back office intelligence". "In-the-know", kinda. And you'll never guess what.
AP: What?
SA: Acme's will left Toontown to the Toons- that's why we wanted it, so the Toons wouldn't get no legal hold on Toontown so Doom could own it and destroy it- and we come back after pushing up daisies for 40 years to find that ディズニー now owns Toontown!
AP: What?!
W: Yeah! *Wheeze* ディズニー got the majority of Toons to sign over Toontown to them! Since the majority of Toons in Toowntown are ディズニー characters, it was majority rules! We're trying to get that changed. As much as we can't stand Toontown, none of us wanna see *Cough* /Disney/ in control of Toontown.
G: Put that in your article. We want the public knowing about this.
AP: Aside from that, what is Toontown like today?
SA: The part you'll see in the movie is called Old Toowntown today. Tons もっと見る Toons have been drawn, and neighborhoods are getting built every day. Lucky Toon physics can make Toontown as big as it needs to be, または it'd been over-populated long ago. The newest neighborhood they're planning is for a 表示する that ain't been released yet. Some badly-drawn family named Simpson are getting their own show. It'll never last.
AP: Are あなた worried about Toons being animated using computers? Pretty soon, hand-drawn アニメーション won't be used anymore, they're saying.
SA: Why should it? All Tonns have a ホーム in Toontown. That's what was put in Acme's will. Just about every Toon knows that be heart.
AP: How does Toontown today compare to what あなた knew in the '40s?
G: It's bigger… new-looking buildings that don't even have faces line some of the streets!
W: Nobody in New Toontown sings… though that's a good thing. If I have to hear "The Merry Go Round Broke Down" または "Hungarian Rhapsody" one もっと見る time I'll go nuts!
SA: There are also districts based on what era the Toons was drawn in; that's new. I hope in the '90s they change that.
AP: So… we've discussed how あなた were drawn, what あなた did for Doom, how あなた died, a little part of the movie's plot, and the current situation in Toontown..
SA: Any もっと見る questions, chump?
AP: Yeah. What do あなた think of the movie?
P: /I/ don't like the fact that we can't use real Dip!...But the man playing the Judge looks just like the real Judge!
SA: Mixed feelings, I repose…We hate the fact that we gotta re-exact our deaths- even if it's acting, it's still not fun- and the fact that they cut some of the funnier things that happened in the film. But we like the fact that people and Toons will know who we are again!
AP: What kind of funny things were cut out?
SA: Aside from our brothers that ain't even /mentioned/-
P: And the scene with the gopher!
SA: ….Yeeeahhh…. and that… also, the time we drew a Toon pig's head on Valiant, Judge Doom's mini-trials where he had a little bag he opened that had a jury box of kangaroos that always 発言しました the Toon was guilty-
G: A /literal/ カンガルー court!
SA: And Judge Doom's vulture, Voltaire. He did a lot of the dirty work for Doom ,too.
AP: I see. Do あなた recommend that people go and see the movie? Would あなた say it accurately represents what happened 40 years ago?
SA: Yeah. We want people to see the movie. Much as we hate being Disney's playthings again, it's still true to what really went down.
AP: What's production like? What do they do on stage and how is a Toon drawn?
SA: Production is…interesting. Most Toons have photographic memories, and they had the Toons who were there- us too- write most of the script. To make sure it was as close to what really happened as possible.
AP: But what about the Toons themselves? How does this blend of live action and アニメーション work? Why are there voice actors if あなた guys act the part live?
G: Toons sometimes need their voices changed, because with us older Toons, they start to fade- kind of like a worn out record. So if あなた hear names like Charles Fleischer and David Lander, they were some of los actores de vozfamosos that re-did some of the voices for the Toons. And they sometimes give the voices off-set when one of the Toons is sick または can't come to the studio that day, and they hand-animate some of them back in.
S: They use puppets, too! I like the puppets!
W: Yeah. They used a lot of puppets, especially during the scene in the Ink and Paint Club because the ペンギン waiters were on strike. They had a stage built, and the trays that they carried were… hold on… *coughs*… on sticks that the… puppeteers *Wheeze* controlled from beneath. Then the penguins were animated over that.
G: Charles Fleisher did mine and Psycho's vices for this film, in addition to Roger's. When we were re-drawn a few months ago, he matched our original voices.
AP: Who was your original voice actor?
G:Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha III. あなた may know him as Desi Arnaz.
AP: I never knew that!... But how is a Toon drawn to life? That's the one thing everyone will want to know.
W: They use *cough* a multiplane camera to animate a Toon. *Wheezes* It takes a picture of each frame of a Toon, または of a scene, and *Hacks* projects and animates it.
G: Foley artists are used to give a Toon sounds when they move, and voice actors give the Toon a voice. The rest is… a bit complicated. Nobody really understands cartoon physics.
SA: あなた got any もっと見る questions, bub? We gotta go soon.
AP: Yeah. Only a few. What does it feel like to be a Toon?
SA: What does it feel like to be a human, chump? We're just as alive as あなた are even though we're maid out of ink and paint!
G: We got weight, depth, and texture. We eat, we can drink and breathe-
W: And smoke.
G: And we can feel, too. Emotions. Pain. But not as much as humans do.
AP: I never thought about it like that. I hope that 質問 wasn't bigoted.
SA: It's fine. Nobody ever does. They just think of us as puppets. They expect Toons to entertain and act, and that's why we did what we did! We wanted to end that town and everything it stands for. Now we're stuck in the system all over again. Roger and Jessica Rabbit, too. They switched from Maroon カートゥーン to Disney. *Snorts* Big mistake. Now we're all in the same boat.
AP: Do あなた think that 20, 30 years from now this movie will still be popular? That they'll know who any of あなた are?
SA: There's no doubt they'll remember Jessica! What a hot トマト /she/ is! But us… unless ファン make us popular, I don't know what'll happen. It'll be the same as being Dipped only we'll be alive and kicking. Everybody hates the villains.
AP: I thought everybody loved a ディズニー villain. That whole "It's good to be bad" thing and all.
SA: Well…We /are/ bad. And we 愛 it! You'd better not forget it!
AP: Just one last 質問 before I end this session.. If あなた could change anything about yourselves and what happened, would you?
SA: Hell no! あなた know, kid, this little chat of ours made me realize we forgot what we really are; bad guys. I wouldn't change a thing!
AP: And あなた guys?
G: Nada, amigo. I'm happy with the way we are.
W: Nope.
S/P: Nu-uh!
SA: /I/ got one thing to say, though, before we vamoose.
AP: What is it?
SA: No matter what job we end up in, あなた all gotta know that we'll /always/ be the Toon Patrol, and nobody'd better forget that! This'll teach 'em not to rub us the wrong way.
AP: Is that some sort of threat aimed at… everybody?
SA: Take it whatever way あなた want, chump. Just know that we ain't gonna take nothing from nobody. We're gangsters with badges, and we're not gonna be pushed around によって the Big Wigs any more. Either they accept us in Toontown, または we find some way to 表示する 'em we mean business!
S: Yeah! We mean business! We're gonna open a bakery! Or…or maybe a car wash!
W: Oh, Stupid…. That ain't what the boss meant!
S: Oh… uhhh….. what kind of business did he mean, then, Wheezy?
SA: Never mind what I meant! It'll be scarier if we don't pacify what we meant!
*Chair scraping*
SA: Come on, boys! Let's am-scray! We have to be back at the studio at 1.
*Door opens. Slams*
AP: Thanks for letting me interview… you! And they're gone.
*Door Opens*
SA: Oh, believe me, kid… the pleasure was /all/ ours! *Laughs*
*Door slams* *Sound of glass breaking*
(End of interview)
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"Transcript"- Archives of the Los Angeles Chronicle.
Interviewer: Adam Paczovsky, reporter for the Los Angeles Chronicle
Interviewee (s): The weasels known as "The Toon Patrol"- Smart-ass (SA), Greasy (G), Wheezy (W), Psycho (P) and Stupid (S)
Interview location: The conference room of the Toontown Historical Society, Sunday August 16th 1987, 11:00 AM.
AP: So, boys… あなた five are the secondary antagonists in Touchstone's/ Disney's "Who Framed Roger Rabbit". Do あなた wanna tell me how all this started?
SA: How /what/ started, chump: Our 芝居 career または The Toon Patrol? あなた gotta be もっと見る pacific!
*weasels laughing*
AP: I meant your 芝居 in the movie, but I guess it'll be good to hear how /you/ guys started. Where and when were あなた drawn?
W: Do あなた mind if I take a cigarette break?
AP: Er… sure. But didn't あなた just have one… または three, rather, a few 分 ago?
W:…Maybe. What's it to you?
SA: Go ahead. /I'll/ be doing most of the talking anyway.
AP: Okay, so…the big question: who /did/ frame Roger Rabbit?.
P: We did! *giggles insanely*
SA: First, あなた gotta understand that this'll repeal some of the plot of the movie.
AP: It's fine. I won't be putting everything into the article.
SA: Fine then. Well, we was drawn to life in June of 1941 for work on "The Wind in the Willows"-
AP: As in "The Adventures of Ichabod クレーン and Mr. Toad"?
SA: Yeah, that's right. Found out a few weeks 前 that it was released two years after we got killed. Now before あなた ask how that's possible, あなた gotta remember that Toons are actors, and just like humans, 映画 get delayed!
AP: Got it. This is all new to me. I've heard of Toontown, but I've never been there. あなた guys are actually the first Toons I've ever met. But, I'll keep that in mind.
G: /I/ can't believe that humans don't know the rules about Toons! It's only been 40 years and almost nobody has heard of Toontown in Los Angeles! Sad, ain't it, jefe?
SA: Crying shame! The newer Toons don't even know who we are.
AP: So why did your movie get delayed?
SA: It's like this: they needed to film the scenes with the イタチ thugs- us- and they had the movie finished and ready to be released in December of '41; and あなた dismember what happened /that/ month. The outbreak of the War was only one part though. There was a little…dissident that played a big part in delaying the film.
AP: What was it?
*door slamming*
W: I'm back! *coughs*
G: About time!
SA:…Yeah… anyway, on the sound stage 次 door to us, they were filming "Bambi", and Baron VonRotten -the Toon playing "Man", who was the chump that bumped off Bambi's mother- had a little abstinence on-set. Still don't know the whole story- he never told us. But he got knocked out and woke up believing he was a real villain.
AP: This was covered up? によって Disney?
SA: Yeah. It wouldn't be the first on-set dissident that ディズニー had to cover up, we hear. But I can't neither 確認 または deny that.
G: I heard that he disappeared into Toontown's underground after that. Then he reappeared all of a sudden and robbed the First National Bank of Toontown and ストール, 盗んだ a zillion simoleons. Pretty shortly after that, we was approached によって the Judge. This was early in '42. He had just bought the election for Judge of Toontown. Paid for it with a zillion simoleons.
AP: Are あなた implying that this VonRotten guy was Judge Doom, Christopher Lloyd's character?
G: We ain't saying nada, amigo.
W: We gotta. This is a d # ed interview, あなた schmuk!
SA: Wheezy's right, Greasy. The chump wants to know the whole story, so let's let him hear it!
*Psycho and Stupid giggle*
SA: Yeah, VonRotten was Judge Doom. We didn't know about any of this until we was re-drawn a couple of days ago.
AP: What happened? How did あなた guys die?
SA: Well, do あなた know the plot of the movie?
AP: No.
SA: Basically, the Judge wanted to destroy Toontown to build a freeway. We was in on it, being his hench-weasels and all. We made Roger Rabbit the patsy in this and framed him for the murder of Marvin Acme, the guy that owned Toontown, and had Eddie Valiant- Bob Hoskins' character- going in circles trying to figure out what happened! It was the funniest thing!
*Weasels laugh maniacally*
SA: And… how he killed us was like this: Valiant did a song and dance bit that had us rolling on the floor. These mugs died laughing while /he/ kicked me into a vat of Dip.
AP: What is this Dip stuff?
P: *Giggles* Dip's the stuff we used to kill Toons!
W: It's a mix of paint thinners. It dissolves a Toon instantly! Doom used it publically a lot, like when he dipped that gopher in the Acme factory.
P: They changed it in the movie to a Toon shoe. I liked the gopher better! あなた could hear the gopher pleading and shrieking!...
SA: So Doom killed old man Acme and we framed it on Roger Rabbit. And we ain't telling あなた no もっと見る than that: you'll have to see the movie if あなた wanna know how we did it!
G: Ohhh! I remember that night like it was yesterday! Doom had us 検索 for Marvin Acme's will when we had Valiant and Jessica Rabbit tied up, and /I/ personally frisked her!¡Qué una mujer!¡Tetas que entran enla habitación antes que ella!
SA: Yeah, and when あなた copped your feel, あなた got a leg trap stuck on your hand!
*Stupid guffaws*
G: It was still the best night of my life, jefe!
AP: Smartass is right. Maybe I'd better see what happens in the film. If it's as funny as あなた say, I'd like to find out for myself. Why don't あなた five tell me もっと見る about what あなた did for Judge Doom?
SA: Never thought you'd ask! Well, first, we gotta explain the rest of the Judge's backstory. He was nuts, yeah, but a genius. He also dropped the ピアノ that killed Eddie's brother, Teddy. He offered us a job and we took it. All seven of us.
AP: I thought there were only five of you?
SA: Well, yeah. They broke from the group in '45. Our brothers, Slimy and Flasher weren't seeing eye to eye with the Judge, so they quit. They're still alive. We don't talk to them no more.
AP: And the movie's set in 1947, right?
W: Yeah. 40 years 前 today, actually. Acme was killed the 15th, and Doom and us got killed at around midnight on the 16th.
SA: So what happened to start it all was the fact that we /hated/ Disney. Walt drove us like slaves! He even made us wear these ugly costumes for the film. あなた do /not/ come between me and my suit! That's when we knew that 芝居 wasn't for us.
SA: *fainter* If this 次 bit gets out, we'll personably make sure that your interview with us never gets out! This is private and we don't want it known.
AP: It won't leave this room. I swear!
SA: The truth is, we miss the time we spent with Doom. He changed our lives! We weren't meant for acting.
G: あなた have to understand, hombre… あなた don't know what went on back then in the アニメーション studios. They worked us to the bone!
S: But, Greasy! We don't have bones!
SA: We might not have bones, Stupid, but you're /still/ a bonehead!
*Weasels laugh*
SA: Anyway…We had a chance to be もっと見る than two-bit actors resigned to be slaves to Disney. あなた couldn't- and あなた still can't- get your contract signed over to another studio. Once you're drawn によって Disney, you're owned によって ディズニー for life! So what we did was quit and showed Disney… Hell, we was gonna 表示する all of Toontown who あなた don't push a Toon over the limit!
G: I remember those five happy years. Dipping Toons… the salary… our car!
P: Dipping Toons was /my/ お気に入り part! *Psycho giggles*
SA: We broke the idea that Toons are JUST reposed to be actors または entertainers または waiters! We had a job, a job that woulda gone to a human, and it our salary was paid によって the great City of Angels!
AP: あなた mean あなた had human money?
W: Yeah, but it was converted to simoleons. It wasn't much, but we were richer than even the better-paid Toons.
S: I…uh… I remember the car! The city gave us the car, right boss?
SA: Yeah! The car was a official car from the city. Even had the city's シール on it, and an "Exempt" plate so we wouldn't get pulled over によって human cops.
AP: What was your job, really? Like, what did あなた guys /do/ as the Toon Patrol?
G: Our jobs were- as the city papers defined it as- to be specialty agents in an "extraneous agency of the law designed, not affiliated with the current Toontown precinct, to detain any and all law-breaking Toons and レポート them to the Toontown Police Department または to the current chief jurist of Toontown, to be dealt with in full accordance of the law of the district under legal control of the City of Los Angeles, known as Toontown."
AP: That's impressive! Did あなた have all that memorized?
G: あなた better believe it, hombre! あなた don't forget something as pompous-sounding as that!*He chuckles*
SA: What we actually did was raids and retainments in a lot of Toon's homes. Any serious troublemakers were 与えられた a /real/ quick and speedy trial and then Dipped. The raids were always feared によって Toons. We'd burst into homes and examine the joint, looking for any sign of trouble. Doom even approved the signing of a law that banned soda pop!
W:It's the one human drink that Toons could handle without pulling that old "steam engine smoke-out-of-the-ears" bit. Alcohol usually does that, and that was left legal so Doom could charge them with disturbing the peace and Dip または jail them.
G: Bugs Bunny and Pepe LePew often threw lavish parties that we were 98% sure had soda pop shipped in from Los Angeles, and we raided their mansions often, but we never found so much as a drop! But we knew! We could smell it!
SA: When we made any arrests, the holding cell of our truck was packed full of criminal Toons! Those were the days… we controlled Toontown's underground. All the Toons respected and feared us, and now? They don't even know who we are!
AP: What do あなた intend to do once you're done with filming the movie?
W: We're almost done, and this time we actually have a good salary because this is a high budget film. But we don't have many job offers.
SA: He means that nobody'll hire us. All the old-guard Toons hate our guts. We have one offer as secretaries at T.P.D, and we think we'll take it. It's the one job that nobody wants to do because of the work, but it's the highest paying job there because of it.
AP: Why can't あなた just get work as actors?
SA: It's the same with a lot of Toons. Many of us are drawn for one specific role, and once our movie または テレビ program ends, they don't need us. But Toons like Bugs and Mickey… they can act as a bunch of characters. If あなた wanted to have a Toon movie version of "Gone With the Wind", あなた could get any one of the famous Toons as a lead.
S: But they don't like us! *Sniffles*
W: *Coughs* *Wheezes* It ain't that they don't like us! They just don't need us no もっと見る because they don't make anything with weasels in it anymore. That's where *wheezes* we woulda been if we never quit. We're type casted as thug weasels, so any time they need thug weasels, they would have had to call on us.
AP: But aren't there Toons that are character actors, and some that actually /are/ their characters? I heard that once.
SA: Yeah. It's like with Bugs または Mickey… あなた can have them act in a Toon version of any movie. They'll add their own personality to the role for the laugh, but they're character actors. But the Toons like Br'er 狐, フォックス and the Big Bad Wolf, they /are/ their characters. They're the Toons that don't make it.
AP: What happens to Toons that don't make it? Do あなた think that'll happen to you?
SA: Sometimes, forgotten Toons just disappear. Poof! Ever hear of Oswald the Lucky Rabbit?
AP: Who's that? Roger's father?
SA: Nah. He was a real early Toon. He was Mickey before Mickey was drawn! But he was fired によって ディズニー and displaced によって Mickey マウス in the late '20s.
AP: What happened to him?
SA: Nobody knows. His last movie was in the late '30s. I bet あなた gotta be b.o.f.f.i.n in ディズニー to know what happened to /him/.
AP: B.o.f.f.i.n?
SA: Slang from the War years. Means "Back office intelligence". "In-the-know", kinda. And you'll never guess what.
AP: What?
SA: Acme's will left Toontown to the Toons- that's why we wanted it, so the Toons wouldn't get no legal hold on Toontown so Doom could own it and destroy it- and we come back after pushing up daisies for 40 years to find that ディズニー now owns Toontown!
AP: What?!
W: Yeah! *Wheeze* ディズニー got the majority of Toons to sign over Toontown to them! Since the majority of Toons in Toowntown are ディズニー characters, it was majority rules! We're trying to get that changed. As much as we can't stand Toontown, none of us wanna see *Cough* /Disney/ in control of Toontown.
G: Put that in your article. We want the public knowing about this.
AP: Aside from that, what is Toontown like today?
SA: The part you'll see in the movie is called Old Toowntown today. Tons もっと見る Toons have been drawn, and neighborhoods are getting built every day. Lucky Toon physics can make Toontown as big as it needs to be, または it'd been over-populated long ago. The newest neighborhood they're planning is for a 表示する that ain't been released yet. Some badly-drawn family named Simpson are getting their own show. It'll never last.
AP: Are あなた worried about Toons being animated using computers? Pretty soon, hand-drawn アニメーション won't be used anymore, they're saying.
SA: Why should it? All Tonns have a ホーム in Toontown. That's what was put in Acme's will. Just about every Toon knows that be heart.
AP: How does Toontown today compare to what あなた knew in the '40s?
G: It's bigger… new-looking buildings that don't even have faces line some of the streets!
W: Nobody in New Toontown sings… though that's a good thing. If I have to hear "The Merry Go Round Broke Down" または "Hungarian Rhapsody" one もっと見る time I'll go nuts!
SA: There are also districts based on what era the Toons was drawn in; that's new. I hope in the '90s they change that.
AP: So… we've discussed how あなた were drawn, what あなた did for Doom, how あなた died, a little part of the movie's plot, and the current situation in Toontown..
SA: Any もっと見る questions, chump?
AP: Yeah. What do あなた think of the movie?
P: /I/ don't like the fact that we can't use real Dip!...But the man playing the Judge looks just like the real Judge!
SA: Mixed feelings, I repose…We hate the fact that we gotta re-exact our deaths- even if it's acting, it's still not fun- and the fact that they cut some of the funnier things that happened in the film. But we like the fact that people and Toons will know who we are again!
AP: What kind of funny things were cut out?
SA: Aside from our brothers that ain't even /mentioned/-
P: And the scene with the gopher!
SA: ….Yeeeahhh…. and that… also, the time we drew a Toon pig's head on Valiant, Judge Doom's mini-trials where he had a little bag he opened that had a jury box of kangaroos that always 発言しました the Toon was guilty-
G: A /literal/ カンガルー court!
SA: And Judge Doom's vulture, Voltaire. He did a lot of the dirty work for Doom ,too.
AP: I see. Do あなた recommend that people go and see the movie? Would あなた say it accurately represents what happened 40 years ago?
SA: Yeah. We want people to see the movie. Much as we hate being Disney's playthings again, it's still true to what really went down.
AP: What's production like? What do they do on stage and how is a Toon drawn?
SA: Production is…interesting. Most Toons have photographic memories, and they had the Toons who were there- us too- write most of the script. To make sure it was as close to what really happened as possible.
AP: But what about the Toons themselves? How does this blend of live action and アニメーション work? Why are there voice actors if あなた guys act the part live?
G: Toons sometimes need their voices changed, because with us older Toons, they start to fade- kind of like a worn out record. So if あなた hear names like Charles Fleischer and David Lander, they were some of los actores de vozfamosos that re-did some of the voices for the Toons. And they sometimes give the voices off-set when one of the Toons is sick または can't come to the studio that day, and they hand-animate some of them back in.
S: They use puppets, too! I like the puppets!
W: Yeah. They used a lot of puppets, especially during the scene in the Ink and Paint Club because the ペンギン waiters were on strike. They had a stage built, and the trays that they carried were… hold on… *coughs*… on sticks that the… puppeteers *Wheeze* controlled from beneath. Then the penguins were animated over that.
G: Charles Fleisher did mine and Psycho's vices for this film, in addition to Roger's. When we were re-drawn a few months ago, he matched our original voices.
AP: Who was your original voice actor?
G:Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha III. あなた may know him as Desi Arnaz.
AP: I never knew that!... But how is a Toon drawn to life? That's the one thing everyone will want to know.
W: They use *cough* a multiplane camera to animate a Toon. *Wheezes* It takes a picture of each frame of a Toon, または of a scene, and *Hacks* projects and animates it.
G: Foley artists are used to give a Toon sounds when they move, and voice actors give the Toon a voice. The rest is… a bit complicated. Nobody really understands cartoon physics.
SA: あなた got any もっと見る questions, bub? We gotta go soon.
AP: Yeah. Only a few. What does it feel like to be a Toon?
SA: What does it feel like to be a human, chump? We're just as alive as あなた are even though we're maid out of ink and paint!
G: We got weight, depth, and texture. We eat, we can drink and breathe-
W: And smoke.
G: And we can feel, too. Emotions. Pain. But not as much as humans do.
AP: I never thought about it like that. I hope that 質問 wasn't bigoted.
SA: It's fine. Nobody ever does. They just think of us as puppets. They expect Toons to entertain and act, and that's why we did what we did! We wanted to end that town and everything it stands for. Now we're stuck in the system all over again. Roger and Jessica Rabbit, too. They switched from Maroon カートゥーン to Disney. *Snorts* Big mistake. Now we're all in the same boat.
AP: Do あなた think that 20, 30 years from now this movie will still be popular? That they'll know who any of あなた are?
SA: There's no doubt they'll remember Jessica! What a hot トマト /she/ is! But us… unless ファン make us popular, I don't know what'll happen. It'll be the same as being Dipped only we'll be alive and kicking. Everybody hates the villains.
AP: I thought everybody loved a ディズニー villain. That whole "It's good to be bad" thing and all.
SA: Well…We /are/ bad. And we 愛 it! You'd better not forget it!
AP: Just one last 質問 before I end this session.. If あなた could change anything about yourselves and what happened, would you?
SA: Hell no! あなた know, kid, this little chat of ours made me realize we forgot what we really are; bad guys. I wouldn't change a thing!
AP: And あなた guys?
G: Nada, amigo. I'm happy with the way we are.
W: Nope.
S/P: Nu-uh!
SA: /I/ got one thing to say, though, before we vamoose.
AP: What is it?
SA: No matter what job we end up in, あなた all gotta know that we'll /always/ be the Toon Patrol, and nobody'd better forget that! This'll teach 'em not to rub us the wrong way.
AP: Is that some sort of threat aimed at… everybody?
SA: Take it whatever way あなた want, chump. Just know that we ain't gonna take nothing from nobody. We're gangsters with badges, and we're not gonna be pushed around によって the Big Wigs any more. Either they accept us in Toontown, または we find some way to 表示する 'em we mean business!
S: Yeah! We mean business! We're gonna open a bakery! Or…or maybe a car wash!
W: Oh, Stupid…. That ain't what the boss meant!
S: Oh… uhhh….. what kind of business did he mean, then, Wheezy?
SA: Never mind what I meant! It'll be scarier if we don't pacify what we meant!
*Chair scraping*
SA: Come on, boys! Let's am-scray! We have to be back at the studio at 1.
*Door opens. Slams*
AP: Thanks for letting me interview… you! And they're gone.
*Door Opens*
SA: Oh, believe me, kid… the pleasure was /all/ ours! *Laughs*
*Door slams* *Sound of glass breaking*
(End of interview)
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