10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.

9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever あなた can.

7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When あなた go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.

3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what あなた will be doing in five 分 every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1. Eメール her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.