Riku114 Wall

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Riku114 発言しました …
Me: Okay its 11 AM what are we supposed to be going? *checks calendar*

Me: .... the calendar is blank until 6 PM

Me #2: Ya know we planned to like... ya know, have an easy 日 on the weekend?

Me: .... OKAY THEN. LETS GET DOWN TO RELAXING AND HAVING FUN. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLAY または DO

Me #2: Can あなた like... not be so extreme and just relax when relaxing 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Deep breaths, relax muscles, lower shoulders, and just do whatever~ 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Also I officially #100%ed Hijikata and Saito and I totally have... 26.1 hours on the game XD Im officially 1/6th way done with the game 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Im going back to get Hijikatas bad routes before starting another and I just remembered again how much he needs to stfu and stop being me 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I really miss my flock tbh. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Its been way too long since I got to hold a feathery friend. I hope we get to hold the chickens in the chicken lab for my animal science lab 次 week 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Cos Imma die if I cant hold a feathery friend for one もっと見る week 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
University: Here あなた have a $755 Refund Check to pick up

Me: .... i do? What for? I mean Il ltake it but idk why

Me: *going through financial papers and stuff* OH あなた GUYS DIDNT PAY ME MY WHOLE GRANT EARLIER SO THIS IS MONEY I HAD BUT DIDNT KNOW OHHH THATS NICE

Me: Well at least that makes sense. Alright time to account it into my budge-

University: *literally one 時 after I picked up that one* あなた have a refund check to pick up

Me: ???? WHAT FOR??? 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im getting so much money from the 大学 I dont understand why Im getting it. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Maybe this one is the small student loan または something? または maybe its the downpayment on dorm paid back or...??? 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Tbh I was $400-500 above my budget I was 与えられた and thus adding an unexpected $755 made me around $1200 saved and who knows how much the 次 one is .-. 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Also everyone says Hijikata is originally cold, mean, and an asshole of sorts but like... I never really saw that and I dont know if thats everyone having differnet opinions または a commentary on me since I relate to him XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Too many good Hijikata Icons. I was gonna go for ハロウィン but got distracted. Maybe Ill give him a witch hat 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Me: Imma Google how to relax

Roommate: あなた go do that. *goes off to the bathroom*

*two 分 later*

Roommate: did あなた figure out how to relax?

Me: No

Roommate: .... get off the UC Davis hatchery page, yo uare supposed to be relaxin- no close the Eメール too

Me: .... ..... *legit didnt realize she was not relaxing and now feels dumb* 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I officially accepted that I have a genuine friend irl and thus also decided to give her the irl best friend at the same time and thats honestly kinda weird for me.

...

... i dont know if i like this XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I feel a lot of あなた underestimate how horrifically bad I am at actually establishing meaningful connections with people IRL and then actually recognizing and accepting it rather than denying it and negating the 'meaningful' part because I refuse to let it count cos of my discomfort into getting invested into friendships 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
But TBH shes one of the only two not-boyfriend, not-therapist, not-oldest-sister people I know IRL that I am even remotely comfortable being my purely natural self and we still are in contact even after having not seen each other in two months and tbh shes pretty cool 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
#GayPTSDBuddies 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Im annoyed によって the amount of M&Ms in my trail mix 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I know Im weird 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
WELP. I apparently also do dissociative fugue XD The one dissociation thing I claimed to NOT have I apparently have for ffs XD

My new therapist was like "You do A LOT for being dissociated so it sounds a lot like a fugue if あなた ask me". Apparently あなた dont have to have that whole complete memory wipe / shock when あなた come back from a fugue and apparently my selective amnesia and constant casual autopilot-dissociation is likely a mild but still active dissociative fugue ffs XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
But fuck man I got therapy homework to "relax" rip me 1年以上前
Rihanna312 発言しました …
https://www.facebook.com/pubity/videos/767156683615418/ 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
XD Thats hilarious 1年以上前
JetBlack__ 発言しました …
Wait...who is Nomy? 投稿されました 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
Guys, check out my new 質問 on the ランダム club xD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
8theGreat XD 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
I see xD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Nomy: "Doing my job stuff so I might be slow to respond so sorry XD"

Me: "Its cool XD I was just mostly rambling here. And looking at birds"

Nomy: "When are あなた not looking at birds"

Me: "good point" 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ A good point indeed lmao !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Lowkey having way too much fun with the thing me and Nomy are casually working on as a side thing together tbh. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
YES MY 7-10 PM CHEM LAB GOT CANCELED COS THE UC SYSTEM IS EXPERIENCING A STRIKE. HALLELUJAH. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
So I managed to match with a therapist that does have experience with trauma and dissociation so that should be interesting. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
So anyways, we did the away game and what not well and stayed up from 10 PM until 3 AM until I had to let my boyfriend go which lowkey really made me kinda sad to see him go since it was honest to god the first time none of my mental health crap was constantly pressuring me (Constantly but not majorly; present but not crushing) and I didnt really wnat him to go.

Woke up the 次 day, had the banquet and senior speeches and what not 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Then we got on the bus to head back to our 大学 but only got like.... 20 miles out before one of the busses started majorly leaking oil and eventually catching on 火災, 火 in the form of an engine fire. That ended up making us stranded によって a beach. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Then we all agreed (quite enthusiastically as if we hadn't just been told we were stranded for two hours) to "rally at the beach" which pretty much means to play 音楽 and have a band version of a party on the beach. Pretty much did that for three hours straight. Apparently a couple whose son killed himself a week 前 forced themselves out of the house to check out hte ビーチ and smiled for the first time since because of us, our energy, and overwhelming positivity 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I might アップロード some 動画 onto YouTube XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
IM BACK HOLY SHIT XD

Our bus broke down and we didnt get a bus until midnight and then had a 5 時 drive back XD Plus I had a cold but tbh it was a lot of fun and I needed it XD After I get 食 and laundry done I might ramble もっと見る on it if people are interested but it was quite a fun adventure with the band XD

Oh yeah I was at an away game that had us in a hotel over the weekend btw. 投稿されました 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
that was unexpected news but こんにちは glad あなた had fun xD yes もっと見る please.. 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
yyyyyyyyyyoooooo finally back!!!, but i am happy too あなた had alot of fun<3 1年以上前
JetBlack__ 発言しました …
Riku why u no have time xD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Cuz Im a bando XD 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
:D 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
hahahaha XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Fyi Goodbyes are still 200x harder than just cold turkey または any actual parting 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
^This is in relation to the fact I got to see my boyfriend two nights 前 and had to part as well tho on the same 日 XD It was harder than I thought it would be 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
My relatable character 一覧 is really hard to rank at this point XD Also I moved a few to an "EX-Relatable" 一覧 since I was feeling some really didnt match up to the standard the 一覧 held 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I also now added Tiers so I could place them もっと見る generally into Three Ranked boxes rather than trying to compare two really close ones. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
The Tiers arent really ranked inside the tier but First is higher than 秒 which is higher than third 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
HIJIKATA GOTTA STOP DOING THINGS AND SAYING THINGS SIMILAR TO WHAT IVE DONE AND 発言しました FUCK OFF 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
ALSO CHIZURU STOP DESCRIBING HIM AS SOME PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE ME. あなた TOO CAN FUCK OFF XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I might just go eat my パスタ bar and glare. XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Hilariously hes also nicknamed "Demon Commander" によって his フレンズ and subordinates which is very well paralleled によって the fact everyone in my old band called me "Satan" XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly I'm not too good at 表示中 affection out of the provider method. Providing gifts, money, aid, help, and all that stuff. It doesnt really work well for people that dont want it または people that dont understand that type of affection, but its just the most natural and comfortable one for me.

Im also pretty good at the method of spending quality time, but I also feel that flies over people's head a lot since I have limited time so my 'quality time' often isnt long 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im usually busy so cutting out like... half an 時 または an 時 to just あなた really says something 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honest to god my boyfriend is the もっと見る sweet thing ever. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
*most sweet 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im the luckiest to have him in my life 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Ah yes. The 4 AM call time for a football game in Marching Band. Sounds about right. XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Lowkey feel a little bad cause people are comparing their schedules to mine and feeling lazy but that REALLY isnt fair. I keep myself busy sometimes as a bad coping mechanism XD Being busy is usually easier for me than being free 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Oh huh. Thats the first time I 発言しました that since I turned 18.

I guess Im finally / officially 'legal' now XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
FUCK IM NO LONGER #TEAMTEENAGER ON ファンポップ XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Well.... "Teen"ager comes from the "teen" part so Im still a teen until Im like.... 20 XD So I still kinda am? 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Its weird tho XD Being on here since I was like 11 almost 12 makes it odd being moved a biiiiit into the older group. TBH not THAT old since there are a lot of older people still on here but yikes XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Im 18 and take 6-7 pills every morning. What am I 60? 投稿されました 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
あなた are 11 年 old cat xD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Hijikata is too relatable tbh XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Welp that Chem midterm had to be on of the easiest tests Ive taken in a while 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Also I was debating between the conflict in my own values and ideals the fact that one of my closest college フレンズ currently does drugs (which I am firm against myself; but I have had online フレンズ that abused it so now that I think about it I should have no problem with it XD) but from what Ive heard and seen so far, shes rather responsible about it and doesnt push it so I suppose its fine. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
My firmness on that value of mine hadnt had such a direct 質問 to my decision of people to be around and to choose to be フレンズ with since those that did do it that I was フレンズ with did it after I already took them as longer term フレンズ so something like that was a matter of concern for them rather than decision making on my part 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
But personally, as much as I disagree with the usage of drugs and what not, as long as people arent in my face about it and trying to get me to take part and they themselves arent harming themselves with it または their behavior while on it isnt harming others, then its not really horrible. Everyone's life is their own 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Same as Zeppie and agree !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly I really like my Microecon professor XD I mean Ive always loved Economy - both Macro and Micro - but he just makes the class great. Both a wonderful professor and just person in general XD Plus with my 愛 for participating, tendency to sit in the front, and the small conversation I have with him before and after class Im on pretty good terms with him too XD

But lowkey my お気に入り class to go to (until we get to Poultry in Animal Science prolly) 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Imma wanna die the 次 two weeks XD

I have 9 hours of band practice this week, then an all weekend marching trip, two labs, and a midterm XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
omg

"arrrghh my head"

Youtuber: "Yeah あなた should just amputate it" 投稿されました 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
ouch XD , get well soon Riku~bun<3 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Nah XD That wasnt at me it was a thing in the game he was going through 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
hehe thats good xD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
extraverted Sensing (Se) (30.2)
good use

introverted Sensing (Si) (25)
average use

extraverted Intuiting (Ne) (29.3)
average use

introverted Intuiting (Ni)      (34.3)
good use

extraverted Thinking (Te) (43.6)
excellent use

introverted Thinking (Ti) (30.3)
good use

extraverted Feeling (Fe) (20.7)
limited use

introverted Feeling (Fi) (27.2)
average use

TEMPERAMENT: Theorist 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Oh the Temperament was a different wording for the "Rationals" "Idealists" etc etc 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
But yeah that felt like probably the most legit of the tests out of the ones I took 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Fuck I was gonna record it but decided against it and now wanted to post it on my ウォール but now I cant find it :v

Anyways there was a Hijikata quote along the lines of "If I find myself in capable of doing a task, it is my responsibility to delegate it to someone who can." 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Personally thats the great thing about communications, having people around あなた with diverse skills, and - in the larger spectrum for like nations and what not - trade. Time is very limited and one cant spend their whole life learning literally everything (against as much as I talk about it and seem to try to XD) so some things have to be passed up. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
AND THIS ALL STARTED FROM ME THINKING ABOUT A HIJIKATA QUOTE 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I hate myself XD (not really) 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Hijikata is also pretty relatable. Saito is もっと見る specifically relatable while Hijikata is もっと見る generally relatable 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
WOOOOO DORM TO MYSELF. God its been so long since I felt as free as this XD I 愛 my roommates but as the 前 post on this ウォール said, my mind just automatically assumes that they serve a presence like my parents so like... yeah XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly the thing about PTSD that I didnt really fully notice until I went to college is how it just makes あなた have a constant sense that where-ever あなた are and regardless of what facts あなた present, there is a massive tag on everything that marks it a threat / possible danger.

Like I find that my dorm honestly feels exactly like it did when I was back at ホーム but there is NOTHING here actually to give it that feeling 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Likewise, the college itself does as well outside of learning. I just suppose it hasnt fully occurred to me because when I felt that constant presence of a threat that isnt there was when I didnt know / accept that I had PTSD and when I did know / accept it, I had my boyfriend around me at least an 時 almost every 日 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
And as cheesy as it sounds, I can honestly say the only place I felt normal - at least in terms of sensing a threat または anxiety - and safe. When I am around him, there is no levels of filters watching every word and every gesture and every thought and everything. Im fully genuine around him because my brain goes "Oh look. We are good and safe. No worries, feel free" cause he just makes me feel safe. HE doesnt really do anything too actively. HE isnt over protective または take up my inner routines to protect myself from a nonexistant threat. Its just that hes there and its like a safety net または harness. あなた wouldnt go on an obstacle course 200 feet in the air without one of them, but when its there and 与えられた によって a company あなた can sue, あなた are much もっと見る okay with it 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im charismatic, smart, driven, good at applying myself, and considerably successful and just looking at the stats Ive got everything going for me way better than him. But honestly, its like people being amazed at the 木, ツリー and how beautiful it is without looking at the very soil, water, and nutrients that even let it be that. 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Ughh XD Im sad now. Im hearing the band practicing field 表示する for tomorrow's football game that I didnt sign up for cos I figured Id be exhausted but now that I hear them its giving me good old memories to late night practices and now I wanna be there XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Today was a fucking shitty day. 10/10 would NOT recommend 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Hijikata is great XD Saito seems もっと見る fitting as a partner in my opinion but Hijikata is a great character XD I seriously 愛 his casual cursing being part of the smaller details of his characteristics XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Oh shit one of my options for a therapist is trained in EDMR therapy XD I dunno if I wanna go for it though cause I dont really know if its the type of processign and recovery I want to go about but that therapy is like a really rare type to see 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
It really shouldn't feel as odd as it is to be 与えられた normal friendly attention and to be treated as a normal person as it does. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
IRL I mean. I have a lot of online フレンズ I feel give me that too 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
WHY IS BUDGETING TO MUCH FUN? 投稿されました 1年以上前
2ntyOnePilots コメントしました…
*too I’m sry, couldn’t help it. Argh.. plz don’t @ me, ik I’m hypocritical 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
It was actually supposed to be *So 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Also 7-10 PM Chemistry Labs was a mistake 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
And people are starting to notably notice that Im ahead of most of the class even when Im in a large 大学 XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
College is the ability to say "You know this professor lectures 4x slower than I can learn によって 読書 myself and I have a TA and discussion classes to work through anything I might not know so fuck this lecture" 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I have a midterm for Chem (not really a midterm cause I have two cause they dont understand what the word 'midterm' means) 次 week and tehre are two もっと見る chapters to cover and Im pretty sure I could cover the two chapters on my own and start doing practice tests in the time itd take them to cover the single first chapter today 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Personally I think I like Pokemon partly because Im an animal lover and the ファンタジー of being in sync with your pets much もっと見る like companions and partners and going into battle with them just sounds like an awesome relationship.

Of course a large part is being raised with it, but my animal lover, my combat obsession, and my 愛 for ファンタジー just kinda melds together as well. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I suppose to animal lovers, it depends if あなた see the battles as forcing them to fight または as working as a partnership to fight that makes あなた 質問 it. Also I like to imagine pokemon less in the "I wanna be the Pokemon Master" way, and もっと見る in just like a world of Pokemon and conflicts and stuff going on and stuff. A more... mature and stuff orientated type 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
HArd to explain but I dunno XD 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
I feel the same way when it comes to that matter !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
My hair is so good for hair / head banging 投稿されました 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
Meow 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
headbangs with Riku❤ 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I am honestly so sick of shitty fucking service management and help in the mental health department of fucking everything. Fuck Kaiser and maybe now also Fuck Davis 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I 愛 Davis but fuck their whole student care. Im paying for insurance yet have to struggle to book a single fucking appointment with therapy または psychiatry. I have STILL yet to get one despite all my efforts 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Poor service in the mental health department isnt even funny in the slightest anymore 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Not that it ever was 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT ジーザス CHRIST 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Linkin Park is a real headbanger.

Also for those that wonder how well I hide emotions and even major breakdowns, Ive had two full breakdown and like.... three または four almost breakdowns and none of them have been noticed によって my roommates または bandos who have been around me pretty much 24/7 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
I know how that is very well !!!! 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
And yes. Linkin Park rocks. It still remains one of my お気に入り Bands !!!! 1年以上前
2ntyOnePilots コメントしました…
Linkin Park rocks! (Literally) I’m glad I’m not the only one who still gets a kick out of their music. (R.I.P. Chester) 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I still hate when my mind randomly reminds me how ruined and stolen my childhood and teenhood was stolen from my family situation and mental health. I usually accept it and can think about it and grow from it, but sometimes my brain just hooks on it in a form of comparison and just get really envious and sad and tries to drag me back into grief over it. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Its one of the things that I still almost definately need 音楽 to block out. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I was video chatting with my boyfriend when I took a two 分 break and something just brought it back and now Im just kinda really tense trying to block out the thought cause its not good for me to think about and if I think about it my mind starts going down a bad track and I start dissociating but even when Im playing 音楽 to block out the bad thought train, I still am tense af and my body still wants to be anxiety ridden 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I really do need to figure out therapy though so I can actually continue to work through things 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Personally for a while, I spent a lot of my life kind of ロスト in my own mind and just living in the worlds in my head and even in a reality slightly warped または rather wrapped in a veil of distance and separation. It felt so separate from the world.

I would have this sense of companionship and socializing talkign to online フレンズ 24/7 while pent up in my room, rarely actually talking to anyone. A life that was perfect and a well developed and stable personality 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
While not knowing the first thing about myself and while being a mental health mess in a toxic family 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
It was honestly a bit of a false reality and while it may have felt really good from time to time, I feel that its good that I got my reality and the TRUE reality to match up and work on actually taking part in the world 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I am not to say that フレンズ online are not real フレンズ または they dont provide companionship, however its hard to say that it fully fills the role when there is nothing in the actual physical world to be around 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
If I were to say anything, it was probably a lot easier, もっと見る peaceful, and fun to live like that and honestly sometimes there is a deep longing to go back to living like that, but this seems better - as もっと見る difficult as it is 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Welp I finished Saito's route and like.... I dont wanna go onto completing ANY of the other 12 rn cos I 愛 Saito and that story worked so well it doesnt feel like the others could compare XD

Im sure they are great but Id feel wrong moving on so fast so I might take a few days break または something.

Saito is great though 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
14 hours of game play and there is 11 other main routes XD 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Welp, it is reasonable. Give yourself some time to reflect on what あなた have went through before あなた jump straight into the other Routes XD !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Saito is so making my relatable characters 一覧 XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Sometimes, I honestly feel like if Im not of use to people, I really am not wanted, needed, または worthy of attention / affection または whatever.

I am very aware that it isn't true, but I can't say I am not taken off guard または uncomfortable when I realize someone is liking me not for my skill in anything または my intelligence または my ability to help them, but just rather for me and myself and...

Its just weird 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I kinda relate to Saito in that matter 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I was actually having ディナー with one of the other trumpet freshmen and for over half of it I was internally struggling to comprehend the fact that I neither was amazing at the trumpet compared to others, havent shown off any particular academics, または really anything useful to them yet.... they still treated me and seemed to want to welcome me into being フレンズ regardless and it just didnt seem right または to make sense XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
XD Thanks guys. Its not really a major concern but もっと見る so a reflection / analysis / observation I noticed on myself and felt like rambling about. It is just something that I noticed and one of the things that resonated strongly with me when a similar topic was beign discussed in Hakuoki XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Lowkey in a huggge ラーメン mood since I cant go to the dining commons but also not wanting to spend money

Id kill for like... legit ramen. Like legit cooked ramen. The real delicious good shit. 投稿されました 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
ラーメン I WANT ALOT*_* YUMMY!!!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
ALSO FUCK HAKUOKI SLIGHTLY XD

It makes me miss my boy もっと見る XD Cos Im like "Aww... this is such a nice romance cute thing... I relate case of my boyfriend... BUT HES NOT FUCKING HERE AND ITS BEEN LIKE TWO AND A HALF WEEKS AND I WANT HIM BACK. GIVE HIM BACK TO ME." 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Honestly, I just kinda like having him around because I get a nice sense of security that makes it so I dont have to be well in check 24/7, looking over thigns 24/7, being responsible and controlling everything, and jsut all in all being a really spectacular, responsible, hardworker all the time. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I mean its GOOD when I am doing that and it REALLY doesnt drain me too much to be like this 24/7 cause its honestly just a different mode of sorts and doesnt really take much energy for me to keep track of everything and stay on task and everything, but I really do enjoy occasionally allowing myself to be stupid, to make mistakes, and to not have to look far ahead to make sure everything is going exactly as I plan / want it to and all 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Still tho. I 愛 Hakuoki 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Hajime Saito > Hajime Hinata

I 愛 both but Saito is great 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Hajime Ichinose > EVERY other Hajime so far !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
"All too often, doubt is little もっと見る than a poison" ~ Saito Hajime 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I burnt my self out helping my roommate with basic Chem that I just had a major energy and mood crash the 秒 a minor inconvenience occured in my work when I started it at night

Whoops 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly the great thing about a well done Otome game is it gives あなた a small, short version of the feeling of falling in 愛 all over again. Its not as long lasting, and its not as intense, but for a short moment when playing it, あなた just get the rush and softness for a 分 または two where あなた are like "Ah... Love"

Not enough to where あなた fall in 愛 for real, but enough to get the feeling of being loved and loving. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
So it seems the first game "Kyoto Winds" is もっと見る of the set up and is much もっと見る linear even with the different romancable options and then "Edo Blossoms" is the 秒 half where あなた start right away getting to be offered which route 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Its just kinda nice being as busy as I am to be honest XD Makes keeping my club up and active harder but still lets me have fun and what not while still feeling like Im making progress in my life

Oooooh

I think I get to sheer 羊 this Friday によって the way

#Hype 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Relatable !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Apparently I am matching with Saito もっと見る just with my natural decision choices XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I wonder how much Ive read in Visual Novels in my time... 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Hakuoki plays a lot better than I expected XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly... People assume me to be much もっと見る in control and independent than I am - または at least もっと見る than I comfortably am. Im driven and perseverant and all, but I really dont like doing things Im completely unfamiliar with alone and I dont necessarily know how to do everything. I mean, that is normal for people, but it seems like almost everyone but maybe my boyfriend and maybe my oldest sister realize that. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im great at leading when its somethign foreign that Im somewhat used to または something similar to something Im familiar with and all, but when its completely unknown, I really 愛 to have someone actually help me out. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I can get pretty easily overwhelmed alone in an area I feel like I dont have any solid footing in. Most things I do feel like I have solid footing in, therefore I lead rather well and handle myself rather well - but if I dont have a plan または any real guidance of something Ive seen before または anything, it just throws me off 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Cos bois I still got severe anxiety thats just being mediated によって medication 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
I see that being perfectly natural, Rikubun. Someone thinking otherwise would seem unusual to me. That applies to every person and the impressions they are giving. Especially if あなた have come to know them well !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Ugh. I honestly wish I was actually taught how to do taxis and bus crap cos now I have to figure that stuff out on my own and its a pain in the ass. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Also a note as to why I need to take my anxiety meds daily. Cause I missed it today (and probably also cause I missed it two days ago), it was causing my body to start reacting in an anxiety attack what with the inability to breathe and shit 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im alright cause my sister actually gives me もっと見る help than "Take cash money and figure it out" and cause Im aware the reaction my body was having was primarily due to the lack of medication and I just took my medication but yikes 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Apparently I bike at least 4 kilometers on a regular school 日 so its a bit too convenient for Pokemon Go XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I might start playing Pokemon again. My schedule isnt as dense as I hoped it would be to make playing the DS もっと見る convenient but I still probably will. Maybe help my roommate complete the Pokedex 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
My roommate and sister dragged me back into Pokemon Go. My trainer code 1156 7110 6840 for anyone who wants to add me 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Im so forwardly in 愛 with birds 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
AQUA IS OFFICIALLY A BOSS FIGHT IN KH3 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Me: Yeah theres a lot of biking in Davis

Oldest Sister: I told あなた there was a lot of biking in college

Me: No あなた dont understand

Me: Davis is a whole new level

Me: Just Google UC Davis Bike

Me: Just look out your window at Davis

Me: Davis is a bike 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Its kinda nice that the torturous longing to be able to hug and cuddle and be with my boyfriend has been replaced with an excitement to go ホーム and be with him in just a week of being here.

I really miss him and we can do so much when I get back XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I'm honestly just so lucky to have him. The distance honestly kinda makes me appreciate even the smallest things even more. 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
But yeah Im not really the type of person who should have been out of therapy for over three months straight 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
あなた are going to be starting it again now that Summer is over. Right? 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
If I can work through Davis 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
TFW あなた are unsure whether あなた are just really bad at recognizing your own emotions または really good at lying / convincing yourself that one emotion is the 次 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Cause lowkey had a bit of a breakdown over the thing mentioned below and I know my need to stay active is a hugeeee front and the boredom is a HUUUGEEE red herring to keep myself from actually having to feel / think about my feelings 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
The thing is, even after a bit of a crack in it, I still dont know what Im blocking out, what, または why and for the time period that I was extremely distressed about boredom, I genuinely thought I was depressed cos I was bored cos thats a thing for me but like, I can bet あなた I was depressed for some other reason and I only started to feel it cause I wasnt busy and was distressed cos I was feeling depressed and was using the scapegoat of boredom so I could ignore my own issue 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
God Im bored 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im not even a week into college and Im already bored of it. >.> 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
It doesnt help my mind isnt in a "Have fun and relax" mode and thus dont feel comfortable / motivated doing anything fun which means I cant get into a game または マンガ または アニメ または anythign even if I forced myself to 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im HONESTLY going to burn out so fast if Im like this for much longer または if I cant relax on the weekend 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
That feeling when your shy introverted roommates have a larger will / want to make もっと見る フレンズ than あなた XD

I just am too lazy and dont have people Im interested in yet XD

Ive got invited to like... two または three parties already XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Sorry if I dont talk too much to people I usually would XD Ive been busy and distracted to keep up with my normal online routine XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Shukuya コメントしました…
No problem 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
Hey,as long as あなた still here that’s all it matters. 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ This. It is understandable, Rikubun. No need to even mention it !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Me: Imma take a bit of a nap 20 分 cause Im super tired and I never end up napping for もっと見る than a few minutes

*two hours later*

Me: FUCK ITS 4PM AND I MISSED 日 ONE OF SCH- Oh wait. Huh. *talks to roommate for like two minutes* Imma just curl up for like five 分 または something

*five 分 later*

Roommate: We should probably go eat soon since we have to leave in a bit

Me: Yeah sure around five

Roommate: It is five. あなた fell asleep an 時 前 投稿されました 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
The ベッド must be so comfy xD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Its alright XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I was just super exhausted 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
So this is gonna be a copy paste from what I texted people on messenger but college story time 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Also dude. Someones bike flipped and they flew off it cos a janitor bumped the back of their bike with their vehicle and she - the rider - totally skinned her knee really badly and was bleeding a lot 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Karma has its very own pace and ways of rewarding. Glad things worked out for both of あなた !!!! 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
That was weird xD Hope it's just a beginners welcoming XD be 安全, 安全です Riku<3 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I honestly just feel happy and comfortable when I can really help the people around me that I care about. ITs one of my easier ways of 表示中 affection and all, and if people can come to me for help and I can help them, it just makes me feel respected and liked.

Maybe its a bit wrong, since its a dynamic that could get unhealthy, but in moderation I feel like its fine 投稿されました 1年以上前
Shukuya コメントしました…
I think you're doing great 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Update: Quickly getting my good biking legs back 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly if Im not on much its cause Im moving in and doing school prep and figuring life out at college and all and I just feel odd being on my computer much now XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Rihanna312 コメントしました…
linkI`m just gonna leave this link here for when あなた get back on, in case あなた haven`t seen this yet ^_^ 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Awww XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Wow my whole dorm room is the " 5' 1(.5)" girls with dysfunctional families bringing trauma and bad pasts to UC Davis hoping for もっと見る luck and a fresh start here " 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
My roommate is a wonderful person and I 愛 her XD We are gonna have a fun 年 投稿されました 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
^Since when (her) means boy? xD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
^ Plus platonically 愛 XD Also Im bi / ace af so gender doesnt matter for me 1年以上前
Shukuya コメントしました…
Sorry about that i didn't noticed!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
On a scale of one to ten, do あなた want to die?
On a scale of one to ten, do あなた want to die?
But if あなた want to die
あなた cant afford a funeral
So sadly I must say, あなた can not die 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Honestly its not that bad for me but feels man 1年以上前
Shukuya コメントしました…
Life is game, dying means quiting it and I never quit a game 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Me and my roommate are whining and complaining about medical shit and college shit and assholes who write their own textbooks every 年 and make their students buy them 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
... well I was gonna make a Luka + Flugelhorn アイコン but I cant アップロード it >.> 投稿されました 1年以上前
JetBlack__ コメントしました…
Oh ! why? 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
ファンポップ glitching 1年以上前
8theGreat コメントしました…
I dig it 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Seriously though I just 愛 my college band. So hyped for Monday Practice this Monday XD They make me feel loved and welcome. Its great not being the mom for the first time and just being the 'kid' of the band since あなた get that really nice older sibling feel and that "we have your back" feeling that I havent had in a while.

They are honestly wonderful people. 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
That is wonderful to know !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
As for a college update, Im moving in tomorrow XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
TFW あなた spend all 日 playing online games with your boyfriend since あなた both have the 日 off and あなた still miss him XD Its honestly lowkey great to miss him like this. It both means Ive made great progress in mental health, that I really did 愛 him, makes the smallest things feel like the largest, and honestly just makes me もっと見る fond.

It sucks but like... Ive never been so happy または excited to play Fortnite または Stardew または anything before. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I realize that when 食 is now on my own money, I eat a lot less of it XD Its probably for the better tho cos like... I eat もっと見る than I should XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly its quite a great thing that Im missing my boyfriend XD Its a huge improvement from what I used to be like with my mental health. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Annnnd now I need to figure out something to keep me busy and entertained the 次 two days in a city I dont know, without a car, and with dead legs from band camp XD

Ill figure it out but for now Imma sit cos my legs are dead XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I AM BACK AND THE BAND IS GREAT.

#YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
WELCOME BACK! XD That is good to know !!!! 1年以上前