Riku114 Wall

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Riku114 発言しました …
Fun story time. I dont really remember the details too well, but like... three または four years ago, I was having some kind of a high anxiety day. I dunno if it was a panic attack that I didnt know of, an anxiety attack, または some traumatic shit または anything, but I was experiencing high anxiety and was excessively zoned out as to cope with it, and some guy came to like... touch me, hug me, または pat me または something 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
So like... I had a 秒 または two of panic where I shoved him up against the railing of the upper floor and was like... a 秒 または two away from instinctually pushing him over the railing of the 秒 floor before I snapped out of it and somehow managed to play it off as a joke 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Like I dont know HOW I played it off without any 質問 asked cos I pushed him like a good 5-10 feet to get him to the railing and I wouldnt be shocked if I had a crazed look XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Nah I didnt look sad. I have a resting 雌犬 face no matter what emotion Im feeling 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
RIP all my classes from today フォワード, 前進, 楽しみにして tho XD My brain officially went from like 90% checked out, to like 100% checked out for the rest of the school 年 when I finished my AP Government test (even tho I still have an AP Econ test on Wednesday XD) 投稿されました 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
Awesome. Be lazy time? 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Lazy is life 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, the sheer degree of which I like Stephen Strange is.... STRANGE.

Like I watched the movie, enjoyed it a lot, but he wasnt all too high on my list, but out of no where suddenly Im just as hyped to see him on screen as the long term Marvel お気に入り of mine - Loki?

And I just get that natural "Hes a favorite" feel, but I dont know exactly why..?

I mean Imma make Wanta watch it and I wanna watch it to analyze and see why I might like him XD But still. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
My memory is iffy but maybe I kinda relate to him? Who knows. I know I do have some similarities 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I really dont have the ability to be comfortable saying I like a character just cos I like them. I need to be able to know what in specific I like :v 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
あなた know, if あなた think about it, being a hero, a famous hero, just honestly isnt fair. Its borderline toxic. At the point that someone becomes a famous hero, the pressure to constantly be the hero and be responsible of helping others and saving the 日 just would consume the life of the 'hero'

Sure they are saving people and being great people, but it comes at the cost of their limited existence.

When あなた think about it like that, あなた have to pity superheroes 投稿されました 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
oh they undeniably have it pretty bad. 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
As an idealist, I can assure あなた gets rough having the pressure to always remain upbeat XD 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
IKR if I was a ‘hero’ I’d probably like idk 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
I think I adequately fucked with Riku's mind right before she went to sleep. I'm satisfied with that 投稿されました 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Why does Faba not have a Flygon? 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I AM BEING SHAMED FOR HAVING AN ESTIMATE OF 300-450 ENGLISH SONGS PICKED OUT ON THAT LIST.

FIRSTLY, THATS ONLY LIKE THE 上, ページのトップへ OF THEM EACH

SECONDLY, I ADMIT IM A 音楽 JUNKIE, BUT COMPARED TO SOME PEOPLE I KNOW AND ZANHAR, IM A CUTE BABY 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
THIRDLY, I HAVE AN INSTUMENTAL PLAYLIST PROBABLY 9X LONGER, A JAPANESE PLAYLIST ABOUT THE SAME LENGTH (guessing), AND A KOREAN PLAYLIST THAT IS PROBABLY A BIT SMALLER 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
THIS IS NOTHING 鍬 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
*cough* My irl フレンズ have no place judging me :v 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
My USB currently has 225 songs in the English folder. 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, people in my school make fun of me for only listening to 'weeb' music, but truth is I probably like もっと見る English songs than most of the people saying that. Im a 音楽 junkie. Its just I have so much I like that downloading all of it is overwhelming :v 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ #Relatable !!!! 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
音楽 is just really nice. 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Without this 音楽 I don’t know how I would’ve fought this - Lane Boy |-/ 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Ha. My English teacher had us 'read' like six 本 in preparation for the AP Exam essay, then I did my mock on Romeo and Juliet (one that wasnt one of the six) and I 発言しました Id probably do it on the AP Exam cos I know that one better than I should

She 発言しました I shouldnt because its been a while since I read it and since it doesnt cover all the topics that well and should study the other 本 (not that I even studied R&J) 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
But fuck that XD Totally wrote my essay on Romeo and Juliet XD I know that piece too well solely cause its famous, cos I read Tybalt two years 前 and really liked his character もっと見る than I should have, watched an アニメ version of the play (which btw, had the plot changed a lot, I recommend the anime), and cos its jsut a good piece to analyze off of since a lot of stories can take a lot of inspiration and similarities off of it 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Even one of my side stories has a lot of parallels I didn't really intentionally do 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Despite never really watching the movie または anything, Ive always been attached to the idea and things themed / inspired from Alice in Wonderland 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Same honestly. Have always found its whole concept fascinating !!!! 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Me too! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Im sorry Im like.... on a tired high.

I only got 3 hours of sleep for a really busy 日 XD

If I say weird stuff, enjoy XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
TIRED RIKU! DON'T APOLOGIZE! COME OUT FURTHER! DO MORE! 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
If I talk too much I might start casually talk about murder または shit. Im in a demented tired :v 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
A tired high? Oh so that’s what あなた call it. That happens to me as well. So excuse any crazy stuff I say... I’m out of it a lot 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Seriously Riku needs to stop being all ansty about it and accept my offer to let her stab me with one of her knives. I mean sheesh. It's a flesh wound. MAYBE liver injury at worst. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Keep talking weird shit like that and itll be in the head 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
jk jk 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, I am not going to lie. I am 'crazy' and 'insane'. I used to be even もっと見る so, but honestly even now I still can be. I've gone to the point of naming myself something else. I've talked way too excessively with people in my head, one of which tried to convince me I was a god before I realized I was getting way too off the rocker.

I've thought of excessively sadistic things with no guilt または shame to back it up. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Personally, I strongly accept that part of me. The closer あなた get to me, the もっと見る creepy and unsettling things あなた might find my mind causing. But its honestly something I accept of myself. I am definately working out of it since it isn't a GOOD thing to be like this, but its not something Im going to let harm my esteem または hold against myself 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I dont disclose too much of specifics of how... off... I can get at times since theres no need for that to spill out onto here, because I always sound like a psycho edgelord and I find that cringey, and because personally I dont like to attribute it to my 全体, 全体的です character. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
But yeah thats just kinda a ramble 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I want sleep 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
あなた NEED sleep !!!! 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
Sleep? 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
ya deserve sleep so much 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
"If that's the case, then あなた owe it to yourself to pick apart the games あなた LOVE, not just the ones あなた hate."

愛 that. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Person: Im so stressed out Imma pull out my hair!

Me, a person with Trichotillomania: https://tinyurl.com/y8fvjeqz 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Honestly, I'm not the type to be like "OMG あなた ARE MAKING LITTLE OF MY DISORDER" because Trich is pretty poorly covered and that is a common saying, but I still kinda just take a pause whenever I hear it 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Cos like... 雌犬 I doubt あなた are literally gonna pull out your hair :v Stop appropriating my culture 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Jk jk 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I just find it funny-ish whenever I hear that line 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
I text Riku too much. Confirmed. RIP 投稿されました 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Ha I bet ya do! Y’all are so close! :) 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
*deep breath* *sigh* Honestly, searching for a roommate is a pain in the 尻, お尻 with my family issues and vulnerability issues and just my 全体, 全体的です trust issues and stuff. Like I know I'll be fine regardless and I'll make フレンズ and all just fine. Its just my brain being stupid about it while I'm waiting for a reply combined with how this whole "I cant just get this done with" stuff does not fit with me who likes to get things done with before moving onto the next. 投稿されました 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Good luck buddy. Try not to listen when あなた tell yourself stuff like that. You’ll get through it and everything will work out. :). [Wow. Listen to me, little motivationist. I’m trying.] Stay Alive |-/ 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Nah, to be honest, the things that concern me are genuine issues I need to keep in check. Some of the issues I have with making irl フレンズ are deep rooted with family issues of mine and I actually genuinely do sabotage them myself with how my anxiety and stuff reacts to certain things. Its a work in progress and all and I know Ill get through it XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Its just a stinkin pain in the asssss 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts 発言しました …
Hi I’m back! A few days is like a 年 when あなた live here 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Welcome back 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, Im waiting for もっと見る information on Osoro Shidesu specifically from Yandere Simulator. Cos honestly right now she kinda borders relatable, but there is so little actually 与えられた out on her character.

Im super interested tho. 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
She looks interesting. Has a pretty cool appearance too !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
So got back from Infinity War.

Not nearly as depressing または sad as like.... 99% of people make it out to be. Maybe its the fact I bathe in tragedy または because I write stories and tragedy as much as I do, but it didnt really hit me too hard.

Also rather predictable if あなた ask me. Like I wasnt shocked または surprised with anything other than the abrupt ending. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
With that being said. I loveeeed the movie. It was great and I honestly like how the first like... half of the movie had my お気に入り XD Thor, Loki, Dr. Strange, and Guardians of the Galaxy. Just awesome XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Oh and Stark. Thats the other one. XD 上, ページのトップへ Five Marvel Characters. ((Yes GoG is counted as one imo XD)) 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Great to know. Looking フォワード, 前進, 楽しみにして to seeing it myself !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
My dad pissed me off. My dad just wants us to keep breeding my bird and wonders why we arent letting Smokey breed and every time we tell him its not healthy for them, its abusive to make them breeders for money, and that it adds to the problem that most parrots go to shitty homes, he just scoffs.

I called him out at constantly scoffing at it and hes like "You could make money"

So like. Fuck that greedy 尻, お尻 bastard. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Ill stuff that asshole in a cage with a woman and force them to have children for money. See how he fucking likes it. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Not really but still. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I dont HATE him as much as I sound like I do. I just refuse to forgive him または give him any leeway または even truly see him as my dad / family until he gets his behavior straightened a bit and honestly and genuinely makes amends and realizes how shitty of a person he was / still sometimes is 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, smart charismatic people are some of the last people あなた want to trust. They can analyze people way too well, and with charisma, they can pull strings way too well to make things happe-

.... oh shit wait. 投稿されました 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Lol! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Also a ランダム fact

Birds are literally dinosaurs

I raise baby 恐竜 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Also, あなた doubt it until あなた hear what baby cockatiels sound like. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
link 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Also ランダム fact about Riku

On an average, I make sure to get at least 30-60 分 of bird 動画 within each day.

It makes me happy. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
On another note, as I begin talking of my plans for the future and all, the rate of which my 愛 and knowledge on birds began to become well known rapidly sped up

At this point, I can now expect that if I hear any talk of birds between two people and there seems to be disagreement または uncertainty of facts, that within five 分 Ill hear "Hey Riku! あなた are the bird expert, give us some info on this topic!" across the room 投稿されました 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
It’s expected によって now I imagine:) 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Im just shaking my head here at this argument between two people over Akashi.

One side is arguing "Akashi doesnt care for team work and bringing people together and only cares about winning." The other side is arguing "No, Akashi is all for team work and bring people together. Its one of his strongest characteristics and his main role in his team."

And Im just like.... Neither of あなた are right または wrong. あなた are just ignoring an entire half of his character. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Like I dont even know how they just ignore one side または the other. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Honestly I really need to see "The Last Game" since there is a lot もっと見る interaction between Bokushi and Oreshi. 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
GONNA WATCH INFINITY WAR TODAY.

#HYPE 投稿されました 1年以上前
BlindBandit92 コメントしました…
It was a great movie. 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ #ThanosDemandsYourSilence lol !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Annnd my dad didnt understand me when I 発言しました we had to leave early cos itd be busy / sold out XD So going tomorrow! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Decided to take the trumpet solo in the Game of Thrones theme for Zeppie cos she seemed happy enough that we were playing it, I figured Id do that in her name as well. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, Im tired as hell despite me constantly sleeping at least an 時 または two early most nights.

I am really just a permanently exhausted and tired bun.

I just want a good night to sleep and all.

.... did I not have a weekend to rest または something? I dont really remember 5 days back XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
take care of ya riku =( and try to sleep if ya can , want to see ya healthy 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ This, pretty much. Make sure あなた rest whenever あなた are able to. Still hyped for #RelaxedRikubun at some point !!!! 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts 発言しました …
こんにちは this probably sounds really weird but I 愛 あなた guys. Feel free to ignore this if あなた want. Most people either feel very uncomfortable または just don’t understand.
Stay Alive |-/ 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Its cool dood XD 1年以上前
nightiee コメントしました…
あなた too 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Most people could feel uncomfortable but I doubt that they wouldn't understand. Your feelings are much appreciated. Right back at あなた !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
So in my school we have this thing called a Senior Exit Project required to let us graduate and all where we have to present a powerpoint to a panel of teachers about our plans and all

I dont get why everyone is freaking out, trying to memorize it, and some barely passing it.

I did little to no preparation other than setting up the power point and just によって talking about what I did for my Job Shadow and why I wanna do what I wanna do, I got a perfect score on the mock 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Relax. Talk genuinely and tell them what あなた feel and mean. Its not that hard. I get the shy introverts struggling with it, but even some of the large known extroverts are stressing out 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Good job. I bet you’re glad that’s over thou! |-/ 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly if I watched Madoka Magica again I feel Id relate to Kyoko もっと見る than I did the first time 投稿されました 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
I could see あなた relating a LIL bit to Mai from Ghost Hunt 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Kyoko has always been one of the Characters that interested me the most in this Series. I am pretty curious about which Character I could mostly relate myself when I finally continue and go even further with this アニメ !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Yeah honestly though, I am such an extrovert.

Now that Im not a ball of anxiety, depression, angst, and massive distrust, I find that a lot of my goals surround people and having them around me and being a speaker and stuff.

Im not even an ambivert. Im a strict extrovert XD Just a highly selective one at that. 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
link 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Wow 5hats pretty cool 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
❤️ 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Alright Im back. And with an emote of my own. -x- 投稿されました 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
lol 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Good to know. Welcome back !!!! 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
welcome back wanta! 1年以上前
sunny
TheLefteris24 発言しました …
Attention everyone! ''Rikubun'' has been added to the 一覧 of Nicknames available for Riku. I would like to make this Official. Fluffy Rikubun will certainly be referred to as such from now on.

KANPAI !!!! 投稿されました 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Got it :^; 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Uh what was that I just did?! 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ Are あなた talking about the Emoji あなた made? It certainly seems unusual. A Typo, I guess? 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Yup. lol 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts 発言しました …
<3 thanks for the hope 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Keep the hope alive. <3 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Preach 🙏 !!!! 1年以上前
nightiee コメントしました…
Keep the 鍬 alive 1年以上前
2ntyoneplts コメントしました…
Oh Satan! XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I always wanna write but dont have the energy and/or the creative flow XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Gosh Im tired XD Im still good and all tho guys. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Sorry about all the trauma talk out here lately XD I usually like to keep things fun and all, but Ive been too busy to be full on obsessed with anything, and dealing with trauma has been one of my largest focuses and goals these days XD

I dont any of あなた mind but I wanted to put that out there. 投稿されました 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
don`t say sorry riku we understand it totally 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ !!!! 1年以上前
BlindBandit92 コメントしました…
riku it's your club. You're entitled to do anything あなた want. It's a blog of sorts. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
XD I know. I just wanted to put it out there 1年以上前
sunny
TheLefteris24 発言しました …
Also......

HAIL HYDRA !!!! 投稿されました 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
xD leftie 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
XD !!!! 1年以上前
sunny
TheLefteris24 発言しました …
#PidgeonLivesMatterToo !!!! 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
#PigeonLivesMatterToo 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ Preach !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
So I asked my therapist out of curiosity and all, and I do have PTSD apparently. 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
I see. It makes a lot of sense when thinking about it !!!! 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Just gotta keep urging Riku to shoot someone in broad daylight. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Aye 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Riku: The Highly Selective Extrovert. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I actually saw that while scrolling Tumblr and I think that 説明 fits me VERY well XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Better than Ambivert tbh XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
WOW MY DAD JUST DID THE MOST CARING THING I EVER HEARD HIM DO IN ALL MY CHILDHOOD

HE OFFERED TO GO ON A WALK WITH MY MOM TO GET HER OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN SHES DISTRESSED COS OF MY SISTER 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
omg

My mom and dad are watching a horror 表示する about where parents go crazy and try to kill their children and my dads like "Its like your husband" 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
At least we now know hes aware 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
I... Kinda have my concerns about your father watching Horror Shows... 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
^Eh... hes a child 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
What I planned on doing:
-Get all the last Z Crystals in Pokemon
-Write another piece to my stories
-Write RPs
-Relax
-Play Hitman and other Steam
-Take today off to relax and have fun as I rejected activities to do so

What I got done:
-Six scholarships
-Researched and planned out もっと見る of my college stuff
-Got my Health homework done
-Researched ランダム stuff
-Finished two essays for an application
-Finished everything I can do right now for Davis 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I had a super productive day, but Im not satisfied since I barely got anything at all I planned today done XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I did one post to the RP and like... Kinda took some Flight Rising time but thats not really there either? XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
UC Davis: For a chance at a $1000-4000 scholarship, write an essay on your leadership experiences and how it affected あなた and will continue to help あなた in the future

Me: *flips through 900 things I could talk about cos leadership has played a major role in my life and Im super thankful for it and very passionate over it* 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Dude, Id write a 14 page essay on Leadership for free 雌犬 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Like I literally might even be dead if I never found myself in a leadership position some how. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
PLUS IF THEY ACCEPT ME THEY WILL BRING ME IN FOR AN INTERVIEW AND I LIKE THAT KIND OF STUFF ESPECIALLY IF ITS ON THE TOPIC OF LEADERSHIP 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Personally, I dont really believe too much in not chasing what I want. Its part of the reason I cant sit and relax too much, but if I determine I want something, I weigh out how badly Im willing to want it, then charge full on ahead.

I make excuses from time to time, but if I cant get something done in the long run, its often capable to blame myself for not taking action. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
At least partially blame myself that is. There is a level of rationality to how much one can and cannot control 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, I personally wonder where I stand on the trauma scale. I know I probably fit under the "traumatized" title, but I dont really know if I actually fit one of the trauma disorders. Its something Ill probably ask my therapist または psychiatrist about at some point. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I'm probably a lot better now. Had a really bad moment related to shitty stuff of the past and all but direclty after a lot of the depression and massive amounts of anxiety withdrew for the most part. Ive been shakey when I wake up for the past few days, but I think Im good so for anyone worried または concerned, I should be fine.

Thank あなた so much to everyone who watched out for me and helped. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Some part of the whole fiasco with Wanta 'triggered' something I think and it kind of let もっと見る of my really bad mental state thats usually disappears when Im online carried in 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im back to normal I think. And now that I see a massive unprocessed wound, Ill probably take goals to addressing it in my 次 therapy session and individually on my own. 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
It is certainly good to know about the progress that has been made and will continue to do so. For the both of you, I hope. Always here when needed, Riku. We 愛 あなた too !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
We officially have a baby bird. 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
NOICE! A NEW MEMBER IN THE FLOCK! CONGRATULATIONS, FANPOP'S LOCAL BIRDKEEPER !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
We might have two 1年以上前
GDragon612 コメントしました…
congrats riku our birdmum =D *throws confetti and open a bottle of chamapaigne*, for the non alcoholics ジュース xD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
#StartingTheHitmanSeriesFromTheLastGame 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly though.

Akashi I am officially going to call my お気に入り character from now on. He super deserves it. He absolutely does deserve it. Outside of loving the character, he has always been consistently a significant figure in helping me process and work through issues, helping me make the right decision, calming down, self reflecting, etc.

And fun fact, his 動画 can calm down one of my poor mental states so quickly and successfully 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
That I have this thing on my phone called "Emergency Akashi" since I could be in a really bad mental state and if I recognize it, Akashi 動画 can almost always return that bad mental state to AT LEAST a neutral または calm and managable mental state 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Even if his character sucked ass, the fact one fictional item could have helped me so much through my mental health journey and all, it alone is deserving of it 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Yeah Im doing better now but honestly, I still need to take time to chill. Who knows I might wake up and have another bad time または something. I cant be sure but Imma take it somewhat easy. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I apologize if it takes me a bit to get back to being my old energetic and peppy self I like to be on here and usually am.

The 最近 events through me into a bad loop and pool that might take a while to fully get out of.

Im alright though. I just don't feel in the right place to have the energy and exorbitant positivity I usually do. Its not anything Wanta did または anything Im pretty sure.

Thank あなた to everyone that has been putting effort into this situation and helping me out. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Zeppie コメントしました…
Take all the time あなた need. 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
It is understandable really. Take your time, Riku !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Feeling better ish rn 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
A little 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Figuring out which Akashi アイコン to use when あなた have so many is hard. 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Literally every time I want to display a new アイコン showcasing お気に入り of mine. It takes a while !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
For me I have to like the アイコン and have that feeling like my mood at the moment likes the アイコン either cos it represent it または because it soothes または it just feels fitting at the time 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Its liking it and then finding one that I feel is kinda nice at the moment and like the look of how it looks when I post 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Same here XD Relatabilty is a major factor when I am going to display an Icon. It makes things all the もっと見る harder honestly with such a variety !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I can always rely on Akashi and KnB to neutralize shitty mental health crap. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
ランダム Anxiety: "I want to die."

Me: How about no あなた over-dramatic sensitive edgelord? Take your damn 尻, お尻 medicine 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I don't have time this morning to read through the uh... five または six messages since on early start days I always wake up for just barely enough time to work through my regular routine.

But I see there is a lot of misunderstanding the in meaning and intent of the words.

And also, I figured with how often Ive talked about my issues with relationships with other people before addressing it with them to あなた specifically, that あなた knew the difference between mine and Zeppie's stance 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I dont believe in going directly to the friend if the situation is serious または important enough. Doing that is how あなた make bad, emotional, and irrational ideas off of current feelings. For major and very important issues, it is best to go to other people for アドバイス and a 秒 opinion. Ive always lived によって that and only kept my avoidance of following it for Zeppie in specific since she gets majorly hurt によって it otherwise. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I wanted to say that one for everyone who reads this. 1年以上前
BlindBandit92 コメントしました…
Honestly I might be out of turn. But if something is really important. I wouldn't make an exception. It might seems like I would be a dick または something. But I rather be a dick than let a problem fester with no easy way または solving it. 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
Feel free to say your peace as much as あなた like, Blind. Riku apparently won't talk to me about it for another 時 so...*shrug* 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Everyone gets all upset when things that aren't directly related to the story in Pokemon games are not post game. I loved 登録する Avenue from Black 2 and White 2. I loved where they placed it and found it entirely relevant and helpful 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
あなた know, one of the shittiest things about mental health, especially as a kid and teenager, is that it steals away your childhood.

A lot of people have good memories of their high school life, they remember the fun with their friends, they remember all the fun risks and activities they did...

But when it comes to mental health, あなた just kind of have all those times stolen.

I personally realize... As a senior, I'm far too late to regather them

But Ill cherish what I have. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Ill be happy that I have it right now and not let what I have left go to waste because of what I already ロスト 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I do wish I could have my childhood back, heck I wish I could REMEMBER my childhood again, but theres no point in crying over spilt milk. Past is past, its time to accept it and 移動する on. 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I owe people in my highschool もっと見る credit and appreciation than I give them since I've spent most of my time around them being a reserved, angsty, emotionally-scared child.

Like one of my フレンズ from 7th grade... never really opened up at all to him. Apparently I was a huge inspiration and role model for him. We talked a lot but it was really one sided

または the trumpet brother of mine I'm not dating. He dealt with so much of my stupid jokes and I 愛 him. Hes family. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Those two really helped me out even if it was no where near direct. Honestly, they both opened their doors to me if I ever needed to escape my house even though they dont even know the tiniest tip of the iceberg of how horrible my house can and could get 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Ill be honest. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
For the first time, Ill say it. I will miss them. I will be sad. But its not bad. Its kind of nice. 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Geesh. Lucy - The Eternity She Wished For is a super sad story

#FeelsBad

#Sad 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
College: Has your dad been physically present in California for at least three years-

Me: Not emotionally present but sure I guess hes been physically present 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
"And squaring numbers are just like women, if they are under thirteen just.. do them in your head" ~ Bo Burnham 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Thats actually going to be my クラブ new quote 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
True, I suppose !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
My body is so damn worn out XD

Going to the fitness center for like 45 分 is always good for when the brain is being stupid. 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
#Relatable !!!! 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
It is great to know Riku. Exercise will do あなた pretty good !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Heres to never having heard your dad ever say the word "love" "care" または "proud" to あなた in a positive way over the seventeen almost eighteen years of being alive.

Heres to him instead liking to get violent and yelling when anyone even remotely asks for him to say something remotely similar to it

Heres to him getting your therapist to give up after thirty 分 of being asked to compliment you. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
At the very least I get "good jobs" here and there for doing good things regarding his money and my money. Its something. 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
TFW あなた get hit によって a sudden wave of mild depression and anxiety and are about to post about it

Then realize あなた forgot to take your anxiety medication this breakfast and thats probably part of it. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, I dont think I can watch the new season of スーパーナチュラル または really much of any of it until I deal with my issues entirely.

It brings back bad flashes of really bad coping mechanisms and mental states I used to way too heavily relate to back when I practically binge watched it.

Sam and Dean are strong members of my relatable character list, but theres a reason for it. Some of those 名言・格言 hit way too close to ホーム and their dynamic feels too personal. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Like anyone else get that 'flash' feeling in their head when something reminds them of something unpleasant または tempts to bring あなた back into a 前 bad mental state? Like あなた dont actually fall back to it, but あなた feel the pull for a 秒 in your head and its kinda uncomfortable but not immensely so? 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Like a mini panic of a warning? 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
XD this is just a 質問 for anyone XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
@Me a 年 前 saying "Am I the only one that wonders when my signature would randomly become something fancy? Like adults seem to always have one (parents and all) and some of my classmates have one then theres me thats all like "What is cursive?"

Yes, it did happen. I dont know when but it did 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly going through my ウォール for an 記事 is interesting cos firstly, this アイコン makes all the posts super hilarious and secondly, because Im really realizing how horrifically depressed I was.

Even もっと見る shocking since I actually tried not to post it on here too much and to keep it subtle.

Honestly super concerned for my past self 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Me: Okay I literally wasted an 時 of my time doing the most stupid and wasteful things. Before I can feel comfortable doing osmething slightly unproductive but also not stupid and wasteful, I have to do something fully productive. *groan* Ugh fine 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Flights Rising is literally the largest waste of my time but I still do it so much XD 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
That's me with whatever ランダム app has my interest for the 月 XD 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, I have a weird relationship with change. I hate change coming into my life up until it hits me and there is no return. Cos once I jump straight into it または get run over によって whatever change came my way, I just kind of go 100% into it and embrace it to the point I 愛 it.

Im someone really happy and comfortable with my natural normal schedule, but Im also someone who likes to take change as an opportunity to massively fix things. So its just interesting. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Im officially committed to UC Davis XD

God I have to many massively long trips coming up in the future 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
That is great to know. Wish あなた all the best Riku. Have a good progress most of all !!!! 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Pokemon knew what they were doing when they let あなた name your rival. Honestly it's the most cathartic release. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
IM FINALLY ホーム AFTER A 15 時 ROUND TRIP OF DRIVING OVER A LIKE 35 TRIP OVERALL.

IM FINALLY NOT SITTING

...

and Im back at my computer. :) Nice. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Maybe even 16 hours idk XD 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Welcome back XD !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, being a "leader" is a great feeling and isnt something Id really ever want to give up. I always 愛 having a team that I can work with and helping them / maximizing their potentials and getting work done and all.

Plus the respect and ability to influence another person's life positively is always nice. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Watching a PS4 gamer try PC Gaming for the first time is hilarious. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Currently off in Davis checking out UC Davis today and tomorrow. Took like... an eight 時 drive to get here but Im here. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
link

Please do take and enjoy.

Wanta and I put a lot of work into it XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
I certainly did enjoyed it. Well done, to both of あなた !!!! 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Riku confirmed that Professor Oak is a Totem Pokemon in Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon and can be unlocked with a sticker. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
There is something really wonderful about learning about yourself in all ways possible. Looking deep inside yourself and finding all the good, bad, weaknesses, and strengths and accepting them. Its really wonderful to be honest.

I never loved myself もっと見る than when I started doing this.

It hurts like Lucifer's wrath on steroids at first, but the longer and longer あなた do it... the もっと見る magical and wonderful and secure and confident あなた feel. 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
It is certainly wonderful recognizing that. As I 発言しました before, pretty admirable !!!! 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Seeing あなた making those positive remarks alone feels pretty satisfying to me as well :') !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
God Im tired XD 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Being tired honestly isnt good for my mental state Im guessing. Go wonder XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Im alright tho. Its just amusing the amount of intrusive thoughts Ive been playing baseball with 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
#StrikeAllThoseHomeruns 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Relatable XD !!!! 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Riku is oppressing me! 投稿されました 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Never name your Pokemon after mental issues.

Duskull used Foresight.

Codependance was identified.

Me: "...." 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
:v 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly, if I got into Harry Potter, Id probably fall in 愛 with Snape. The issue however is that Harry Potter is everywhere. After 星, つ星 Wars and Kylo, I fear having two 人気 series holding characters I 愛 投稿されました 1年以上前
BlindBandit92 コメントしました…
あなた would 愛 Snape. Snape would be hands down your favorite. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
He currently is from the little, tiny bit I know from the series XD 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^^ I agree about Snape as well. He certainly is your kind of Character XD !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Jeesh. Yuki Kajura is an amazing composer. Pandora Hearts OST, Fate OST, Madoka Magica OST, Sword Art Online OST, Tsubasa Chronicles OST.

Those are all some of my お気に入り works geesh.

*knows もっと見る アニメ osts than animes* 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
I have listened to some of them and I agree that there are quite a few amazing Tracks. Pretty interested to check out the rest !!!! 1年以上前
BlindBandit92 コメントしました…
You've listened to the fate ost even though あなた haven't really seen the anime? lol 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
あなた continue to sin, Riku. Not that I cannot understand that but still lol !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
I decided and I am committing to it.

I am going to process through my trauma and try to see if I can clear the fog on my memories and bring back, experience, remember, and accept what happened for everything it is.

Its not going to be fun, but I want to be able to pull myself back together before I leave off to college.

Honestly the hard part is though I only get really bad over my trauma when its abruptly brought up. I dont really get connected to it much on command 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
The thing about trauma though, especially at a young age, is that it steals away a lot of yourself and a lot of your ability to be an entire person. あなた forget a lot. あなた loose your history and your past. あなた loose your childhood. あなた loose your sense of identity. あなた become a grandly incomplete person 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I really cant be me at my full potential until I work through it fully so as much as I hate it, I want to do the most with my life. 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
That is quite an admirable way to look at things, Riku. Making peace with the past is a major step towards one's Improvement. I too believe あなた can do it. There is no doubt about that !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly one of the things i appreciate the most in フレンズ and people close to me are people who have experienced stuggle and can manage and handle it well.

I really appreciate and like that since they usually do good with アドバイス and keeping me under control when Im at my worst. c: 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I often, especially in thr past, need people who can handle and keep things in a good perspective while keeping me from doing anything stupid off of stress または anything 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Cos I can lack self control at times and have too many demons on my shoulder. Its kinda why I like Lefteris a lot. Hes my "positive echo chamber". Hes full of nice health lines to encourage positive growth. 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
I am all about encouraging one's Growth XD It helps when I feel myself strongly relating with 発言しました person. I am always here for you, Riku ^_^ !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
DUDE. POKEMON GENERATIONS LOOKS SICK.

THEY A ADDRESSED POKEMON BLACK 2 AND WHITE 2 SCENE SO NICE.

IMMA WATCH IT. 投稿されました 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Wantadog's depressing introspective about Love.

愛 is nice when あなた think of it like "Oh two people who were meant for each other" but sadly the case is that when they say true 愛 is one in a million, they mean it. 90% of relationships are not true love. 90% of marriages are not true love. 90% of true 愛 CASES are NOT true love. Odds are no one here has even seen "true love" in action. 投稿されました 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
"Love is not equal" 1年以上前
wantadog コメントしました…
I won't dismiss someone else's relationship, but my statement on the main post holds true. 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
^ I'll have to agree with it !!!! 1年以上前
wantadog 発言しました …
Three cheers for depressing yourself によって asking for the impossible 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Also, Im a really strong advocate for taking medication for mental health issues, especially when it starts to get too extreme.

Taking medication for anxiety, no matter how much actually thinking about taking it gave me もっと見る anxiety, was probably one of the best decisions of my life

It lowered how bad my anxiety got to a manageable level. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Personally before I got it, I got the horrible feeling like I was going to kill my real self off. It felt like a half assed indirect suicide. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I actually got super suicidal over it I think. But it really helped in the long run. 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
I mean I was already suicidal during that time, thats why my therapist was like "You really need to see a psychiatrist and get medication", but it made it worse 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Ive been on medication for like.... ten months I think now. Its been helpful without a doubt 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Its interesting how Psychosis and Dissociation are commonly seen talked about in the same areas. They are strictly different, but I can see where a lot of the similarities come in play.

Psychosis is a break away from reality, dissociation is a cut off from reality. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Baujel is such a wonderful character 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
The only issue I have to be honest with 書く his character is that I によって no means depict him によって his actual age XD There is no way a kid would act this way at his age XD 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
But sh.. this isnt a formal 書く peace. I dont have to be that realistic. Its just hobby 書く and its a side story to depict things. Maybe Im 書く it how he remembers it so it comes out as もっと見る mature since people have trouble fully making themselves as immature as they were when they think back to their past experiences :v 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
tfw あなた have symptoms of a large portion of mental health issues but write a character whose main issue is the ONE あなた dont so あなた gotta research :v 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Okay I decided. I will 愛 Lusamine begrudgingly 投稿されました 1年以上前
TheLefteris24 コメントしました…
Riku: I hate you... But I 愛 you... But I hate あなた !!!! 1年以上前
Riku114 コメントしました…
Accurate 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
But for people that struggle to realize the difference between "OCD" ins a colloquial sense and OCD in a literal diagnosis sense, the single phrase of "If I dont do _____, then ________ will happen / ____ might happen" paired with genuine anxiety if the latter statement occurs to the point it locks あなた into doing the first statement. 投稿されました 1年以上前
Riku114 発言しました …
Honestly I just found out Pokemon Sun and Moon completely changed Lusamine's character to only be 90-95% of a shitty mother that she was in the game and totally pretty much entirely lightened the theme of abusive / toxic families seen in the game so....

Yeah that annoys me.

Some children have had shitty parents and stuff. It would be nice if they werent written off as "not kid friendly" または whatever 投稿されました 1年以上前