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壁紙
added by TitanicLeoKate
Source: tumblr
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: ilol
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: icanrelate
added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr
added by Jeffersonian
posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open によって themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call あなた Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until あなた hear the penny あなた dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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"We need" means "I want"

"It's your decision" means "The correct decision should be obvious によって now"

"Do what あなた want "means" You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk" means "I need to complain


"Sure...go ahead" means"I don't want あなた to.

"I'm not upset"means "Of course I'm upset, あなた moron."

"You're...so manly "means" あなた need a shave and あなた sweat a lot."

"You're certainly attentive tonight." means     "Is sex all あなた ever think about?"

"I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" means     "I'm on my period."

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" means     "I...
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added by blackrose294
added by Ranty-cat
Source: Twitter
added by iamjune
added by SilentForce
added by DeiJambastion
Source: Dei
added by tanyya
posted by Nick16
Why did I get divorced????

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do あなた mind if I goin to the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 分 later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling,"SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
added by Mollymolata
added by shaneoohmac13
I 愛 skirts and dresses. They are so pretty. Every woman walks down looking good in them no matter who they are. I could wear any of those dresses and skirts that anyone from kim Kardashian wears to the スカート that older women wear across the street. I would wear one on a daily basis but there is a problem I'm a man.

Men can only wear trousers and shorts, if anyone sees a man in a スカート または a dress it is considered wierd または stupid. But is it? A アンケート i took on this club of 20 people, 75% 発言しました yes to say that men should wear womens clothes and still be men and I am one of them.

Most people would...
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