1. If they want to loan あなた money, tell them あなた just filed for bankruptcy and あなた could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are あなた today?" say, "Why do あなた want to know?" Alternately, あなた can tell them, "I'm so glad あなた asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is 芝居 up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."
3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them...
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