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posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell あなた a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give あなた the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win または lose fight its one of those that あなた hate.
Cheral:Do あなた have that one girl that あなた don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a ブル so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize ブル for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact あなた to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects...
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Ok this is what i do when i like a boy so just saying NOT AN EXPERT!if some of あなた do the same thing say so in your comments. if this helps あなた guys, GREAT! if anyone has any 質問 most likely i will be もっと見る than happy to help ok here it goes.....ps dont make fun of my spelling ok NOW here it goes.....
1)i twirl my hair between my fingers
2)i constantly look at them (corner of my eye not ful-on-makes-you-think-im-a-stalker-chick look)yet when they are talking to me i act shy and look at their shoes
3)i laugh even when they're jokes are stupid
4)i get real nervous when they are around and act...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Mercury
Symbol: The Twins
Your stone: Aquamarine
Life Pursuit: To explore a little bit of everything.
Vibration: Intense mental energy
Gemini's Secret Desire: To be ahead of the crowd

In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini's ruler - Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news - which might explain why those born under the sign of the 'Twins' are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Don't say we are bitches unless u want our brothers to come after u.

2. If we say we 愛 u u better say it back または u better アヒル, 鴨 and run.

3. If u hit us trust me when i say u just drove into fuckville.

4. When we ask u to "give us some space" u better get as far as u can.

5. If u cheat on us u may want to hide and stay hiden.

6. *4 middle school kids* If あなた want to get serious like in ベッド serious u have to be jokeing または high または SOMETHING!

7. If we say we're pissed off keep the hell out of our way.

8. *keep in mind* never and i mean NEVER say that we need to calm down.

9. *important* NEVER TELL US WHAT TO DO! NEVER!!!

10. Be sure to remind us that we're beautiful because we can be insecure.

11. When we ask if these pants make our butts look big AWAYS SAY NO!!

12. Sometimes we just want to be huged または some wa to know u 愛 us.
posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. あなた have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin

Even if happiness forgets あなた a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert

If あなた want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

Happiness is never stopping to think if あなた are. ~Palmer Sondreal

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton

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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that あなた just wanna パンチ in the face , then someohow , あなた end up in a relationship with them , あなた fall in 愛 , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing あなた want to burn either (:]) Well if あなた still have feelings for that person im gonna help あなた get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap あなた guys (: , ohk so あなた could first start off によって doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave あなた on 火災, 火 ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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posted by karpach_13
Be proud of your gender
Reasons why あなた shoud be proud if your a


1. Phone conversations are over in 30 秒 flat

2. Movie nudity is almost always female

3. あなた know stuff about tanks

4. A five 日 vacation requires only 1 suitcase

5. Toilet lines are 80% shorter

6. あなた can open all your own jars

7. Old フレンズ don't give あなた crap if you've gained weight

8. Your 尻, お尻 is never a factor in a job interview

9. All your orgasms are real

10. A ビール gut does not make あなた invisible to the opposite sex

11. あなた can go to the toilet without a support group

12. Your last name stays put

13. あなた can kill your own...
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posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are あなた tired of always ordering ピザ the same way? Well, this lists will keep あなた entertained for over 90 ピザ orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival ピザ place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh,...
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1)Devise a secret code with your フレンズ then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask 質問 so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s 質問 in slow motion 2)Answer 質問 only with one word
3)Scream ランダム words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” または “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer 質問 in a different language
13)Fake spasms
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あなた know you're a 'Furry Fan' when...
Rabies replaces cancer as your number one disease concern.
Your お気に入り character from 星, つ星 Trek is Lieutenant M'Ress (from the animated series).
You think "Beauty and the Beast" was spoiled によって Beast becoming human.
You replace Elle McPherson pinups with those of Amy the Squirrel, Erma Felna, または Minerva Mink.
You slip the word 'fur' into as many places as possible in your mail.
You can identify a captionless book illustration as being Doug Wingers' in under ten seconds.
None of your お気に入り female (or male) fiction characters are actually human.
You go...
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posted by meow_girl
*One night,Selena,Demi and Taylor were having a concert.And Miley was there for some reason.*

In the middle of true フレンズ Joe Jonas ran on stage,knocked the ギター player (Billy 線, レイ Cyrus) off the stage,Breaking his leg.

Miley:That was my dad!You ass!

Joe:Yeah no one cares.Demi,Selena,Taylor I 愛 あなた all!

Miley:What about me?

Joe:What about あなた man whore?

Miley:I'm a girl!

Joe:That's not what your boyfriend said!

Miley:At least I'm not pregnant like you!

Joe:Those were just rumors!!!


Joe:They were!


Simon:I don't believe you!

Demi:Simon Cowell?What are you...
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posted by phangirl2009
Chapter 1
I kept my eyes half closed even though I was awake. I had a full visual of what was going on around me and sadly, that meant my foster mother, Mrs. Lovett waking me up.
    “Emily, Emily,” she repeated in a sweet tone. This would have have made any other gal happy except I knew this would be over to soon.
    “I’m awake!” I yelp out smiling. Her wicked smile always made me happy.
    “Guess what? There’s good news.”
    “Have あなた ever noticed good news...
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Being locked in a walk-in closet must get boring...

Somethings to do to pass time;

- クロス dress.

- Make faces in the mirror.

- Make a mannequin out of something, dress it up, and throw a お茶, 紅茶 party.

- See how long あなた can walk in the most uncomfortable shoes.

- Dress in the opposite of your style.

- Try to touch the ceiling.

- [Like a pile of leaves] Make a pile of clothes and run and dive into it.

- See which clothes are edible.

- See if あなた find anything misc. that really just shouldn't be in a closet.

- If あなた do, lay it all out and try to see what it does.

- Make ropes によって tying shirts/pants/dresses together, and hang them from the ceiling, and スイング from one to another, yelling like Tarzan.

- Reorganize によって colour.
posted by ilovepenguins
1) If 愛 is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should あなた believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that イヌ 愛 to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at あなた if あなた blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a 木, ツリー falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the 五角形, 米国防総省 were...
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posted by jedigal1990
okay i decided to write an 記事 to grip about things on here that really bug me if あなた don't like it deal with it

okay number one grip
- i know i already wrote an 記事 about this but my number one gripe on here is people posting twilight ジャンク on this spot and other nontwilight spots seriously and then あなた wonder why we get upset believe it または not some of us don't like twilight so 移動する on and keep it where it belongs thats all i will say about that

second gripe
- people who complain about people's bad grammer または spelling we are not in a fucking english class so who cares stop bugging...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
1) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.

2) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour.

3) Improvise Italian operas.

4) Gossip about someone to their face.

5) Answer every 質問 with a question.

6) Repeat yourself constantly.

7) Act like a member of the opposite sex.

Cool Repeat yourself constantly.

9) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.

10) Repeat yourself constantly.

11) Change what あなた repeat every now and then.

12) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.

13) Change what あなた repeat every now and then.

14) Talk...
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1. "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.

2. "Take one capsule によって mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.

3. "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.

4. "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a マフィン at a 7-11.

5. "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.

6. "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.

7. "Serving suggestion:...
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posted by patrisha727
A typical American eats 28 pigs in his/her lifetime.

Americans eat 20.7 pounds of キャンディー per person annually. The Dutch eat three times as much.

Americans spend approximately $25 billion each 年 on beer.

Americans spent an estimated $267 billion dining out in 1993.

An etiquette writer of the 1840's advised, "Ladies may wipe their lips on the tablecloth, but not blow their noses on it."

Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented in 1889, was the first ready-mix 食 to be sold commercially.

Caffeine: there are 100 to 150 milligrams of caffeine in an eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee, 10 milligrams...
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posted by moo000
1. Wait for a rainy day. Por paper confetti into sombodys closed umbrella and wait for them to go outside and open it.

2. Use a pin to prick a hole near the 上, ページのトップへ of sombodys drinking straw.

3. Find an old rag. Put a coin on the floor and stand near by. When people come along and try to pick up the coin rip the rag so they think they have torn their pants.

4. When a friend is drinking a can of something fizzy, wait untill they are not looking and poor in some sugar. The sugar will make the drink froth up and poor out of the can.

5. Keep sending your frends on fool's erands. - this means asking them...
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