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posted by spunkyonyx
If あなた have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, あなた have $1.19. あなた also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the リンカーン Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest ランダム speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by cute20k
Do あなた have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause あなた to spit and ask あなた not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. あなた fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. あなた blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All 日 long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells あなた a joke and あなた say "LOL".

3. あなた watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. あなた have called out someone's screen name while making 愛 to your significant other.

5. あなた keep begging your フレンズ to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. あなた have to get a 2d phone line just so あなた can call ピザ Hut.

9. あなた go into labour and あなた stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like あなた for a minute, and then forget あなた afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are あなた doing something?” または “Have あなた eaten already?” are the first usual 質問 a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell あなた a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give あなた the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win または lose fight its one of those that あなた hate.
Cheral:Do あなた have that one girl that あなた don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a ブル so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize ブル for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact あなた to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects...
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posted by EllentheStrange
I am anti emo,because I don't the idea of them

mutilating themselves for no reason.I mean

sure,you have bullies at school and your mom

hates you,but I have those same problems.But I

don't cut,or dink,or do drugs.Emo Kids are just

pissing their life away cutting and killing

themselves over their little problems.You live in

a small town,nobody feels sorry for you.get a

haircut.There's no point to get

yourself.Everybody has problems.Deal with

them,but don't cut.Write または draw.Listen to music.

Do something else besides cut.And the posers are

even worst so I dislike them even more.They think

it will...
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Ok this is what i do when i like a boy so just saying NOT AN EXPERT!if some of あなた do the same thing say so in your comments. if this helps あなた guys, GREAT! if anyone has any 質問 most likely i will be もっと見る than happy to help ok here it goes.....ps dont make fun of my spelling ok NOW here it goes.....
1)i twirl my hair between my fingers
2)i constantly look at them (corner of my eye not ful-on-makes-you-think-im-a-stalker-chick look)yet when they are talking to me i act shy and look at their shoes
3)i laugh even when they're jokes are stupid
4)i get real nervous when they are around and act...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Gemini.
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Mercury
Symbol: The Twins
Your stone: Aquamarine
Life Pursuit: To explore a little bit of everything.
Vibration: Intense mental energy
Gemini's Secret Desire: To be ahead of the crowd


Description:
In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini's ruler - Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news - which might explain why those born under the sign of the 'Twins' are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Don't say we are bitches unless u want our brothers to come after u.

2. If we say we 愛 u u better say it back または u better アヒル, 鴨 and run.

3. If u hit us trust me when i say u just drove into fuckville.

4. When we ask u to "give us some space" u better get as far as u can.

5. If u cheat on us u may want to hide and stay hiden.

6. *4 middle school kids* If あなた want to get serious like in ベッド serious u have to be jokeing または high または SOMETHING!

7. If we say we're pissed off keep the hell out of our way.

8. *keep in mind* never and i mean NEVER say that we need to calm down.

9. *important* NEVER TELL US WHAT TO DO! NEVER!!!

10. Be sure to remind us that we're beautiful because we can be insecure.

11. When we ask if these pants make our butts look big AWAYS SAY NO!!

12. Sometimes we just want to be huged または some wa to know u 愛 us.
posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can あなた tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The ジョイスティック is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her もっと見る attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do あなた say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are あなた boys all in the same band?
A3: Do あなた guys all play for the Green ベイ, 湾 Packers?

Q: How do あなた make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. あなた have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets あなた a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If あなた want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if あなた are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten 分 intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people あなた can get
to 登録する in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department によって sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as あなた see fit.

9. When there are...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that あなた just wanna パンチ in the face , then someohow , あなた end up in a relationship with them , あなた fall in 愛 , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing あなた want to burn either (:]) Well if あなた still have feelings for that person im gonna help あなた get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap あなた guys (: , ohk so あなた could first start off によって doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave あなた on 火災, 火 ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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posted by karpach_13
Be proud of your gender
Reasons why あなた shoud be proud if your a

Guy



1. Phone conversations are over in 30 秒 flat

2. Movie nudity is almost always female

3. あなた know stuff about tanks

4. A five 日 vacation requires only 1 suitcase

5. Toilet lines are 80% shorter

6. あなた can open all your own jars

7. Old フレンズ don't give あなた crap if you've gained weight

8. Your 尻, お尻 is never a factor in a job interview

9. All your orgasms are real

10. A ビール gut does not make あなた invisible to the opposite sex

11. あなた can go to the toilet without a support group

12. Your last name stays put

13. あなた can kill your own...
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posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are あなた tired of always ordering ピザ the same way? Well, this lists will keep あなた entertained for over 90 ピザ orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival ピザ place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh,...
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1)Devise a secret code with your フレンズ then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask 質問 so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s 質問 in slow motion 2)Answer 質問 only with one word
3)Scream ランダム words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” または “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer 質問 in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If あなた have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal によって conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what あなた think."

7. Claim that あなた must always wear a bicycle ヘルメット as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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あなた know you're a 'Furry Fan' when...
Rabies replaces cancer as your number one disease concern.
Your お気に入り character from 星, つ星 Trek is Lieutenant M'Ress (from the animated series).
You think "Beauty and the Beast" was spoiled によって Beast becoming human.
You replace Elle McPherson pinups with those of Amy the Squirrel, Erma Felna, または Minerva Mink.
You slip the word 'fur' into as many places as possible in your mail.
You can identify a captionless book illustration as being Doug Wingers' in under ten seconds.
None of your お気に入り female (or male) fiction characters are actually human.
You go...
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posted by meow_girl
*One night,Selena,Demi and Taylor were having a concert.And Miley was there for some reason.*

In the middle of true フレンズ Joe Jonas ran on stage,knocked the ギター player (Billy 線, レイ Cyrus) off the stage,Breaking his leg.

Miley:That was my dad!You ass!

Joe:Yeah no one cares.Demi,Selena,Taylor I 愛 あなた all!

Miley:What about me?

Joe:What about あなた man whore?

Miley:I'm a girl!

Joe:That's not what your boyfriend said!

Miley:At least I'm not pregnant like you!

Joe:Those were just rumors!!!

Selena:Suuuuuure...

Joe:They were!

All:Riiiiiiiiiight......

Simon:I don't believe you!

Demi:Simon Cowell?What are you...
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