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posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did あなた get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been 与えられた your share !

HE: Will あなた come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make あなた very happy
SHE: Why? Are あなた leaving?

HE: What would あなた say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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posted by nessienjake
I found this on the internet :)

101 Ways To Annoy People
...........................................
1. Sing the バットマン theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with フレンズ in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If あなた have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours によって hooking a ビデオカメラ to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in...
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 X(
X(
I bet I know what some of あなた are thinking, "OMG! How can someone hate their family? That's horrible, what a brat または what a b***h!"

Well, here's why :)

My mother is extremely controlling and b****es all the damn time and criticizes every little thing I do five times a freaking day! For example, I leave the door open for two 分 when I'm only getting something and going out again, and she hollers at me about how I'm wasting heat and how she's going to take my ipodの, ipod または laptop for a week if I left it open again. または when I do all of the chores she expects me to do and I do them how she'd see...
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posted by Gracie1995
The Full 一覧 from the book STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE – How to find social success with the urban-dwelling middle classes によって Christian Lander

#129 Banksy
#128 Camping
#127 Where the Wild Things Are
#126 Vespa Scooters
#125 Bob Marley
#124 Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
#123 Mad Men
#122 Moleskine Notebooks
#121 Funny または Ironic Tattoos
#120 Taking a 年 Off
#119 Sea Salt
#118 Ugly Sweater Parties
#117 Political Prisoners
#116 Black 音楽 that Black People Don’t Listen to Anymore
#115 Promising to Learn a New Language
#114 America
#113 Halloween
#112 Hummus
#111 エンドウ, エンドウ豆 Coats
#110 Frisbee Sports
#109 The Onion
#108...
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posted by shiriny
one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.

もっと見る famous left hander:

drew barry more

Angelina jolie

nicole kidman

Marilyn monroe

demi moore

Mary-kate and ashley olsen

julia roberts

Hans christian anderson

mark twain

Billy 線, レイ cyrus

celine dion

Pierce brosnan

jim carry

Hugh jackman

brad pitt

Michelangelo

leonardo davinci

Picasso

newton

Albert einstein

george bush

charlie chaplin

cary grant

napeleon bonaparte

bill gates

marie curie

rachel adams

mark spitz
posted by funnyshawna
Apparently, this is what I do when I'm tired and slightly depressed. Go figure.

101 Great Uses for Eye-Patches!

1.    Wear it to cover your eye.
2.    Wear it to cover the hole where your eye used to be.
3.    Use it to prevent a hole ever being where your eye should be.
4.    Wear it to shield your eye from insects and other flying material.
5.    Wear two and pretend あなた are blind.
6.    Wear none and pretend あなた can see.
7.    Wear them as sunglasses when rendezvousing...
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Chapter 2—Canada . . . eh.
    Okay, so this is an Eメール to my friend who moved to Canada…eh. Her name is Brenna. Eh. I just thought id include it for your benefit. Eh.

“Lahdiedahdiedahdoodoodahdohetehtakwjeorna!
that is my new お気に入り song, just so あなた know. omg ;i wrote もっと見る in
my big book of nothingness, but im at school, so i don’t have it with
me:( its cool it deals with begging for money, リス clothing,
headband helmets, and furry insides! i bet u can’t wait! ha-ha! yay for
the awesome book of nothingness! i put the first part of it on the
internet and ppl thought...
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i found this on the internet and i thought it was funny!

I may not be フレッド Flintstone but I can sure make your ベッド rock!



Is your dad a thief または something? Because someone ストール, 盗んだ the stars and put them into your eyes!



I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?



Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?



Can I buy あなた a drink – または would あなた just prefer the five bucks?



I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.



I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.



If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together....
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Hello there. As many of あなた have already noticed,there has been a lot of stuff that's not for kids 13 and under. Like pornography in a couple of spots and vile language. As their seniors I guess,we should make this place safer for them. Nobody wants to be arrested for talking sexually to a 12 年 older または for posting child porn on here. But many people wonder why they shouldn't curse. I will honestly explain that to you. Please enjoy this opinionated article.

One of the first reasons why a person shouldn't curse (type them anyways) around 13-11 年 olders on here is because they might learn...
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Hello dudes and dudettes,Silent Borse is in the house and I have a not so special announcement to make:
Remember Opposite 日 last year?Well get ready for the madness once again this 年 because after making a アンケート about whether または not we should hold another Opposite Day(and turn it into an annual event in general)to see if the others agree as well:link
I(with the suggestions of Lefteris and Riku) have come to the conclusion that we should hold the Opposite 日 on November 25 this Sunday.Reason why this 日付 was chosen?Because the majority of users on here should have free time on that day.



P.S.
If anyone has any disagreements about the 日付 than feel free to contact me.
posted by Atsukokagari
Hi to anybody who reads this. I'm Atsuko Kagari, but my フレンズ call me Akko.

In life sometimes things get difficult. Things don't work out as well as they should and stressful things get in the way of happiness. Because of that it's easy to simply give up. However giving up is the worst thing to do.

Giving up might as well be a curse word, because giving up is a truly bad thing to do. If あなた want to succeed in life giving up is the worst thing to do. No matter how bad things get there are always chances to make life better. If あなた give up on your dreams あなた are also giving up on your chances...
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 Episode 2 is here!
Episode 2 is here!
Welcome back mates! In case あなた missed the first episode, here's a quick recap of what this 記事 series is all about.

In the last episode, the debut of this show, I thought up five crazy and ランダム scenarios that I thought would make for entertainingly cringy headlines for Newspapers and/or YouTube videos, and asked あなた all for ideas in the コメント section below! That's also how this 表示する will be running from now on, so if あなた like this series, then don't forget to ファン and leave a コメント below on what あなた guys and gals want me to create in the 次 episode!

And with that being said, let's...
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sweetest poison run into my mouth
bittersweet in taste
what あなた think I would do
i still just in 愛 with あなた
your kisses are like 火災, 火
あなた take me to the stars and higher.
dark is the night,
but if we colouring dreams, it will be shine light.
a breeze of wind is in the air
it´s flying a leaf into your hair.
my ハート, 心 is flying like a butterfly.
Let`s be together あなた and I.
(Hello there! If you're new to this series, here's the basics. I take コメント asking 質問 from the last episode and answer them in the 次 article, but with Robotnik! As a result you'll see some pretty funny stuff. XD Hope あなた enjoy our 秒 episode of Ask Dr. Robotnik!)

(I apologize for the huge delay as well, so much happened with FNAF4 coming out and whatnot. I also got heavily addicted to an awesome online flash game named Dragon Ball Z Devolution. XD Again, sorry.)

And now.... Shout-outs to the people who コメントしました in the last episode! And we have a LOT of them this time guys!...
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"Break Your Heart"

Whoa whoa

Now listen to me baby
Before I 愛 and leave you
They call me ハート, 心 breaker
I don't wanna deceive you

[Chorus:]
If あなた fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I might tear あなた apart
Told あなた from the start,
Baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break, break your, break, break your heart. [4x]

Whoa whoa

There's no point trying to hide it
No point trying to evade it
I know I got a problem
Problem with misbehaving

[Chorus]

I'm only gonna break, break your, break, break your heart. [4x]

Whoa whoa [2x]

And I know karma's gonna get me back for being so cold
Like a big bad 狼, オオカミ I'm born to be bad and bad to the bone
If あなた fall for me I'm only gonna tear あなた apart
Told ya from the start.

I'm only gonna break, break your, break, break your heart. [4x]

Whoa whoa whoa.... [4x]
#5: Predaking (Transformers Prime)

Predaking is a force to be reckoned with. He transforms from predacon dragon to awesome robot! He could probably beat Upgraded Optimus and probably Megatron (In beast mode). Now a battle between Predaking and Grimlock would be awesome!

#4: Ultron (Marvel)

Built によって Henry Pym, Ultron is a robot who believes that the only way to protect humanity によって destroying it. His body is made from the unbreakable metal adamentium. No matter what, he keeps coming back, upgrading himself each time.

#3: Smaug (The Hobbit)

Smaug is a dragon who ストール, 盗んだ the Lonely Mountain from the dwarfs...
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posted by GDragon612
1) Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"
2) Call someone to tell them あなた can't talk right now.
3) Point at someone and shout "You're one of them!" Run and pretend to trip. Crawl away slowly.
4) Buy a donut and complain that there's a hole in it.
5) Put Mayonnaise in a bowl, freeze it, and tell your friend it's ice cream.
6) Put up a "Lost Dog" poster with a picture of a cat on it.
7) Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look them in the eyes and deadpan 'with great power, comes great responsibility.' Walk away.
8) In a public toilet, pass...
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Yeah あなた know
*I have procrastinate
Procrastinated
Lots of trouble
I have procrastinate
Procrastinated
Lots of trouble
(da capo from asterisk)

Yeah it's pretty clear I ain't no kung fu (master)
I come here pretty often, I come often
Like I shouldn't do
For many reasons
Typing ジャンク in various places

I see Internet legends
We view it and we gasp
Come on now I'm not that good
Hawaiian kindness isn't the same as genius
And every character I'm typing from the bottom to the top
This just isn't my thing
(Can somebody get a mop?)

I have writer's block and I need a little help
Separating the wheat from the chaff
And now somebody can (sure anyone can)
Bite my fhiny metal aff

'Cuz あなた know
*I have procrastinate
Procrastinated
Lots of trouble
I have procrastinate
Procrastinated
Lots of trouble
(da capo from asterisk)
Oh yeah yeah yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by -SkySplitter-
Disclaimer: I didn't make any of these. Credit goes to their original creators.

1. Q. What did バットマン say to Robin before they got in the car?

A. Get in the car

2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

3. Q. What does an Eagle and a モル, ほくろ have in common?

A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

4. A アヒル, 鴨 walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The アヒル, 鴨 doesn't say anything because its a duck.

5. Q. What...
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Honorable Mentions:

Godzilla vs Gigan (1972)
Godzilla 2000 (1999)
Godzilla vs Megalon (1973)
Godzilla vs The Sea Monster (1966)


Number 10: Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla (2002)

Number 09: Godzilla vs Megagirus (2000)

Number 08: Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla (1994)

Number 07: Godzilla vs Mothra (1992)

Number 06: Godzilla vs King Ghidorah (1991)

Number 05: Destroy All Monsters (1968)

Number 04: Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack (2001)

Number 03: Godzilla vs Destroyah (1995)

Number 02: Godzilla (2014)

Number 01: Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1954)