ランダム Club
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at あなた trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can キッス a guy* a bird can キッス a butterfly* the rising sun can キッス the grass* but あなた my friend!! yes you!! あなた CAN キッス MY ASS*******

If あなた didn't have feet あなた wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do あなた wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for あなた %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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1. Do あなた like pie?

2. Are you, または have あなた ever been a squirrel?

3. Are あなた afraid of Pancakes?

4. Are あなた a people person または a person people?

5. How many months are in a watermelon?

6. Have あなた ever wondered what it would be like if あなた were an apple?

7. Have あなた ever wanted to know if your best friend was a Nazi, too?

8. Can あなた get me a soda?

9. Why is water so dry?

10. Have あなた ever wanted to be and Illegal Alien from Outer Mexico? (No offense to Mexicans)

11. Are people actually rabid horses?

12. Have あなた ever eaten the ear of a snake?

13. Do あなた have a sword handy?

14. Do あなた like pie?

15. Am I weird...
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Reasons why being a guy is so much easier than being a girl.
1.First off あなた aren't sick once a month.
2.You can't get pregnant so あなた aren't the one stressed on birth control , あなた do it and that's it.
3.You don't have to spend hours picking an outfit.
4.You don't have to spend hours putting your make up on.
5.You don't have to spend hours making your hair to stay decent.
6.You get ready to go out in just 30 分 tops.
7.You pee standing.
8.Your parents don't tell あなた at what 時 to be ホーム when あなた in high-school.
9.You can sleep every night somewhere else than ホーム as a teenager cause your parents...
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1. Try to start a wave

2. Gasp every time there is a swear word.

3. Wear a huge Afro wig.

4. Every 15 分 stand up and then sit back down.

5. Yell out to the screen “Don’t Do It!”

6. If there is a 愛 scene, reach over in front of あなた and cover a ランダム person’s eyes.

7. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.

8. Scalp tickets outside the theater.

9. If a catchy song plays in the movie stand up and dance.

10. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your シート, 座席 and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person 次 to あなた and say, “you never know”....
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posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' によって Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD

Dear Connie,

I know the counselor 発言しました we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The 日 あなた left, I swore I'd never talk to あなた again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always あなた who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you....
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My 秒 ヘタリア 記事 since all of あなた who コメントしました on my other one inspired me to keep writing. I hope あなた like~

1. Say "aru" after everything.

2. Instead of saying yes say "da"

3. ONLY talk about how awesome あなた are

4. Run up to ランダム people and insist they marry あなた in a creepy way

5. Take everything in a perverted way and be all like "Ohonhonhon~"

6. Laugh like america at everything not funny , then when theres something funny dont laugh.

7. Whenever someone annoys you, look at them with a creepy smile and be like KOLKOLKOL

8. Act and talk like poland, then at a ランダム time switch to acting...
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posted by spunkyonyx
1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores あなた after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her ハート, 心 with an apology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship' s over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every 分 of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.

6. A girl likes to...
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posted by Famegurl754
Aries: Trigon?
Reason: I think he is a good Aries. I'm not saying he was born onthat kind of day, I'm just saying this because I think it fit's him.

Taurus: Beast boy
Reason: he can some times be as MEAN as a bull, he can shape shift into any animal. Sometimes he's as sweet as a Mice, but then he's as mean as a bull.

Gemini: Mas y Menos
Reason: It's obvious, THE TWINS!! DUH!! I know Gemini's can be mysterious then happy but these to are probably Gemini's.

Cancer: Starfire
Reason: Cancer's are moody, so I'd say she's very moody sometimes, Starfire is very nice and caring.

Leo: Jericho
Reason: I know...
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These are my 上, ページのトップへ 15 LEAST お気に入り セレブ and just like with my 上, ページのトップへ 15 お気に入り セレブ 一覧 I'm only basing this off who they are as a person, but I will talk about their talent as well. I will also tell あなた how attractive I think these people are because there are very few on here I find ugly and some I find very attractive, I'm just going to mention it just to 表示する that I'm not biased like some people. This one person who did a 一覧 like this pretty much just 発言しました they were all ugly and even compared them to animals. Anyway, this is my 一覧 and please keep in mind this is just my...
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posted by blondcat30
its so sweet n awww every1 says can we all b real? シャワー 2gether? hell yea playtime wash eachother but married? kids? hide ur ding dong または hoohaa...but I can get any man in the world and stay N pay everything buy everything pay bills and get nothing no sex no I 愛 yous または calls u those cute names only when he wants sumthin then ignores u playing on internet then find out he tells ランダム girl shes sexier than a goddess who deserves a king または fb bunch a tricks then hug me tell me sorry we had great nite til he sleeps and wakes up different I cry all nite says shut up calls names I cud never...
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posted by xxemogirl101xx
For people that hate stereotypes.

1. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

2. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

3. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

4. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

5. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

6. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

7. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

8. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

9. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

10. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

11. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

12. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

13. I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell

14. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values...
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posted by InvaderStickly
1. Back away from each person saying, "EW! GERMS!"

2. Sit in someone's lap and say, "I'm afraid your going to die, Jimmy."

3. Bring a radio and play screamo music.

4. Every once in a while, ask a doctor, "IS IT MY TURN YET?!"

5. Ask everyone why they're just sitting there.

6. When Dorah comes on, sing the lyrics.

7. Grab toys such as バービー ドール and scream, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Look, Mr. Stuffy Wuff is happy!"

8. Yell, "IT'S A TRAP!" and tackle a ランダム patient.

9. Poke at someone's scab and yell, "IS THIS SCAB EATABLE?!"

10. When your finally called on, yell, "FINALLY! WHERE WERE YOU?!"

11. Go up to...
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1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would あなた mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs あなた and takes a little something off あなた would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are あなた sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If あなた say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all あなた want, not like I care if あなた are または aren't...As long as あなた don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
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posted by Saturnluv39
It is easy to speak and write in Pig Latin, so we all should know how to do it! I'm gonna teach あなた all how to do it!
1. Put the first letter of the word in the back of the word. If the first letter is a vowel, leave it in the front.

2. Add 'ay' to the end of the word.

1. latin
2. atinl
3. atinlay

1. after
2. after
3. afteray

Now あなた know how to do it!
Now, if あなた want to try it out, please translate this sentence into pig latin, and 表示する your results in a comment:
because the web should revolve around you

enter your translation results, and if あなた win, あなた get the prize. I will tell the winner on Dec. 2nd, 2009. If あなた are a winner check everything on your profile.
What's your personality type?

link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas によって discussion
-Like to learn new task によって talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus もっと見る on their own inner world,...
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posted by milorox18

1.We got off the タイタニック first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character または the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing....
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In case あなた needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.(that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson アナと雪の女王 dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion).

On Tesco's ティラミス デザート (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh,...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him あなた met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do あなた listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him によって his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your お気に入り guy[If あなた hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson または some who あなた like ALLOT!]

9. Come ホーム saying あなた found your true...
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posted by RulerL0rd
Ghetto Names

Mostly 人気 with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming もっと見る common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us によって our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...
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Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If あなた can't drink and drive, why do あなた need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do あなた need a silencer if あなた are going to shoot a mime?

Have あなた ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11...
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