1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When あなた sleep over never boss me around in ベッド unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If あなた don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” または “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If あなた want sex, just ask. (In case あなた didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only モデル are able to wear most of the stuff あなた see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes ホーム and sees あなた in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, または just plain naked.
12. あなた don’t need ランジェリー to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank 上, ページのトップへ are fine によって us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that あなた may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true または not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting 愛 we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. あなた shouldn’t be flattered または grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually もっと見る when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach あなた not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so シャワー with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) あなた on 上, ページのトップへ of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay 映画 with あなた but don’t tell our friends.
30. あなた can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports 映画 または “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as あなた think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one もっと見る girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced によって a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much もっと見る attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. あなた can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when あなた are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of あなた it is because we are proud and want to 表示する あなた off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether あなた want to do it with the lights on または off.
42. Whip cream and チョコレート syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing あなた will ever do will entitle あなた to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be 発言しました after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play もっと見る often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only 秒 to critiquing our 愛 making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer 質問 we could be castrated.
48. If あなた ask us to go shopping あなた have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your 尻, お尻 look fat. Your fat 尻, お尻 makes your 尻, お尻 look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.