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What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The 次 time あなた and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a アンケート to see which of あなた successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with あなた - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever あなた have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If あなた were really looking for an honest answer, あなた wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The 次 time あなた make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused によって rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do あなた and your フレンズ keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if あなた look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' お気に入り outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If あなた must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then あなた never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know あなた can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises または promotions were gained によって arm wrestling the boss.
If あなた don't read this, someone else wil
okay, so people, my friend Megan and I are making a SECRET club that anyone can join!!! Though it's not a secret any more... Yeah, the SECRET club is called F.S. which stands for Fishy Stuff. And we made a spot on ファンポップ for F.S. soo あなた can join. Here is the club's rules:

1. Rules are made for breaking
2. Fishy stuff is not a club for people who want to discuis eating fishies
3. In order to 登録する F.S. あなた must eat at least 100,000 muffins.
4. Ignore theses rules
5. Break every rule appart from this one.
6. お茶, 紅茶 is like soup
7. Don't drink the laptop
8. EVERYTHING is yellow
9. this rule does not exist,...
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posted by TDIlover226
1# wait till there talking on the phone and say "your talking to that hooker again arn't you, I know she has problems but theres no need to go all phycaitrist on her.

2# stand 次 to her and go "toast?" and wait like your waiting for an answer, then go "hello, arn't あなた even gonna answer?" wait till they say what? then go "well, あなた need an aointment to go to that hair stylist", then wait again for them to say something else and go "YOU NEVER RESPECTED ME!" and run out of the room.

3# (this ones for boys) wait until your sister is talking with フレンズ then run up and sit between them and go...
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posted by invadercalliope
Hi i'm Invader Calliope!
1.I cry for the time that あなた were almost mine, I cry for the memories i've left behind,I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new,i cry for the times i thought i had you.
2.Not all scars show, not all wounds heal sometimes あなた can't always see the pain someone feels
3.One 日 you'll ask me, "which is もっと見る important to you, me または your life" i'll say "My Life" and you'll go and leave me without knowing あなた are my life.
4.A breakup is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.
5.if your 愛 does NOT work for that person,...
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posted by lupichkata
Sorry, if it's too short, but that's all i could think of.
1. Go to him and say "I know what あなた did last summer and i'll tell Ron." and see what his reaction is.
2. Poke him with a wand または a stick and when he turns around, pretend it wasn't you.
3. Tell him he has his mother's eyes and his father's package.
4. Laugh hysterically every time he walks in front of あなた and when he asks why whisper "I've read your diary." then run away. Still laughing hysterically.
5. Ask him how his parents are.
6. Ask him if Dumbledore has proposed yet.
7. Write an erotic story about Snape and Harry's mom and read it...
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posted by karpach_14
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor によって floor, and once あなた find what あなた are looking for, あなた can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling あなた what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The フレンズ laugh and without hesitation 移動する on to...
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 James
James
キャビン for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Nine: James

    I’m James Ricky Reese. I live with my little sister, Cassie, and my older brother (he’s a bum), Greg. I have a hot girlfriend named Chelsea and annoying parents named Kristi and Bobby.
     Anyways, I am 歌う my お気に入り song, 21 銃 によって Green 日 whenever I hear the all American, annoying Beth scream. It’s not this scared, “It’s a spider” scream. It’s this really excited scream. “OH MY GOD HE’S COMING HERE TONIGHT!” I look over at her and expect her to be jumping up and down...
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キャビン for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Seven: Laken


    Hi! I’m Laken Reese Barenshsky. I’m 19 and I live with my parents and my 15 年 old brother, Jason. I have the most wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, Tori. She’s pretty, she has long brown hair, that’s naturally curly, brown eyes and her smile is gorgeous, like I’ve just been snapped with the sun! God, she’s sexy.
    “GOALLLLLLLL!” I scream whenever I kick the 梨 into the side of this ダンプスター, ゴミ箱, 収集 in the back of the store. Zack grumbles (because he’s a loser!) and we keep kicking this...
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