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ランダム 質問

Give me FUNNY jokes!

Send the funniest joke あなた know and the one that I think is the best will get 3 PROPS!
 DTmouche456 posted 1年以上前
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ランダム 回答

BellaCullen96 said:
1:
Two 恐竜 were sitting on an island when they see Noah's ark pass by. One says to the other, "Oh, shit! That was today?!"
(I got this from someone on here, I don't remember who)

2:
A man walked into a bar room one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."
The bartender said, "No problem sir, but I'll need to see some money first." The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on the bar. Well, the bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did あなた get all that money?" asked the bartender.
"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.
The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?"
"Well, I only bet on sure things," 発言しました the guy.
"Like what?" asked the bartender.
"Well, for example, I'll bet あなた $50 that I can bite my right eye." The bartender thought about it.
"Okay." So, the guy pulls out his false right eye and bites it.
"Aw, あなた screwed me," 発言しました the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
"I'll give あなた another chance. I'll bet あなた another $50 that I can bite my left eye," 発言しました the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean I watched あなた walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulls out his false teeth and bites his left eye. "Aw, あなた screwed me again."
"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the $100," 発言しました the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. The guy, drunk as a skunk, said, "Bartender, I'll give あなた one last chance. I'll bet あなた $500 that I can stand on this bar here on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind あなた without spilling a drop."
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on."
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, あなた owe me $500!"
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the poker room $1000 that I could piss all over あなた and the bar and still make あなた laugh!"
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posted 1年以上前 
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lol xD
volleyblue13 posted 1年以上前
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i already knew that 1 but its really good... the 秒 1 i mean
stephmfan215 posted 1年以上前
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Lol:) ha lived both, 秒 was the best, I'm giving the リスペクト to u defently!
DTmouche456 posted 1年以上前
energizerbunny said:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
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posted 1年以上前 
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Ha ha lol that really good! Let's see who can 上, ページのトップへ that
DTmouche456 posted 1年以上前
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lol thats a great 1
stephmfan215 posted 1年以上前
Jenny27876 said:
The silent fart

An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, "

I just let out a silent fart what do あなた think I should do?"

He 返信 " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
oh and a funny picture!
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 The silent fart An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, " I just let out a silent fart what do あなた think I should do?" He 返信 " Put a new battery in your hearing aid." oh and a funny picture!
posted 1年以上前 
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thats a good joke. the pic is a little weird tho
stephmfan215 posted 1年以上前
volleyblue13 said:
I don't have the energy to look for a funny joke... so can I just put a funny pic? lol I'm going to whether it counts または not ^_^
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 I don't have the energy to look for a funny joke... so can I just put a funny pic? lol I'm going to whether it counts または not ^_^
posted 1年以上前 
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I've seen a caption for that pic that says 'New form of punishment at Hogwarts: "LOOK AT THE TWILIGHT BOOK! READ IT!"'
BellaCullen96 posted 1年以上前
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lol, and I'd say that counts, but idk what DTmouche456 would say
BellaCullen96 posted 1年以上前
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Ha! Pretty good, I wanted a joke but I will see
DTmouche456 posted 1年以上前
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haha i don't really care if i get a リスペクト または not so your decision ;)
volleyblue13 posted 1年以上前
bubble_babe said:
After ブッシュ was in office for one whole year, a little girl, having a dream to some 日 lead her country came up to him, and asked ブッシュ to tell her the best thing about the white house that only he knew.

ブッシュ turned and look the little girl in the eye and 発言しました

"Its White."
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posted 1年以上前 
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lol XD
volleyblue13 posted 1年以上前
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thats a great joke!!!!! ur spelling isnt very good tho... hole and contrey... whole and country
stephmfan215 posted 1年以上前
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hows it not funny? its not like we're being serious at anything, so learn to take a joke
volleyblue13 posted 1年以上前
Kibarules77 said:
well its not that funny
it goes what was my name yesterday they say ur name
what was my name two days 前 u say ur name
Then u say Knock Knock they say whos there then u say u forgot my name allreeady!
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posted 1年以上前 
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