Don't yell like that. It gives off the vibe that you're an attention whore. I honestly like it. Grow some confidence. Believe in your skills. If あなた keep putting yourself down, you're not going to get better.
Look I am going to tell あなた the truth alright. (If anyone decide to get on my 尻, お尻 for this. Lemme tell あなた you're walking into a hornet's nest. DO NOT start.)
I don't really like it. I think it needs some improvement. I believe あなた can get better but あなた need to practice to be quite honest. I am not one for cuteness. In fact I tend to dislike things overly cute. if あなた like it as an artist that should be the most important that matters あなた know? And 次 time please don't yell. Because that will only hurt your reputation on this site and to not be considered a troll. I'd suggest あなた don't do that. Just practicing and あなた will get better and あなた know to have confidence in yourself and when あなた have confidence あなた will eventually get better.