what the heck?!?!

link
^ original song. Thought it would be fun to 編集 it a bit based on thier personalities.
**edit-forgot to put Kowalski 次 to Leo. fixed now.
Aquarius (mort)
There's travel in your future when あなた find yourself tied to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life によって playing Oku-Land seventeen hours a day

Pisces (Julien)
Try to avoid any Penguins または Otters with the Cootie virus.
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiotic Baboons say.

Aries(Phil and Mason)
The look on your face will be priceless when あなた find that forty year-old スイカ in your colon. (phil)...

Kowalski's Guide to Sciency Things 

Hi there. I'm Kowalski. The ペンギン brainiac, some will say. And sense あなた are 読書 this, the cause must be either あなた want to learn how to do things もっと見る sciency, または あなた are bored out of your mind and this is the only thing あなた can find to read.
Either way, あなた are 読書 it, so keep on doing it. Now I am not a reader, so I don't know how long introductions should be. I'll just stop here. 
Happy reading!

Sciency lesson #1, How to make it seem like you're smart

If あなた want to be smart, あなた have to make it seem like あなた are. One of the things I do is talk...