The sun was just coming up when I was woken up によって knocking on my front door. I got out of ベッド and went downstairs; before I even had gotten ready for the day. I walked up to the door and opened it to see my mother standing there. I yawned and 発言しました "good morning mother." She 発言しました "you're still in your pajamas." I rubbed my eyes and looked up at the clock on the ウォール as I 発言しました "it's only 6: 45." She 発言しました "I know Michael; it's probably better if あなた leave before Christian wakes up." I gave her a hug and 発言しました "yeah you're probably right; I'll go get dressed right now."

After I had gotten ready, I exited my bedroom and was about to walk downstairs when Christian 発言しました "good morning daddy." I turned around and 発言しました "good morning buddy" as I picked him up to bring him downstairs. I put him down on the ground in and 発言しました "okay; bye-bye buddy." He looked at me with a confused expression on his face and 発言しました "I come; daddy I come!" I knelt down in front of him and 発言しました "you can't come today Christian. I have to go to work and you're going to stay here with grandma; but I promise I'll be back before dinner." He looked at me and started to hyperventilate. He started sobbing and I could barely understand what he was saying. The only words I was able to hear were "no bye-bye daddy!"

I picked him back up and 発言しました "I have to go Christian. I wish I could stay here with you; but I can't." によって this point, he was crying uncontrollably." I asked excitedly "do あなた want grandma to make あなた breakfast?" He slowly nodded his head and I quickly passed him to my mother. He was still crying and repeating "no bye-bye daddy!" I looked at my shoulder and 発言しました "eeeww; あなた got boogers on my shirt!" In between crying, he started to laugh and I joked "oh あなた think that's funny; do you?" He started cracking up and I wiped his nose with my sleeve.

I thought I was okay to leave; but I was halfway out the door when he started crying and saying "I come daddy!!!" Mother 発言しました "don't worry about him Michael; just leave because Frank won't be happy if you're late!!!" I waved goodbye as she 発言しました "say bye-bye to daddy and as I shut the door I could hear Christian say "come back daddy."

I got into the back シート, 座席 of the SUV while my bodyguards drove me to the set where "Moonwalker" is being filmed. James looked into the rearview mirror and saw me starting to tear up. He asked "are あなた okay Michael?" I 発言しました "it was so hard to leave him! He was so upset and he didn't want me to leave!" Tim 発言しました "I'm sure he is over it によって now Michael." I 発言しました "I just don't want him to think that I'm never coming back. I think he's worried because I already had to give him back to his mother once and he doesn't want it to happen again! I don't think he understands that he's my son now! It just really hurt me to see him reaching for me and not being able to pick him up because I can't be late for work."

We pulled up to the movie set and I was taken to my trailer によって my bodyguards. I opened up the door and was surprised to see Karen Faye; my hairstylist. I walked inside and 発言しました "hi Karen" as I gave her a hug. The door opened and it was my wardrobe manager Michael Bush. I greeted him and he started to pick out my outfit for my "speed demon" 音楽 video. He was about to help me put the ジャケット on when he asked "what's all over your シャツ Michael?" I chuckled and 発言しました "trust me; あなた don't want to know." He 発言しました "okay then!"

During my break, Karen and I decided to catch up on what's been going on since the tour ended. She asked "what have あなた been up to lately?" I 発言しました "I don't know if Frank told you; but I'm a father now! I adopted a son!" She 発言しました "that's amazing Michael! How do あなた like being a father?" I smiled from ear to ear as I 発言しました "I 愛 it and he's the sweetest little boy ever!!!" She asked "how old is he?" I 発言しました "he'll be three within the 次 few weeks." She 発言しました "how cute; あなた should bring him with あなた to work!" I 発言しました "he's really shy and I don't think he would like being around all these people!" She 発言しました "oh because I would watch him for あなた in the trailer while you're working." I hesitated before saying "I don't know; maybe I will bring him here a couple days week so my mom doesn't have to watch him all week long."

When my work 日 was finally over, I couldn't wait to get ホーム to Christian because I missed him so much. When we pulled into the driveway, I dismissed my bodyguards for the rest of the night and walked up to the front door. I opened it up and walked inside. The キッチン was empty; but something was on the stove.

I walked into the living room and Christian was on the floor with mother putting together a puzzle. Mother looked up after hearing my footsteps and asked "look who's here Christian; who is that?" He looked up from the puzzle and excitedly shouted "daddy" as he ran into my arms. I picked him up and gave him a hug as I 発言しました "I missed you!" I looked at mother and asked "how did today go?" She 発言しました "he stopped crying a few 分 after あなた left and he was fine for the rest of the day." I 発言しました “I told あなた I would be back buddy!!!"

***

Finally, it's the weekend which means I have two days off to spend with Christian. I walked into his room to wake him up and noticed that he had fallen out of ベッド because he was lying on the floor. I picked him up and he opened his eyes. I asked "what am I going to do with あなた silly; あなた keep falling out of bed!" I could tell that he didn't want to be awake; but I had to bring him downstairs because he would've been up all night long if I let him sleep any longer.

I brought him into the キッチン and opened up the fridge as I asked "what do あなた want to drink?" He pointed to the 林檎, アップル ジュース and I put it on the counter. I'm starting to get concerned about Christian's lack of speech at almost 3 years old. He's spoken only a few complete sentences since he's been with me and I'm worried that if I don't break him of this shyness his speech won't improve. He only seems to talk if he has to and he doesn't really speak in sentences; just one または two words at a time.

I passed him his cup and asked "can あなた say thank あなた for my juice?" He 発言しました "thank you" and I 発言しました "no; あなた have to say the whole thing. I know あなた can talk in sentences because I've heard あなた do it before." He didn't answer me and I 発言しました "okay; but I'm not giving up.”

We were in the living room when Christian came up to me with a plastic container that contained all of his matchbox cars. He passed it to me and 発言しました "please daddy." I knew exactly what he wanted; but I asked "please what?" He gestured for me to open it for him and I 発言しました "I don't know what that means buddy. あなた have to tell daddy what あなた want." He pointed to the box and 発言しました "open." I asked "you want me to open this for you?" He shook his head in agreement and I asked "can あなた tell me that? Can あなた say 'daddy will あなた please open this for me?'

He didn't say anything and instead decided to 移動する on to a different toy; another failed attempt on my part to get my son to talk in complete sentences. A few hours later, I was chewing on a piece of gum when Christian wanted some. He pointed to the pack of gum in my pocket and I asked "what?" He tried to take the gum out of my シャツ pocket and I 発言しました "you have to use your words and asked me for it Christian." I could tell that he desperately wanted that gum; but he wasn't about to talk to get it from me.

I do have to say that this kid knows that he has me wrapped around his little finger because he climbed onto the ソファー, ソファ and started to give me the "puppy dog eyes." I tried to look away; but I couldn't help myself from smiling. I looked back at him and he pointed to my pocket again. I sighed and 発言しました "fine; but あなた have to give me kisses first!" He lightly pecked my lips and 発言しました "gum." I 発言しました "yes; I know あなた want the gum. I'm getting it." I reluctantly pulled the gum out of my pocket and gave him a piece as I 発言しました "I shouldn't be giving あなた this because あなた didn't ask me for it; but whatever!"

Each day, I regret giving Christian back to his mother because I think it really had a negative effect on him. She's not the type of parent that would take the time to focus on important things like speech with him. He's almost 3 years old and he should be talking a lot もっと見る than he is. I know my work schedule is going to be very busy for a while; but I really need to get him talking もっと見る and using complete sentences. I think it's sad that his speech was better when he was in the orphanage according to Rosemary then it was when he was living with his mother. I know one thing's for sure; I'll never give up on him like she did!

***

The weekend is over and I was just about to leave for work when Christian asked "daddy; can I please go to work with you?" I was so surprised that he used a complete sentence that I 発言しました "yeah; I think my friend Karen will watch あなた while I'm working." Mother asked "does this mean I can go ホーム now?" I 発言しました "yeah mother and if today goes well I may bring him with me to work every day." She went towards the door and 発言しました "oh; あなた should probably know that he's been having stomach issues." I joked "it's probably nothing; you've always been paranoid when it comes to those sorts of things." She 発言しました "okay; but don't say that I didn't warn you!"

I grabbed a few things before taking Christian out to the car. When we pulled up in front of my trailer on the set, I took Christian out of his car シート, 座席 and brought him inside. Karen was sitting on the ソファー, ソファ and she looked up at Christian. I sat down on the ソファー, ソファ 次 to her with Christian in my arms and she 発言しました "you must be the little guy I've been hearing so many things about! What's your name?" He hesitated but his response made me laugh. He 発言しました "my name is daddy's son!" Karen and I chuckled as I 発言しました "that's the first time he's ever 発言しました that before!" Karen laughed and 発言しました "well; it's nice to meet あなた daddy's son!"

I 発言しました "okay; I'm going to go to work a few feet away from here outside Christian. If あなた ever need anything Karen, don't be afraid to come get me." I kissed Christian's forehead and she 発言しました "I'm sure everything will be fine; we'll be here when あなた come back for your break." I passed her a bag of Christian's toys, movies, and other things before I walked out the door.

About an 時 later, Karen came out of the trailer and tapped me on my shoulder while I was looking at some of the 音楽 video clips we had filmed. I turned around and asked "is everything okay?" She looked at me and 発言しました "it's awful Michael! How do あなた do that every day?" I wrinkled my eyebrows in confusion and asked "what are あなた talking about?" She 発言しました "it smells so bad Michael!" I laughed and 発言しました "that's just because あなた don't have kids! You're not used to changing diapers!"

As the two of us walked back to the trailer, Karen 発言しました "no; あなた don't get it Michael! I'm telling あなた it's not me; it's horrible!" I looked at her and sarcastically 発言しました "yeah; I bet it's SO horrible!" I opened up the door and Christian was sleeping on the couch.

Normally, changing diapers doesn't bother me because I've done it a lot since adopting Christian; but I have to say that I agree with Karen now. I looked at her as my eyes started to water and 発言しました "oh my God; あなた weren't kidding! I don't want to wake him up because he needs to take a nap; but I might start gagging!" She started to hysterically laugh at me covering my nose with my シャツ and 発言しました "I told あなた Michael! Is it like this all the time?" I laughed and 発言しました "not even close!"

秒 after I was done changing him, I bolted out the door of the trailer and tried my absolute hardest to avoid throwing up. Frank laughed and joked "you okay there Mike?" I playfully responded "oh; shut up Frank!" Frank laughed and 発言しました "I'm starting to enjoy having this kid around. He can torture あなた when I'm not around to do it. あなた look as pale as a ghost Mike. I looked up from staring at the ground and 発言しました "if あなた went through what I just went through あなた would be pale too Frank!”

Right after I 発言しました that, I threw up all over the parking lot in front of me. Frank hysterically laughed and I 発言しました "you're lucky that I didn't throw up on your shoes!!! Christian 発言しました "daddy" from inside the trailer and I 発言しました "I'm coming buddy!" I walked inside the trailer with Karen behind me and playfully teased "hey; stinky boy is awake!" Christian looked at me and was completely oblivious to what had happened. Karen asked "how in the heck did he manage to sleep through all of that?" I 発言しました "I have no idea at all because I was about ready to pass out myself! I don't think there's going to be a lunch break for me today!"

***

While Christian was upstairs taking a nap, I decided to start planning his birthday party because it's in a couple of weeks. I have to try to keep things quiet because I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I'm not supposed to be celebrating birthdays and things of that nature. If they were to find out about this I would be kicked out of the religion for sure. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth sacrificing so many things. I don't want Christian to miss out on the things that I missed out on growing up. I'm definitely going to have to think about disassociating myself from the religion for Christian's sake.

I dialed the number of party planner and pretended my voice was deeper than it actually is because I don't want to give away my identity. I was on the phone with a woman for over an 時 planning the best Mickey マウス themed birthday party ever. When she had added up the cost of everything, it came to about $2000 and I think she was surprised that the price didn't bother me. Thankfully, my bodyguard James let me use his credit card number to pay for everything and I gave him the cash back.

I quickly hung up the phone as Christian was coming downstairs and he climbed into my lap without saying a word. He still seemed out of it and I whispered "did あなた sleep okay?" He nodded his head in agreement and I asked "do あなた want a snack?" I walked over to the cupboard and took out a box of "goldfish" brand crackers. I poured them out onto the 表, テーブル and he slowly started to wake up.

As I picked him up to bring him into the living room, there was a knock at the front door and I turned around to answer it. I opened the door and of my brothers Jermaine, Jackie, Randy, Tito, and Marlon were standing there. I was surprised to see them because I haven't seen them in over six months. I invited them inside and Jermaine 発言しました "you must be Christian; I'm your uncle Jermaine. As expected, Christian buried his face in my neck and each of my brothers introduced themselves to him.

We all sat down at the table; but Christian was not going to let me take him off my lap. I started to make conversation with my brothers and asked "do あなた think mother would be mad at me if I disassociated myself from the Jehovah's Witness religion?" Jermaine 発言しました "she may be shocked at first; but I don't think she'll necessarily be mad at あなた because あなた have a child now. I mean most of us didn't even pursue the religion after we reached adulthood." I 発言しました "I just want Christian to be able to experience things like クリスマス and ハロウィン because that's an important part of being a child. I hope she'll understand!" Marlon asked "how was the tour Michael?" I 発言しました "it was okay; but I'm glad to be home! I always have a hard time sleeping when I'm on the road! It's hard for my body to adjust to the different time zones!"

Christian whispered "Mickey" in my ear and I asked "what? あなた want to watch Mickey on TV?" He asked "where's Mickey?" I 発言しました "you're stuffed Mickey マウス is upstairs I think." Randy 発言しました "I can go get it for him if あなた want me to Michael. What room is it in?" I 発言しました "it's the room directly across from mine; the Mickey マウス themed room. あなた can't miss it! The stuffed animal is usually on the bed."

Randy went upstairs to retrieve the Mickey マウス stuffed animal and walked back downstairs. He tried give it to Christian; によって Christian just looked at him with an unsure expression on his face. I 発言しました "it's alright; he's just giving あなた Mickey! He's not going to do anything to you." Christian's hands shook as he reached for it and took it from Randy. Randy 発言しました "whoa; あなた weren't exaggerating when he あなた 発言しました あなた 発言しました he was shy Michael!" I 発言しました "I know; I'm actually glad あなた guys showed up today because I want to invite あなた to his birthday party."

Surprisingly, they were excited to come to the party and were happy to receive the invitation. They left a few 分 later and it dawned on me that I would not be able to invite my mother to the party because for one thing I'm not supposed be celebrating anyone's birthday. Secondly, she won't come to the party because she's very dedicated to the religion of being a Jehovah's Witness. I've had to make so many sacrifices to practice that religion and I guess I'm going to have to make the sacrifice of not inviting my mother to his birthday party just so his first birthday with me will be one that he can remember years from now!

***

I asked "are あなた ready?" Christian 発言しました "yup" and I asked "are あなた sure あなた can remember?" He 発言しました "yup" and I asked "which one is the green crayon?" He picked up the green crayon and I 発言しました "you remember! Okay, 表示する me the black crayon." Once again, he picked up the correct color and I 発言しました "I think all my hard work is starting to pay off! I think あなた know all your Colors（色） now. I don't know how あなた managed to keep getting green and black confused; but I think you're over that now!"

I started to recite the alphabet and he started to copy me. He 発言しました "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z." I was absolutely surprised and 発言しました "wow; I wasn't expecting that! あなた got them all in the right order this time; smart boy!" He asked "daddy; school soon?" I sat there trying to figure out his broken English and I 発言しました "in a couple もっと見る years you'll go to school!"

I picked him up and brought him to the 表, テーブル because the 食 I was making for ディナー was finally cooked. I sat down at the 表, テーブル 次 to him and passed him his plate. I asked "are あなた excited for your birthday? Your first birthday at daddy's house!!!" Christian asked "what's a birthday?" My ハート, 心 almost broke in half when I heard him say that! This poor child has never even celebrated his birthday before! I 発言しました "a birthday celebrates the 日 あなた were born! I'm going to throw あなた a party and there's going to be cake. There's going to be presents, and we're going to have fun!"

***

I quietly walked into Christian's bedroom and gently shook him awake. He slowly opened his eyes and I whispered "happy birthday buddy." He rolled back over and I laughed as I picked him up. I 発言しました "you can't go back to sleep Christian! Today is your birthday; you're three now!" I playfully tossed him into the air and caught him back in my arms in an attempt to wake him up.

I carried him downstairs and put him on the couch. He insisted on watching cartoons; just like he does every morning. I wanted to 表示する him all the party decorations that were set up in the kitchen; so I picked him up and brought him into the kitchen. His eyes shot open like he wasn't tired at all and he was so excited. He pretty much jumped out of my arms and started running around the kitchen.

He noticed all the balloons and started playing with them. I asked "do あなた like it?" All he 発言しました was "Mickey" at the 上, ページのトップへ of his lungs. He ran up to me and 発言しました "thank あなた daddy!!!" I 発言しました "you're welcome; everyone should be here soon!"

My brothers knocked on the door and I invited them inside. Jackie 発言しました "our sisters wanted to be invited to the party too; but I told them how shy Christian is and they understood." I 発言しました "it's just going to be あなた guys, my hair stylist Karen, Christian and me because I know that if too many people come he won't like it. It's just going to be a small party anyway. I wanted to do something really special like have a magician come; but he's terrified of pretty much anything! I didn't know if that would scare him または not that's why I didn't hire one."

Soon after, Karen knocked on the door and I invited her inside. She immediately picked Christian up and 発言しました "hi birthday boy!" Christian was too preoccupied with all the decorations as he pointed at them and 発言しました "Mickey!" I 発言しました "okay; I want this to be good birthday party for Christian; but it can only last a couple hours because I don't want my mother to suspect anything."

With that said, we went into the living room to start opening up gifts. I sat on the floor with Christian on my lap and Jermaine passed me his gift that he bought Christian. Christian ripped it open and I 発言しました "wow; you've got Mickey マウス bedding to match your room now!" He 発言しました "thank you" and Randy passed him the 次 gift. He ripped it open and it was a pair of Mickey マウス slippers.

Many gifts later, I 発言しました "I guess it's time for me to tell あなた what I've decided to do for your birthday. Do あなた want to go see Mickey Mouse?" He looked at me with a confused expression on his face and asked "on the TV?" I chuckled and 発言しました "no silly; daddy's going to take a week off of work. I'm going to take あなた to ディズニー World! Remember that place on the commercials of your ディズニー movies? That's where we’re going to go!" He 発言しました "we go see Mickey now." I 発言しました "tomorrow morning when あなた wake up we're going to get on an airplane and go see him!"

He gave me a hug and a キッス as he 発言しました "thank あなた daddy!" I took him into the キッチン and sat him down at the table. He was surprised when all of us sang happy birthday to him and afterwards I expected him to blow out the candles on his cake. I looked at everyone sitting around the 表, テーブル and 発言しました "I don't think he knows what he's supposed to do." I demonstrated how to blow out the candles; but he just looked at me like I was crazy. All of us tried to get him to blow out the candles; but he just didn't get it. I basically had to blow them out for him because if I didn't we would've been there for hours.

Later that night when I was tucking them into bed, he 発言しました "that was fun! Thank あなた daddy!" I gave him a キッス and 発言しました "you're welcome and this is just the first of many birthdays to come. It's not over yet because we're still going to go see Mickey tomorrow." I turned on the TV, passed him the remote, and shut off the light as I 発言しました "night – night birthday boy!" He responded "good night daddy; I 愛 you!" I 発言しました "I 愛 あなた more."

***

Our flight to Florida was extremely early in the morning; so によって the time we got there Christian was just about to wake up. I was able to sleep the entire flight as well; so the two of us were both well rested when we arrived. I took Christian off of the plane was my bodyguards behind me and a group of ファン started screaming my name. That woke Christian up and I think he was startled because he wasn't expecting to be woken up like that.

When we got to the park, it was absolute pandemonium and I probably didn't think this through as much as I should have. Christian didn't even why anything to do with the theme park because he was so overwhelmed によって all the people. He kept saying "daddy leave; daddy we go home!" He was shaking and couldn't hear me trying to talk to him over the crowd of screaming fans.

Once he started to cry, I knew the best thing I could possibly do to fix the situation was to bring him home. A few hours later, we boarded the private jet and I kept apologizing to Christian for not being able to take him to see Mickey Mouse. I don't think he really realized what he was missing out on; so it didn't really bother him too much! I told him I would take him shopping and buy him a bunch of toys to make up for it. He seemed to get over the whole experience pretty quickly once I mentioned that.

Sometimes I just wish I could choose when I get to be famous; instead of it being all the time. あなた have no idea how terrible I feel right now because I wanted to see his expression when he saw Mickey マウス for the first time in person. I have plenty of time to take him to ディズニー World again and when I do I'm going to planet through a lot more!!!