And I Call Myself a MJ Fan?

I mean sadly I didn't even know about his comeback tour till after he passed and I call myself a ファン *cries*

I've been a ファン of him since I was little I idolized him my whole life he inspired me to sing I mean I wouldn't have the courage to perform on stage in school plays または talent shows.
and I had a little girl crush on him since I saw the thriller short film and still do.
like some ppl are saying that I ain't a true MJ ファン im like, "I AM I've just kept my obsession with him a secret through my life cuz I didn't want to get teased at school または outside school または having a obsession and crush on a singer they believe who molest kids and had plastic surgery which he DIDN'T.

even the impersonators in the 映画 who make him look bad I laughed well the other ppl were laughing so I did too and well I had no idea what it was all about till after I found out why,
and I still watch those 映画 but I just skip those parts cuz they aren't funny anymore.

I seriously call myself a ファン and even after a he just passed I decide to let my obsession out and look up info I missed out on like i found out it was a skin condition he had and stuff.

do あなた guys feel the same =(.
I just feel guilty about what happen.