Urgh. This is the stupidest thing ever & I’m so going to regret it later.. but it’s honesty time I guess? I’m sitting here reading all of the nice things everyone is saying about each other on Elle’s picks. And when I read the comments on my own pick I can’t help but feel like the biggest fraud ever. I just don’t understand how you guys can still speak so highly of me while I KNOW I’ve been the worst friend on this planet to EVERY SINGLE ONE of my friends (online but also in real life!) for MONTHS & MONTHS now. I wanted to write each & everyone of you an equally heartfelt message on your picks of why & how much I love you but I found myself stuck in words when I tried to find the right things to say. This has never happened before & it really scares, infuriates & disgusts me that I was unable to do so because there’s not a single group of people that I adore/respect more or am more grateful for than you guys. <333
You probably don’t believe it, but I miss talking to all of you more than anything in this world!! Every day I think this is day I’m finally going to start replying to everyone, and everyday I find myself not having the strength, the courage or the energy to do it. I would never want you guys to think I don’t care about what’s going on in your lives, good or bad, bc that’s farthest from true! I WANT more than anything to be the friend that shares your joy when you’re excited, and be the one who lifts your spirits when you’re down... but I feel like I don’t know how to do that anymore! It absolutely KILLS me bc I know that’s not the person I was, nor is it the person I wanna be.
I’ve struggled with this issue of mine for what seems like forever now, I’ve lost close friends because of it & I know I’m only making it worse as time goes by.
I know this whole thing probably sounds so ridiculous & I try SO DAMN HARD to change it but something always seems to hold me back to just do any of the stuff I really love & I can never seem to figure out what or why that is.. The only thing that my mind keeps thinking every single day is: “I don’t want to.” It absolutely terrifies me to be this honest with all of you right now, but I had to explain myself in one way or another bc the thought of you hating me or me losing you is really something I wouldn’t be able to handle..
I really want to remain the person you think I am.
I’m truly sorry for everything & I really do love you all <333

Aw Celine you're breaking my heart.

I think one of the things I love so much about this family is that we don't have to all talk all the time, or constantly message each other, etc to love one another and be close. There's people here I don't have one on one have conversations with for months at a time but I still consider to be one of my closest friends and still love dearly. Staying in touch doesn't indicate closeness or loving one another.

Another thing (and I really hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries) but everything you just described in your post sounds really similar to you having social anxiety which is something a lot of people (including myself) deal with but there's different forms of it and different extremes to it so only if you want of course you should try looking into it!

But anyways, I just want you to know to not feel horrible about yourself or feel like you're a bad friend because you absolutely aren't. You are and always will be such an epic and amazing part of this family. And we all love you because we know you care, are kind, and have the purest of intentions. So you should never worry about that and definitely don't hate yourself over it. We know you have all our backs just like we all have yours!

I love you forever foxy <33

^RANA STOLE MY WORDS.

What you described instantly reminded me of social anxiety, which is something I deal with everyday of my life Cel. So I understand you perfectly.
Seriously though I'm sure EVERY PERSON in this family loves you, current members AND past members. Don't worry that you're not being a good friend, cause you are <33 We may not talk as much but I just know that you care, you just have that vibe of kindness and that's why I love you so much!!

p.s I legit thought you were going to tell us you're leaving, I was already preparing tissues...

^Hey, don't feel bad. I think all of us (well, at least I do) understands what's it like to not reply to stuff and months go by without even noticing. It doesn't mean you're a bad friend, the mere fact that you feel bad and needed to write this for us PROVES that you care and that you're still Celine, our amazing friend. We all love you very much here, even though like Rana said, we don't talk to each other non-stop. To be honest, I really understand what you mean because I do it too. I feel like I should do a honesty time post as well, but anyway this isn't about me. Take your time with the replies and remember that we love you and consider you as such an important part of the family. And you'll always be that for us! WE LOVE YOU <3333333

Cel, hon<33 I had no idea you felt like this (btw as Kir said I was terrified you would announce you were leaving..)
Anyways, please don't you dare feel like a bad friend. I don't really know what you're going through or what makes you feel like this both on here and on rl but if you need someone to talk to or open your heart please know I'm here (and I'm sure everyone else is here as well!)... Just so you know we all feel your love and support for us, so please don't doubt yourself on this topic! I love you<3333, we all do!

^All those guys pretty much said it all! But Celine you are honestly one of my fave people ever and you are such an amazing friend and person! Never ever feel like a bad person, and I can totally understand what your are going through! Please know how much I love and adore you and will ALWAYS be here to support you and cherish you.

You should know you are such an important part of this family and such an important part of my life and I am FOREVER grateful to have met you. If you need space we will totally understand, but remember there is only one LPF and it is your home no matter what.

LOVE YOU FOREVER CELINE <333

Shit I'm kinda relieved now because I thought you were going to leave!! Not that I'm happy you feel this way, but you get it ;P

Anyways, I feel it's unnecessary for me to start telling you how much ily and that you're not gonna lose me/us blah blah blah cause I hope you know this is never gonna happen.

I didn't know the term social anxiety but reading this and knowing you a little deeper I was thinking you just get anxiety when you see a big ass message on failpop and stuff.. I've left messages un-answered for months and I'm sure as hell I love chatting :P What terrifies me is that you've felt this way in rl and that's something my brain won't get (like do you feel like you're not ready to respond to a friend in crisis, can't find the words to say or sometimes act like you don't care while you're only feeling awkward? I'm trying my ass here to understand how you're feeling). Anyway, for me all I want is to know that you're happy and healthy and fine, I DON'T need these extra messages lol, that's a bonus! And I want to know you're fine bc I'm scared as hell youre not exactly over the moon at this time of your life and I KNOW you want me to be happy too. Personally, I go to a psychologist for 2 years now for silly things in my personality that make me feel bad (like this imo) and has helped me so much let go of bad habits and ugly feelings I thought I couldn't reject!

YOUR BD IS HERE <3

Celine, first of all let me say that you're not a fraud! I've never had the greatest self-esteem/confidence but you, among the rest of the family as well, have ALWAYS told me how strong you think I am, how brave I am! Sure, I struggle to believe sometimes... but if all my friends see something in me, there has to be truth to it!

YOU ARE KIND. YOU ARE CARING. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE & FRIENDSHIP, NO MATTER WHAT ♥

I want to agree with others sentiments, it sounds like you may have some social anxiety, but it also honestly sounds a little like depression honey. I mean no disrespect, but please think about seeing a therapist! It has done wonders for me ♥

Okay, so I'm not gonna repeat what everyone said. BUT, there's something I gotta tell you Celine : I am pretty much like you concerning that topic. Explaining myself : you guys have probably noticed that I don't talk much nor comment much. I've always said that I'm not much of a talker or a chatty person. And I have to admit that I'm often lazy when it comes to commenting every pick. But it doesn't mean I don't care about you ! I really do, I just don't show it as much as some of you do. I don't think I'm being a bad friend (I hope no one thinks so, lol).
So, honestly don't put too much pressure on your back. That's nothing. You're not a bad friend, you're just a normal person with feelings and bad moments.
Contrary to the guys, I don't think you're suffering from social anxiety, but I could be wrong. I think that you just have to take time for yourself. Also try to find the source of the feeling, and stop stressing about that.
You explained us, now we know, and we're aware of the situation.

Take all the time and space you need, and know that we'll always be there for you <3