Music to Listen to while あなた Read:
* High and Low によって Greg Laswell (available at projectplaylist.com)
* Almost Lover によって A Fine Frenzy (available at projectplaylist.com)
* Hallelujah によって Jeff Buckley (available at projectplaylist.com)
* Have No Fear によって Bird York (available at projectplaylist.com )
*****************************************************************
Days passed and Amanda continued to notice Kyle's distant demeanor when he was spending time with her. They decided to eat lunch together outside the school at the quad.
"This is nice. The weather's great!" Amanda couldn't believe she'd resorted to small talk. But Kyle didn't respond. There was nothing but silence on his part. His gaze was aimed elsewhere. She followed his stare all the way to Jessi who was at a nearby table. She let out a sigh and became impatient, for she noticed this was becoming a habit.
"Kyle!" Amanda barked.
"Huh?" Kyle snapped out of his obsessive gaze.
"I'm here. Your girlfriend?!!? あなた think I haven't noticed that you've been staring at Jessi ALL the time??? あなた don't think that hurts me?" Amanda was done being patient. Done being reasonable.
"Amanda I'm just...concerned. We don't even know this guy." Kyle spoke those words not only in effort to convince Amanda of his intentions, but to convince himself as well. The need for the task made him uneasy.
"It's not because you're jealous?" Amanda asked rhetorically.
She was right on the nose, but Kyle rolled his eyes to cover up his exposure. He did not yet fully understand the reason behind the jealousy. His fear of discovering the truth behind it was crippling. He knew he wasn't ready to know - let alone talk about it. "Don't be rididulous." He muttered with his eyes lowered.
"You can't even look at me in the eye. Kyle are あなた sure y-"
"Will あなた just DROP it??!" Kyle spat out as his furious eyes finally met Amanda's. In that small moment, he loathed her for pushing him to go to a place he was not yet ready to visit.
Amanda just stared at Kyle, hurt and angry. She focused into his eyes with wrinkled lips and slightly squinted eyes.
Kyle quickly regretted his words. He was also hurt and angry, but not at Amanda - at himself and at his confusion about Jessi. "Amanda, I...I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Amanda blurted out in a matter of fact way, for she truly didn't mean it as she snapped her eyes away from Kyle's toward the ground. Kyle noticed the lack of ingenuity in her voice.
"Look, why don't we all go out this friday? That way I'll be able to get to know this guy." Kyle let out a sigh "...and that way everyone can be happy." Kyle began to wonder if he even believed what he was saying.
"Really?" Amanda 発言しました sarcastically. She wasn't convinced.
Kyle wouldn't give up the idea. "Really." He forced out a grin.
**********************************
Kyle later met Jessi at the Trager house and fed her the idea.
Jessi was thrown back and raised her brows. "Um, well, to be honest," Jessi was always slightly embarrassed about opening up to Kyle about anything, let alone her 愛 life. "...I'm not sure where Xander and I stand." Jessi paused to think. "So, I'll just tell him to come out with some friends." Jessi insisted.
Kyle didn't know why he was relieved to hear Jessi say that. He had not yet come to terms with his jealousy, and was mortified at the thought of confronting the problem.
"Just promise あなた won't say anything about a double date, ok?" Jessi's majestic eyes pleaded into Kyle's. He was the last person she wanted to talk to about Xander, but she put her embarrassment aside for his sake. She surprised herself, for she realized that in that moment, her sole purpose was to protect Xander.
"Sure." Kyle put up a tough front yet was relieved that Jander weren't dating. Still, Kyle worried that things could very well escalate between them soon.
****************************************
Friday night came. Kyle was near the front door folding his 襟, 首輪 down anxiously.
"You clean up nice." Jessi teased as she walked down the stairs in a white, low v-neck sleeveless wide strap dress, with pleated flares tickling her knees. Her hair was an angelic wavy, while her raindrop silver earrings mingled with her dark brown locks. Her diamond engrossed bracelet caught the light and shaun for attention as her ruby red heals percussioned against the stairs in response. Kyle was confused and terrified when Jessi's pace slowed. Every sound her shoes made became thicker, louder. His vision fuzzed at the site of her. The light around her intensified as she slowly made her way down the stairs. He feared he was hallucinating as his ハート, 心 beat faster. Her features danced with her stunning outfit - sparkle, percussion, crashing dark brown waves, wish wash tickling pleats, the symphony played on. Electric waves surged through Kyle until he was no longer able to contain them. He gasped in defeat as he released the erratic energy.
"What was that??" Jessi stopped stunned near the bottom of the stairs.
Kyle snapped out of his trance, shook it off, saw the lamp dripping embers, and knew what he'd done. "N-Nothing. Let's go. I can hear Amanda's heartbeat - she's coming. We should get going." Kyle did a poor job of concealing the desperation in his speech, but he successfully diverted Jessi's attention away from the evidence in the 次 room. Then, a car horn.
"And it looks like Xander's here." Jessi 発言しました in excitement.
"Fantastic." Kyle muttered sarcastically - Jessi noticed and shot him a confused look at the corner of her eye as they exited the house together.
*************************
The group arrived at Chez Rouge and were seated a large enough table. Amanda, Jessi, and Xander started up light conversation to break the ice.
"This place is beautiful." Amanda complimented.
Kyle examined his girlfriend. Her hair was in ringlets and her glossed lips caught the light. She wore a yellow sun dress with a ruffled 'C' line neck and shoulder length wavy sleeves. The hem tightened below Amanda's breasts and loosened into waves that reached down to her toes. Kyle thought her to be stunning, but there was no energy surge. He became angry in that moment, but successfully blinked it away with a silent sigh.
"Yeah, they had the chandeliers imported." Xander explained.
"Xander picked the place out himself." Jessi bragged on Xander's behalf. She wasn't afraid to let him know she was impressed. Xander smiled humbly with a sunken head. Jessi was pulled into his humility. Her eyes glued to him and he finally lifted his head to meet her gaze. Kyle noticed and his eyes narrowed. Amanda noticed, and to break the tension she engaged Jander into a conversation about how they met and how things quickly escalated. A distant Kyle couldn't help but stare quietly at Xander. He noticed how close he sat to Jessi.
Suddenly Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah played in the background.
"I 愛 this song!" Jessi exclaimed.
"I know." Kyle and Xander 発言しました grinning simultaneously. Awkward silence. The girls stared at the boys who stared at one another annoyed and wide eyed. Jessi chuckled awkwardly as Xander broke the staring contest first and found Jessi's eyes. He slide out of the booth gracefully and stood over Jessi with an extended hand and a loving grin.
"You wanna dance?" He recovered.
"Um, yeah." Jessi was hesitant, but trusted Xander with a smile.
Their eyes glued to one another as they walked toward the dance floor hand in hand. Their movements were graceful as Xander led Jessi through twirls, the sways and the dips. Jessi had been practicing ballroom dancing in her room should the occasion arise. She was relieved and proud of her cunning preparation. Yet she could not help but blush in humility as she basked at this unreal person who made her feel special; who made her feel free.
Kyle watched angrily with wide beaming eyes and tightened lips. "Does he have to suffocate her??" Kyle spat out.
Amanda sighed impatiently. "Would あなた like to dance?" She recovered with a last effort.
Silence. Kyle's eyes were glued to Jander.
"Kyle!" Amanda nearly yelled.
"What?" Kyle wasn't listening.
"Nothing. Never mind. あなた never listen to me anymore so why start now?" Amanda's eyes were filled with fury.
"Amanda." Kyle offered apologetically.
She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as she led her gaze to her glass cup. "Just...forget it. The song's already ending." A frustrated sigh. "It's all ending." Amanda mumbled.
Kyle didn't bother to try to decipher her cryptic words as he watched Jander returning to the table. They were glowing with elation.
"You guys looked amazing." Amanda began as Jander sat back down.
Jessi exhaled a toothy smile and stared at the table. "Thank-you." She blushed.
Awkward silence loomed as Kyle 発言しました nothing while he played with his food.
"So Kyle." Xander made an effort to include Kyle in the conversational pool. "Everyone's grilled me but you. あなた have any 質問 for me?" He forced a wide smile.
Kyle's eyes lasered into Xander's. "Gee, let me think." His tone was off.
"Kyle." Jessi warned. She knew something wasn't right.
"No, babe it's ok. Go ahead, Kyle, shoot." Xander decided to give Kyle a chance for Jessi's sake.
Kyle winced at Xander's words. His glare then suddenly found its way to Jessi. "Since when do あなた let anyone call あなた babe?" Kyle spat to Jessi.
"Kyle!" Amanda snapped.
Jessi sat embarrassed with her head pointing toward the 表, テーブル - fists clenched together on her lap. Xander put his hand around her caressing her far arm up and down for comfort. He didn't keep his eyes off of her.
Kyle took a small furious breath as he witnessed Xander's affection toward Jessi. "Sure, I have a 質問 for you. Do あなた make it a habit of walking down dark allies at night? If I didn't know any better I'd say あなた were looking for trouble."
Xander's eyes shot toward Kyle's in annoyance. He kept a graceful composure but he was losing patience.
Amanda sighed in shame for Kyle.
"Kyle, what are あなた doing??" Jessi's head snapped up in defense in a low, stern, slightly hoarse voice. "Xander, don't answer that." She reserved her soft voice for Xander.
"No I think he should - it's a legitimate question." Kyle responded smugly. His eyes were glued to Xander who wore a annoyed grin, shaking his head while he began playing with his 食 with his fork.
Jessi angrily responded "Xander あなた don't have to answer any of Kyle's stupid questions" as she struggled to stay composed.
The lights began to flicker as Kyle's anger began to well up. "You just can't...invite strange men into your life without consulting with me first!" The words did not come out as Kyle intended. He was paralyzed in his seat, bug eyed as his eyes trailed from Jessi to the table; utterly and undeniably exposed.
Amanda was as stunned as Jessi and her voice trembled: "Kyle-"
"Wait Amanda - it's ok." Jessi's tone slightly softened in a new found confidence. Kyle began to change in her eyes. He was no longer intimidatingly graceful and inspiring as he was when she first met him. He was merely a guy. A jerk.
Jessi let out a sharp impatient sigh as her frown bore into Kyle. "Kyle, I can hang out with whomever I please. Believe it または not, I do have good judgement now and I don't need your permission to be happy with someone else, got it?!?" Jessi commanded.
Xander looked at Jessi with wide eyes. He was elated that he made her happy. And despite the circumstances during her revelation, he was ecstatic to hear it.
In a last digit effort to gain a hand in his losing battle, Kyle stared Jessi down, but she would not be intimidated this time. He then shot Xander a look that could kill, darted up, and fled from the 表, テーブル - the damage was done. He was frustrated and furious, but also harbored unbearable shame for his behavior as he exited the restaurant. He hyperventilated with wide eyes, overwhelmed によって his emotions. What's wrong with me? He thought.
Amanda hesitantly stood up from the table, humiliated. She had no words. She grabbed her 財布 but couldn't bring herself to look at Jessi and Xander as she slowly made her way to the exiting doors. She scanned the dark for Kyle and soon spotted him from a distance. Kyle heard Amanda's heartbeat nearing him but refused to stop for her.
"KYLE!" Amanda roared as she quickened her steps in the cold. She was angry for his 最近 behavior and quickly became furious that he was refusing to acknowledge her.
She finally reached him and gripped his arm to whip him around. "What is WRONG with you???!!"
Kyle hysterically pointed his arm toward the restaurant. "He's not right for her!"
"Why is that up to you???" Amanda pleaded bewildered によって Kyle's obsessive attitude.
Kyle was silent. Amanda's grimace alone depicted the throbbing painful frustration she constantly felt with Kyle lately. She had nothing to say so she finally walked away angry and hurt once again. Kyle didn't have the ハート, 心 to go after her. He simply remained stationary outside in the cold standing alone, and confused.
The 次 morning, Kyle got ready for school and found himself wandering into Jessi's room in hopes of repairing the damage he caused the night before. Yet again, he found the room empty. Disappointment pricked him as he made his way to school alone. Utter shame loomed over his head as he crept the halls of school. He knew that his effort to keep Jessi close to him yesterday did nothing but push her further away. He didn't dare go near Jessi while she was with Xander. He was afraid of what else he might say. No. He wanted to wait until he could find her alone. He knew he would have to wait for hours, for Jessi and Xander shared classes all morning and would eat lunch together afterward.
Agonizing hours passed as Kyle sat restlessly through one class after another.
Finally. Kyle found Jessi in the quad slouched on a bench buried in some books. He had a speech planned as he approached her.
Jessi sensed him and raised her hard unwelcoming face toward his. Kyle's mouth opened nervously as he read Jessi's cold expression. His grimace shrunk and hardened in response. He suddenly ロスト the will to be humble and apologetic.
"I take it 'Xander' gave あなた a ride?" Kyle spat out sarcastically.
"Well hello to あなた too, Kyle." Thick with an impeccable sarcastic return.
Kyle's grimace finally broke into a shameful guarded apology. "Look, Jessi I'm s-..."
"Don't worry Kyle. No apologies. I'm over it. Just concentrate on your own life and I'll focus on mine." She stood up, paid Kyle another cold stare, and walked away.
"Jessi...." He called, but he knew she wasn't listening. Why do I keep pushing her away?
Kyle's fear continued to grow, as he watched Jessi drift further away from his reach.
He saw her meet up with Xander near the Quad, and began to notice that Jander were truly getting closer.
"Xander." Jessi was relieved at her ability to breathe again.
"Hey, there あなた are." Xander welcomed her with a warm smile.
"Look I know I already apologized about Kyle yesterday but-"
"Will あなた stop?" Xander laughed. "I'm not tumbleweed." His arm gravitated to her cheek. Her face went hot.
She struggled to clear her throat. "Um, tumbleweed?" She was too distracted によって Xander's hand on her face to decipher the metaphor. She felt her knees nearly buckle.
"I mean I'm not going anywhere." He grinned with his reassuring eyes. He wanted to protect her with all his heart. He pressed his lips to her forehead with great delay - he knew she needed it. He knew he liked it. Jessi couldn't help but smile, yet remained cautious and kept a small ウォール up just in case. She was however blanketed in a euphoria knowing that she had Xander - her unlimited 情報源 of oxygen.
Kyle couldn't help but helplessly listen in as he witnessed their growing affection for one another. Then a change in atmosphere. Oh no - Amanda.
She surprised him from behind as she reached for his shoulder and whipped him around to face her. "You forget that we were supposed to go to school together this morning?" Amanda nagged rhetorically. Kyle turned to face her.
"Or were あなた too busy staring at Jessi again to remember?" Amanda already knew the answer to her question. She was through being civil.
Kyle's eyes forced shut as he realized how slothful his mind had become. He finally met Amanda's eyes. "Amanda I totally-"
"Forgot! Yeah I gathered as much! What's the matter with you, Kyle? I can't rely on あなた like I used to. I don't even know who あなた are anymore..." Kyle sighed in shame and slight annoyance as Amanda went on to tell him things he already knew. He'd changed. He'd been absent. He was there, but not there. What else was new? He wanted to be alone in silence so he could continue to listen in on Jander's conversation. He felt guilty for his selfish desire - Amanda deserved better, but he was too miserably preoccupied with his obsession to rectify his redundant errors.
"I'm sorry." The apology wasn't entirely sincere as his eyes trailed back to Jessi and Xander.
"It's not good enough, Kyle. It's just not." Amanda's eyes welled up in tears but she wouldn't let them fall. Kyle didn't notice. Amanda finally left him to his daily ritual.
"Amanda." Kyle noticed her leave as his head whipped back her way. But he didn't go after her. He didn't want to.
もっと見る days passed - Kylanda continued to grow apart and Jander grew closer.
****End of Chapter****
* High and Low によって Greg Laswell (available at projectplaylist.com)
* Almost Lover によって A Fine Frenzy (available at projectplaylist.com)
* Hallelujah によって Jeff Buckley (available at projectplaylist.com)
* Have No Fear によって Bird York (available at projectplaylist.com )
*****************************************************************
Days passed and Amanda continued to notice Kyle's distant demeanor when he was spending time with her. They decided to eat lunch together outside the school at the quad.
"This is nice. The weather's great!" Amanda couldn't believe she'd resorted to small talk. But Kyle didn't respond. There was nothing but silence on his part. His gaze was aimed elsewhere. She followed his stare all the way to Jessi who was at a nearby table. She let out a sigh and became impatient, for she noticed this was becoming a habit.
"Kyle!" Amanda barked.
"Huh?" Kyle snapped out of his obsessive gaze.
"I'm here. Your girlfriend?!!? あなた think I haven't noticed that you've been staring at Jessi ALL the time??? あなた don't think that hurts me?" Amanda was done being patient. Done being reasonable.
"Amanda I'm just...concerned. We don't even know this guy." Kyle spoke those words not only in effort to convince Amanda of his intentions, but to convince himself as well. The need for the task made him uneasy.
"It's not because you're jealous?" Amanda asked rhetorically.
She was right on the nose, but Kyle rolled his eyes to cover up his exposure. He did not yet fully understand the reason behind the jealousy. His fear of discovering the truth behind it was crippling. He knew he wasn't ready to know - let alone talk about it. "Don't be rididulous." He muttered with his eyes lowered.
"You can't even look at me in the eye. Kyle are あなた sure y-"
"Will あなた just DROP it??!" Kyle spat out as his furious eyes finally met Amanda's. In that small moment, he loathed her for pushing him to go to a place he was not yet ready to visit.
Amanda just stared at Kyle, hurt and angry. She focused into his eyes with wrinkled lips and slightly squinted eyes.
Kyle quickly regretted his words. He was also hurt and angry, but not at Amanda - at himself and at his confusion about Jessi. "Amanda, I...I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Amanda blurted out in a matter of fact way, for she truly didn't mean it as she snapped her eyes away from Kyle's toward the ground. Kyle noticed the lack of ingenuity in her voice.
"Look, why don't we all go out this friday? That way I'll be able to get to know this guy." Kyle let out a sigh "...and that way everyone can be happy." Kyle began to wonder if he even believed what he was saying.
"Really?" Amanda 発言しました sarcastically. She wasn't convinced.
Kyle wouldn't give up the idea. "Really." He forced out a grin.
**********************************
Kyle later met Jessi at the Trager house and fed her the idea.
Jessi was thrown back and raised her brows. "Um, well, to be honest," Jessi was always slightly embarrassed about opening up to Kyle about anything, let alone her 愛 life. "...I'm not sure where Xander and I stand." Jessi paused to think. "So, I'll just tell him to come out with some friends." Jessi insisted.
Kyle didn't know why he was relieved to hear Jessi say that. He had not yet come to terms with his jealousy, and was mortified at the thought of confronting the problem.
"Just promise あなた won't say anything about a double date, ok?" Jessi's majestic eyes pleaded into Kyle's. He was the last person she wanted to talk to about Xander, but she put her embarrassment aside for his sake. She surprised herself, for she realized that in that moment, her sole purpose was to protect Xander.
"Sure." Kyle put up a tough front yet was relieved that Jander weren't dating. Still, Kyle worried that things could very well escalate between them soon.
****************************************
Friday night came. Kyle was near the front door folding his 襟, 首輪 down anxiously.
"You clean up nice." Jessi teased as she walked down the stairs in a white, low v-neck sleeveless wide strap dress, with pleated flares tickling her knees. Her hair was an angelic wavy, while her raindrop silver earrings mingled with her dark brown locks. Her diamond engrossed bracelet caught the light and shaun for attention as her ruby red heals percussioned against the stairs in response. Kyle was confused and terrified when Jessi's pace slowed. Every sound her shoes made became thicker, louder. His vision fuzzed at the site of her. The light around her intensified as she slowly made her way down the stairs. He feared he was hallucinating as his ハート, 心 beat faster. Her features danced with her stunning outfit - sparkle, percussion, crashing dark brown waves, wish wash tickling pleats, the symphony played on. Electric waves surged through Kyle until he was no longer able to contain them. He gasped in defeat as he released the erratic energy.
"What was that??" Jessi stopped stunned near the bottom of the stairs.
Kyle snapped out of his trance, shook it off, saw the lamp dripping embers, and knew what he'd done. "N-Nothing. Let's go. I can hear Amanda's heartbeat - she's coming. We should get going." Kyle did a poor job of concealing the desperation in his speech, but he successfully diverted Jessi's attention away from the evidence in the 次 room. Then, a car horn.
"And it looks like Xander's here." Jessi 発言しました in excitement.
"Fantastic." Kyle muttered sarcastically - Jessi noticed and shot him a confused look at the corner of her eye as they exited the house together.
*************************
The group arrived at Chez Rouge and were seated a large enough table. Amanda, Jessi, and Xander started up light conversation to break the ice.
"This place is beautiful." Amanda complimented.
Kyle examined his girlfriend. Her hair was in ringlets and her glossed lips caught the light. She wore a yellow sun dress with a ruffled 'C' line neck and shoulder length wavy sleeves. The hem tightened below Amanda's breasts and loosened into waves that reached down to her toes. Kyle thought her to be stunning, but there was no energy surge. He became angry in that moment, but successfully blinked it away with a silent sigh.
"Yeah, they had the chandeliers imported." Xander explained.
"Xander picked the place out himself." Jessi bragged on Xander's behalf. She wasn't afraid to let him know she was impressed. Xander smiled humbly with a sunken head. Jessi was pulled into his humility. Her eyes glued to him and he finally lifted his head to meet her gaze. Kyle noticed and his eyes narrowed. Amanda noticed, and to break the tension she engaged Jander into a conversation about how they met and how things quickly escalated. A distant Kyle couldn't help but stare quietly at Xander. He noticed how close he sat to Jessi.
Suddenly Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah played in the background.
"I 愛 this song!" Jessi exclaimed.
"I know." Kyle and Xander 発言しました grinning simultaneously. Awkward silence. The girls stared at the boys who stared at one another annoyed and wide eyed. Jessi chuckled awkwardly as Xander broke the staring contest first and found Jessi's eyes. He slide out of the booth gracefully and stood over Jessi with an extended hand and a loving grin.
"You wanna dance?" He recovered.
"Um, yeah." Jessi was hesitant, but trusted Xander with a smile.
Their eyes glued to one another as they walked toward the dance floor hand in hand. Their movements were graceful as Xander led Jessi through twirls, the sways and the dips. Jessi had been practicing ballroom dancing in her room should the occasion arise. She was relieved and proud of her cunning preparation. Yet she could not help but blush in humility as she basked at this unreal person who made her feel special; who made her feel free.
Kyle watched angrily with wide beaming eyes and tightened lips. "Does he have to suffocate her??" Kyle spat out.
Amanda sighed impatiently. "Would あなた like to dance?" She recovered with a last effort.
Silence. Kyle's eyes were glued to Jander.
"Kyle!" Amanda nearly yelled.
"What?" Kyle wasn't listening.
"Nothing. Never mind. あなた never listen to me anymore so why start now?" Amanda's eyes were filled with fury.
"Amanda." Kyle offered apologetically.
She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as she led her gaze to her glass cup. "Just...forget it. The song's already ending." A frustrated sigh. "It's all ending." Amanda mumbled.
Kyle didn't bother to try to decipher her cryptic words as he watched Jander returning to the table. They were glowing with elation.
"You guys looked amazing." Amanda began as Jander sat back down.
Jessi exhaled a toothy smile and stared at the table. "Thank-you." She blushed.
Awkward silence loomed as Kyle 発言しました nothing while he played with his food.
"So Kyle." Xander made an effort to include Kyle in the conversational pool. "Everyone's grilled me but you. あなた have any 質問 for me?" He forced a wide smile.
Kyle's eyes lasered into Xander's. "Gee, let me think." His tone was off.
"Kyle." Jessi warned. She knew something wasn't right.
"No, babe it's ok. Go ahead, Kyle, shoot." Xander decided to give Kyle a chance for Jessi's sake.
Kyle winced at Xander's words. His glare then suddenly found its way to Jessi. "Since when do あなた let anyone call あなた babe?" Kyle spat to Jessi.
"Kyle!" Amanda snapped.
Jessi sat embarrassed with her head pointing toward the 表, テーブル - fists clenched together on her lap. Xander put his hand around her caressing her far arm up and down for comfort. He didn't keep his eyes off of her.
Kyle took a small furious breath as he witnessed Xander's affection toward Jessi. "Sure, I have a 質問 for you. Do あなた make it a habit of walking down dark allies at night? If I didn't know any better I'd say あなた were looking for trouble."
Xander's eyes shot toward Kyle's in annoyance. He kept a graceful composure but he was losing patience.
Amanda sighed in shame for Kyle.
"Kyle, what are あなた doing??" Jessi's head snapped up in defense in a low, stern, slightly hoarse voice. "Xander, don't answer that." She reserved her soft voice for Xander.
"No I think he should - it's a legitimate question." Kyle responded smugly. His eyes were glued to Xander who wore a annoyed grin, shaking his head while he began playing with his 食 with his fork.
Jessi angrily responded "Xander あなた don't have to answer any of Kyle's stupid questions" as she struggled to stay composed.
The lights began to flicker as Kyle's anger began to well up. "You just can't...invite strange men into your life without consulting with me first!" The words did not come out as Kyle intended. He was paralyzed in his seat, bug eyed as his eyes trailed from Jessi to the table; utterly and undeniably exposed.
Amanda was as stunned as Jessi and her voice trembled: "Kyle-"
"Wait Amanda - it's ok." Jessi's tone slightly softened in a new found confidence. Kyle began to change in her eyes. He was no longer intimidatingly graceful and inspiring as he was when she first met him. He was merely a guy. A jerk.
Jessi let out a sharp impatient sigh as her frown bore into Kyle. "Kyle, I can hang out with whomever I please. Believe it または not, I do have good judgement now and I don't need your permission to be happy with someone else, got it?!?" Jessi commanded.
Xander looked at Jessi with wide eyes. He was elated that he made her happy. And despite the circumstances during her revelation, he was ecstatic to hear it.
In a last digit effort to gain a hand in his losing battle, Kyle stared Jessi down, but she would not be intimidated this time. He then shot Xander a look that could kill, darted up, and fled from the 表, テーブル - the damage was done. He was frustrated and furious, but also harbored unbearable shame for his behavior as he exited the restaurant. He hyperventilated with wide eyes, overwhelmed によって his emotions. What's wrong with me? He thought.
Amanda hesitantly stood up from the table, humiliated. She had no words. She grabbed her 財布 but couldn't bring herself to look at Jessi and Xander as she slowly made her way to the exiting doors. She scanned the dark for Kyle and soon spotted him from a distance. Kyle heard Amanda's heartbeat nearing him but refused to stop for her.
"KYLE!" Amanda roared as she quickened her steps in the cold. She was angry for his 最近 behavior and quickly became furious that he was refusing to acknowledge her.
She finally reached him and gripped his arm to whip him around. "What is WRONG with you???!!"
Kyle hysterically pointed his arm toward the restaurant. "He's not right for her!"
"Why is that up to you???" Amanda pleaded bewildered によって Kyle's obsessive attitude.
Kyle was silent. Amanda's grimace alone depicted the throbbing painful frustration she constantly felt with Kyle lately. She had nothing to say so she finally walked away angry and hurt once again. Kyle didn't have the ハート, 心 to go after her. He simply remained stationary outside in the cold standing alone, and confused.
The 次 morning, Kyle got ready for school and found himself wandering into Jessi's room in hopes of repairing the damage he caused the night before. Yet again, he found the room empty. Disappointment pricked him as he made his way to school alone. Utter shame loomed over his head as he crept the halls of school. He knew that his effort to keep Jessi close to him yesterday did nothing but push her further away. He didn't dare go near Jessi while she was with Xander. He was afraid of what else he might say. No. He wanted to wait until he could find her alone. He knew he would have to wait for hours, for Jessi and Xander shared classes all morning and would eat lunch together afterward.
Agonizing hours passed as Kyle sat restlessly through one class after another.
Finally. Kyle found Jessi in the quad slouched on a bench buried in some books. He had a speech planned as he approached her.
Jessi sensed him and raised her hard unwelcoming face toward his. Kyle's mouth opened nervously as he read Jessi's cold expression. His grimace shrunk and hardened in response. He suddenly ロスト the will to be humble and apologetic.
"I take it 'Xander' gave あなた a ride?" Kyle spat out sarcastically.
"Well hello to あなた too, Kyle." Thick with an impeccable sarcastic return.
Kyle's grimace finally broke into a shameful guarded apology. "Look, Jessi I'm s-..."
"Don't worry Kyle. No apologies. I'm over it. Just concentrate on your own life and I'll focus on mine." She stood up, paid Kyle another cold stare, and walked away.
"Jessi...." He called, but he knew she wasn't listening. Why do I keep pushing her away?
Kyle's fear continued to grow, as he watched Jessi drift further away from his reach.
He saw her meet up with Xander near the Quad, and began to notice that Jander were truly getting closer.
"Xander." Jessi was relieved at her ability to breathe again.
"Hey, there あなた are." Xander welcomed her with a warm smile.
"Look I know I already apologized about Kyle yesterday but-"
"Will あなた stop?" Xander laughed. "I'm not tumbleweed." His arm gravitated to her cheek. Her face went hot.
She struggled to clear her throat. "Um, tumbleweed?" She was too distracted によって Xander's hand on her face to decipher the metaphor. She felt her knees nearly buckle.
"I mean I'm not going anywhere." He grinned with his reassuring eyes. He wanted to protect her with all his heart. He pressed his lips to her forehead with great delay - he knew she needed it. He knew he liked it. Jessi couldn't help but smile, yet remained cautious and kept a small ウォール up just in case. She was however blanketed in a euphoria knowing that she had Xander - her unlimited 情報源 of oxygen.
Kyle couldn't help but helplessly listen in as he witnessed their growing affection for one another. Then a change in atmosphere. Oh no - Amanda.
She surprised him from behind as she reached for his shoulder and whipped him around to face her. "You forget that we were supposed to go to school together this morning?" Amanda nagged rhetorically. Kyle turned to face her.
"Or were あなた too busy staring at Jessi again to remember?" Amanda already knew the answer to her question. She was through being civil.
Kyle's eyes forced shut as he realized how slothful his mind had become. He finally met Amanda's eyes. "Amanda I totally-"
"Forgot! Yeah I gathered as much! What's the matter with you, Kyle? I can't rely on あなた like I used to. I don't even know who あなた are anymore..." Kyle sighed in shame and slight annoyance as Amanda went on to tell him things he already knew. He'd changed. He'd been absent. He was there, but not there. What else was new? He wanted to be alone in silence so he could continue to listen in on Jander's conversation. He felt guilty for his selfish desire - Amanda deserved better, but he was too miserably preoccupied with his obsession to rectify his redundant errors.
"I'm sorry." The apology wasn't entirely sincere as his eyes trailed back to Jessi and Xander.
"It's not good enough, Kyle. It's just not." Amanda's eyes welled up in tears but she wouldn't let them fall. Kyle didn't notice. Amanda finally left him to his daily ritual.
"Amanda." Kyle noticed her leave as his head whipped back her way. But he didn't go after her. He didn't want to.
もっと見る days passed - Kylanda continued to grow apart and Jander grew closer.
****End of Chapter****