JJ Club
登録する
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
posted by jasmine4121
Johnny wants to talk to his teacher, so he asks her if they can exchange a few words after class. She agrees.

Teacher: “Ok, Johnny, how may I help you?”
Johnny: “I believe I’m too smart to stay in this grade. I would like to be moved directly to high school, because it’s boring here.”

She agrees one もっと見る time and notifies the principal. The principal proposes a test to prove Johnny’s intelligence and knowledge. So it begins:

Principal: “Johnny, let’s see. What is 3 x 4?”
Johnny: “12!”
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Johnny: “36!”
Principal: “The capital of Japan?”
Johnny: “Tokio.”

And they continue taking this test for もっと見る than half an 時 – and Johnny makes no mistakes, his 回答 are perfect. The principal is satisfied, but the teacher jumps in and wants to add a few 質問 on her own. The principal agrees.

Teacher: “Ok, let’s try some general questions. Cow has four of them, but I have two. What am I talking about?”
Johnny: “Legs.”
Teacher: “Correct. What can we find in your pants, but not in mine?”
A principal is surprised and kind of embarrassed…
Johnny: “Pockets.”
Teacher: “Correct again! Where do women have the curliest hair?”
Johnny: “In Africa!”
Teacher: “What is soft but becomes hard in women’s hands?”
Johnny: “A nail polish!”
Teacher: “What do men and women in the middle of their legs?”
Johnny: “Knees!”
Teacher: “If あなた compare married and single women – married woman has a wider… what?”
Johnny: “A wider bed!”
Teacher: “Which part of my body is wet most of the time?”
Johnny: “Your tongue!”
Teacher: “What starts with the letter ‘t’ and names something, that men like to watch?”
Johnny: “A (skin) tan!”

The principal is left speechless, and he decides to end this test. He turns to the Johnny, and says: “I’m not sending あなた to high school, but directly to college. Even I would answer all of the 質問 wrong!”
added by jasmine4121
added by jasmine4121
posted by jasmine4121
A bunny goes to a ビーチ and lights a cigarette. Since he was a newbie smoker the effect was stronger than it usually is. So he was lying on a nearby rock and a goldfish came to check what’s wrong:

Goldfish: “Hey dude, are あなた OK?”
Bunny (slightly stoned) : “Yeah, man… Just a bit tired…”
Goldfish: “What are あなた doing?”
Bunny: “I got a pack of cigarettes and I lit one. It makes あなた kind of dizzy, but very relaxing.”
Goldfish: “Can I try?”
Bunny: “Of course! あなた just inhale big time, swim underwater for a while and then exhale.”

The goldfish does as told and meets a 鯨, クジラ during swimming – so he explains the whole thing to a 鯨, クジラ as well. A few moments later a 鯨, クジラ comes to a bunny and wakes him up, since he dosed off. The bunny wakes up, sees the 鯨, クジラ and screams his lungs out:

Bunny: “Goldfish, exhale, exhale!! “
posted by jasmine4121
Funny when things never change
Even when あなた say they will
But while your off s(rewing her
My life is standing still

あなた tell me that あなた 愛 me
When I go to leave
あなた tell me I'm your only one
And I let myself believe

I know that あなた are using me
But you'll never let me go
I know that あなた don't 愛 me
I know I'm just for show

I don't know If I can stand
To see あなた 愛 another girl
あなた know that あなた broke my ハート, 心
あなた know that your my world

But while your standing によって my side
I'll believe your lies forever
Cause everything seems so perfect
When we are together
added by jasmine4121