100: Being a complete jerk to people all the time will make them like you, and sometimes, they will also fall in 愛 with you.
99: Vicodin will cure all wounds.
98: It's NEVER Lupus.
97: あなた should know all about your sperm donors before utilizing their sperm. あなた don't want your kid to be beaten up, after all.
96: Get a good alarm system and guard dog if you're going to be admitted into a certain Doctor House's care.
95: If you're a nurse and looking for spicing up your sex life, get a job in oncology.
94: Why read 本 when あなた can learn everything from TV?
93. It's NEVER the first diagnosis.
92. If あなた play your フレンズ right, あなた can borrow 5 grand over a year.
91. There is no dignity in dying.
90. Ketamine is NOT a permanent cure for chronic leg pain.
89: Even if House doesn't want it, everyone around him wants to everything about him.
88. Everyone in the House universe has a sixth sense and can read people way too good.
87. It will never again be Wilson's disease, but it will be mentioned again.
86. If あなた suggest Vasculitis enough, you'll start to sound smart.
85. Everybody Lies
84. Every 分 House and Wilson refuse to 愛 one another, another 子犬 cries another tear.
83. They don't call it the White House because of its paint job
82. New innuendo for masturbation: "Finding Nemo"
81. Drugs don't make House high, they make him neutral.
80. House loved "Awakenings." It made him cry.
79. Sometimes, he wants to cry.
78. If あなた need to figure out your problems, poison your pet rat.
77. According to Wilson, you'd be surprised what あなた can live with.
76. Wilson met someone who made him feel...funny, good.
75. Wilson didn't want to let that feeling go
74. Stacy lives in Short Hills
73. Genius does have side effects.
72. Cortisol is a cure all.
71. Wilson is a helluva cook.
70. Sex can kill.
69. If あなた should screw up a self-inflicted circumcision, House will ensure good surgeons will put that twinkie back in its wrapper.
68. イヌ 愛 to eat vinyl records and Nike shox.
67. NEVER smoke マリファナ grown in soil supplemented によって moldy rye bread, parasite infested water, and pigeon feces.
66. EVERY living thing eats. Everything that eats, poops. That is why every living thing has a sanitation department.
65. あなた can't always get what あなた want
64. Watch out- cheese is the Devil's plaything.
63. House can be a jerk to people he hasn't slept with. He is that good.
62. Just because some one is attractive, in the House world, she is a whore.
61. There is a "me" in "team" (if あなた jumble it up...!).
60. Everybody should get an MRI.
59. When あなた think あなた have HIV, get high.
58. When someone is in the hospital, it is guaranteed that their house is empty and あなた can sneak in
57. If you're オレンジ and your wife doesn't notice, she's cheating on you.
56. House likes people who teach children that truth is good, and there is no God.
55. Once the クイーン is on your money, you're british
54. Personal lubricant is NOT located on the store shelf 次 to the 落花生, ピーナッツ バター
53. Exploding testicles hurt
52. Penis canes are murder
51. Use a cane. The vertical stripe is quite slimming.
50. Smugness is easier to maintain than great hair.
49. Never is just "reven" spelt backwards
48. Drooling might be a symptom of Chase wearing his short shorts
47. If your colleague thinks she has HIV, she might invite あなた over for sex under the influence...
46. LSD can be short circuited によって anti depressants
45. If あなた can't roll a joint, ask your oncologist for help
44. Don't piss House off
43. If あなた spend half a 年 trying to convince an ex that she should dump her husband for you, the 分 that she likes あなた back, あなた will lose interest.
42. Something bad is about to happen only if あなた hear dramatic music.
41. If your leg hurts, あなた miss Stacy.
40. The white board can't be used によって black people, that's why it is called "the whiteboard".
39. Wilson can't just keep asking his patients to wait because Cameron's boss won't let her come out and play.
38. You'll go into custody if あなた don't get on a plane with your checked-in bagage.
37. Carrying a radioactive "keychain" will give あなた a dose of poisoning equivalent to 70 THOUSAND x-rays. Will also give your best friend a rash.
36. When あなた order a ルーベン, ルベン for House, make sure there are NO pickles.
35. If あなた want a obstinate patient to take medicine, tell them it's the same one prescribed to "Republicans".
34. あなた and your daughter will never look like twins; get her the damn アイスクリーム cake for her birthday!!!
33. A 100 pound 5'5" woman is incapable of breaking the fall of a 400 pound man. So is tempered glass. But it's a helluva a way to win your boss's respect.
32. If あなた see a stethoscope hanging from House's door, he's having sex.
31. And it doesn't have to be with another person.
30. Whoever came up with Buprenorphine to wear off Vicodine should be shot the stabbed in the eye.
29. Life is a series of rooms.
28. Prednisone compromises the immune system.
27. Forcing someone to have a conversation with あなた is "raping them, in a non-invasive, もっと見る annoying than traumatic way."
26. If あなた get rid of a dog, it's becuase you're planning to dump your girlfriend.
25. House would do Wilson AFTER Cameron does Chase
24. Wilson's not on anti-depressants, he's on speeeeeed.
23. According to Wilson, House fell on his head when he was a child.
22. Chase hates Nuns.
21. House would consider low-rider jeans on Cameron both attention grabbing and "hot".
20. Having a criminal record and/or being hot are good ways of being hired によって House
19. If あなた have a cane あなた can get away with ANYTHING!
18. House is the only one allowed to play with the markers.
17. Chase has a weakness for bald 9 yr old girls.
16. If one of your team rats あなた out to a power hungry Board chairman don't 火災, 火 them... Torture is much もっと見る fun!
15. Canes are better than puppies!
14. Don't make Cuddy mad..... she'll take away your pills.
13. People used to have もっと見る respect for cripples あなた know.
12. They didn't really.
11. House hasn't been on a 日付 since Disco died.
10. According to House and Wilson, it's Bros before Hoes.
9. Flames on a cane makes House look like he's going faster.
8. Leather jackets make あなた warm *AND* cool. How do they know?
7. When the Inuit go fishing, they don't look for fish. (They look for the blue heron)
6. Overall, drug addicts are idiots
5. Asking a girl her "Dreams, Hopes, and Aspirations" is a DEFINITE panty-peeler!!!
4. If your boss takes away your parking space, throw a tantrum and spend a week in a wheelchair to make your point.
3. あなた can call Karl in book keeping "Kevin" because it's a secret friendship club name.
2. あなた can see 音楽 when tripping on LSD.
1. He is a mistanthropic, miserable, antisocial, sexist, bigoted, depressed, pill popping, motorcycle riding, selfish ass. But would あなた trust anyone else with your life?
Note: Copied from インターネット・ムービー・データベース（IMDb） forums!
99: Vicodin will cure all wounds.
98: It's NEVER Lupus.
97: あなた should know all about your sperm donors before utilizing their sperm. あなた don't want your kid to be beaten up, after all.
96: Get a good alarm system and guard dog if you're going to be admitted into a certain Doctor House's care.
95: If you're a nurse and looking for spicing up your sex life, get a job in oncology.
94: Why read 本 when あなた can learn everything from TV?
93. It's NEVER the first diagnosis.
92. If あなた play your フレンズ right, あなた can borrow 5 grand over a year.
91. There is no dignity in dying.
90. Ketamine is NOT a permanent cure for chronic leg pain.
89: Even if House doesn't want it, everyone around him wants to everything about him.
88. Everyone in the House universe has a sixth sense and can read people way too good.
87. It will never again be Wilson's disease, but it will be mentioned again.
86. If あなた suggest Vasculitis enough, you'll start to sound smart.
85. Everybody Lies
84. Every 分 House and Wilson refuse to 愛 one another, another 子犬 cries another tear.
83. They don't call it the White House because of its paint job
82. New innuendo for masturbation: "Finding Nemo"
81. Drugs don't make House high, they make him neutral.
80. House loved "Awakenings." It made him cry.
79. Sometimes, he wants to cry.
78. If あなた need to figure out your problems, poison your pet rat.
77. According to Wilson, you'd be surprised what あなた can live with.
76. Wilson met someone who made him feel...funny, good.
75. Wilson didn't want to let that feeling go
74. Stacy lives in Short Hills
73. Genius does have side effects.
72. Cortisol is a cure all.
71. Wilson is a helluva cook.
70. Sex can kill.
69. If あなた should screw up a self-inflicted circumcision, House will ensure good surgeons will put that twinkie back in its wrapper.
68. イヌ 愛 to eat vinyl records and Nike shox.
67. NEVER smoke マリファナ grown in soil supplemented によって moldy rye bread, parasite infested water, and pigeon feces.
66. EVERY living thing eats. Everything that eats, poops. That is why every living thing has a sanitation department.
65. あなた can't always get what あなた want
64. Watch out- cheese is the Devil's plaything.
63. House can be a jerk to people he hasn't slept with. He is that good.
62. Just because some one is attractive, in the House world, she is a whore.
61. There is a "me" in "team" (if あなた jumble it up...!).
60. Everybody should get an MRI.
59. When あなた think あなた have HIV, get high.
58. When someone is in the hospital, it is guaranteed that their house is empty and あなた can sneak in
57. If you're オレンジ and your wife doesn't notice, she's cheating on you.
56. House likes people who teach children that truth is good, and there is no God.
55. Once the クイーン is on your money, you're british
54. Personal lubricant is NOT located on the store shelf 次 to the 落花生, ピーナッツ バター
53. Exploding testicles hurt
52. Penis canes are murder
51. Use a cane. The vertical stripe is quite slimming.
50. Smugness is easier to maintain than great hair.
49. Never is just "reven" spelt backwards
48. Drooling might be a symptom of Chase wearing his short shorts
47. If your colleague thinks she has HIV, she might invite あなた over for sex under the influence...
46. LSD can be short circuited によって anti depressants
45. If あなた can't roll a joint, ask your oncologist for help
44. Don't piss House off
43. If あなた spend half a 年 trying to convince an ex that she should dump her husband for you, the 分 that she likes あなた back, あなた will lose interest.
42. Something bad is about to happen only if あなた hear dramatic music.
41. If your leg hurts, あなた miss Stacy.
40. The white board can't be used によって black people, that's why it is called "the whiteboard".
39. Wilson can't just keep asking his patients to wait because Cameron's boss won't let her come out and play.
38. You'll go into custody if あなた don't get on a plane with your checked-in bagage.
37. Carrying a radioactive "keychain" will give あなた a dose of poisoning equivalent to 70 THOUSAND x-rays. Will also give your best friend a rash.
36. When あなた order a ルーベン, ルベン for House, make sure there are NO pickles.
35. If あなた want a obstinate patient to take medicine, tell them it's the same one prescribed to "Republicans".
34. あなた and your daughter will never look like twins; get her the damn アイスクリーム cake for her birthday!!!
33. A 100 pound 5'5" woman is incapable of breaking the fall of a 400 pound man. So is tempered glass. But it's a helluva a way to win your boss's respect.
32. If あなた see a stethoscope hanging from House's door, he's having sex.
31. And it doesn't have to be with another person.
30. Whoever came up with Buprenorphine to wear off Vicodine should be shot the stabbed in the eye.
29. Life is a series of rooms.
28. Prednisone compromises the immune system.
27. Forcing someone to have a conversation with あなた is "raping them, in a non-invasive, もっと見る annoying than traumatic way."
26. If あなた get rid of a dog, it's becuase you're planning to dump your girlfriend.
25. House would do Wilson AFTER Cameron does Chase
24. Wilson's not on anti-depressants, he's on speeeeeed.
23. According to Wilson, House fell on his head when he was a child.
22. Chase hates Nuns.
21. House would consider low-rider jeans on Cameron both attention grabbing and "hot".
20. Having a criminal record and/or being hot are good ways of being hired によって House
19. If あなた have a cane あなた can get away with ANYTHING!
18. House is the only one allowed to play with the markers.
17. Chase has a weakness for bald 9 yr old girls.
16. If one of your team rats あなた out to a power hungry Board chairman don't 火災, 火 them... Torture is much もっと見る fun!
15. Canes are better than puppies!
14. Don't make Cuddy mad..... she'll take away your pills.
13. People used to have もっと見る respect for cripples あなた know.
12. They didn't really.
11. House hasn't been on a 日付 since Disco died.
10. According to House and Wilson, it's Bros before Hoes.
9. Flames on a cane makes House look like he's going faster.
8. Leather jackets make あなた warm *AND* cool. How do they know?
7. When the Inuit go fishing, they don't look for fish. (They look for the blue heron)
6. Overall, drug addicts are idiots
5. Asking a girl her "Dreams, Hopes, and Aspirations" is a DEFINITE panty-peeler!!!
4. If your boss takes away your parking space, throw a tantrum and spend a week in a wheelchair to make your point.
3. あなた can call Karl in book keeping "Kevin" because it's a secret friendship club name.
2. あなた can see 音楽 when tripping on LSD.
1. He is a mistanthropic, miserable, antisocial, sexist, bigoted, depressed, pill popping, motorcycle riding, selfish ass. But would あなた trust anyone else with your life?
Note: Copied from インターネット・ムービー・データベース（IMDb） forums!
![[T]hank [Y]ou [H]ouse...](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32600000/-T-hank-Y-ou-H-ouse-house-md-32601091-500-328.jpg)
