1. Offer him 落花生, ピーナッツ バター ファッジ that あなた cooked yourself, and tell him that あなた named it Cornelius ファッジ because it’s "nutty." Make sure it’s sticky and overdone.

2. Tell him that ライム green isn’t really his color, and that he’s really もっと見る of a winter.

3. Offer to take him to the mall to buy him some new clothes in different, もっと見る flattering colors.

4. Try to get him to 登録する a conga line with あなた and Voldemort and look very hurt if he refuses.

5. Tell him that "Scrimgeour always seemed like so much もっと見る of an authoritative figure."

6. Make up a theme song for him to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" and sing it wherever he goes.

7. Make up flyers containing the printed version of the theme song and hand it out to important Ministry officials.

8. Try to get him to 登録する S.P.E.W., because "elves are people too!"

9. Paint a scar on your forehead and hop around singing, "We were telling the truth! We were telling the truth!" in an annoying, high pitched voice.

10. Give his ボウラー hat to the giant squid. If he gets mad at you, tell him that あなた were just trying to 表示する your care for all species. Make sure to stare at him with big, 子犬 eyes.