Hullo my lovelies. My name is alexischaos2004 または Alexis. Today, I am going to review a fanfiction based off of Naruto, and it is pretty bad. I got the bits from the fanfic from another review on it. So, let's go!
"ARE あなた &&& KIDDING ME? I can't believe we && &$& $& &&&)(&# &$#&T&S two trips to the dentist!"
First, who says actual text symbols in a sentence? Nobody could actually say them. Next, please work on your grammar. I'm not really sure the world of NARUTO -ナルト- even has dentists. (It was written like this on the other review on this fanfic, so don't yell at me)
So I gave them my herd and told them to take it to the hills near Valley of The End, called Brokeback Mountain.
What? First, work on your spelling and grammar. Next, where in the hell was there ever a place called Brokeback Mountain? ...
kisame growled What went up his umbilicaly cord, he thought.
WHAT? あなた need to capitalize the first letter in the first word あなた use in a sentence! Damnit do あなた understand that?! Also, work on your spelling once again because umbilically is spelled wrong. There is no comma after the character thinks, it is just a run on.
Kisame skipped down the 丘, ヒル humming. "If I was an Oscar Meier Whinier."
Huh? When did Kisame ever get so happy like that? .___. Also, why do あなた even bother to get out of plot topic so easily? ジーザス christ.
"Itachi is now 24 years old. A little old for staring contests, don't あなた think?"
Can あなた please add もっと見る 説明 to why Itachi is too old for that activity? Thanks.
"Neji I know you're looking at my dick with your Byakugan, So come get some!"
Jeez I didn't know Neji was a pervert.
"Sasuke is scared of snakes."
Ya don't say?
"Kaka-hashi sensei!"
Please learn how to spell Kakashi, it's that simple actually.
"Naruto as あなた see us now we will not always be fore we will be leaving my grandson will take over this realm as we continue on."
Grammar exists for a reason, learn it. Please add periods because run-ons have mistakes in them which are very notice-able.
"The prophecy was never made the jinchkuriki looked at with a smile as 天使 to all Madara never lifted a finger."
Okay, is it me または does this sentence not make sense at all? あなた NEED TO OUT QUOTATION MARKS WHEN A CHARACTER SPEAKS DO あなた NOT KNOW THAT.
"His hair seemingly impersonating a duck's rear."
This doesn't make sense at all, not one bit of it does. Please add もっと見る 説明 to the sentences! WHO'S HAIR LOOKS LIKE A DUCK'S REAR? Please the world needs もっと見る to know than just that.
"That guy with the white eyes is so weird and freaky but DAMN Tenten is CUTE."
Yay Neji finally took a shot for the ladies. Fuck you, writer.
"And I sliced his fucking cockles."
Watch your word choice, son. Young childs may be 読書 that and some of them actually understand what the word "cockles" means because of the Internet.
"A long 尻, お尻 fucking time 前 in the village of Konoha."
A long time 前 this writer never understood grammar and description.
"Stop."
"SHINRA FUCKING TENSEI MOTHERFUCKER!"
"why"
Yea, stop. Have あなた ever heard of capitalization and grammar? Yeah, あなた don't.
"If I was a." はたけカカシ stopped to laugh loudly "If I was a cow I would eat every piece of 草 in the world."
Wow, はたけカカシ really was serious right there.
Alright, I'm gonna stop here for now. Part 2 of Episode 1 will be released when I have time to. So, yeah.
Okay, I'm editing here for part 2 :D. So, let's continue on.
Well now this story has Justin Bieber in it, makes no sense.
"Suddenly,Justin flicked his dick upwards. He dick was in great speed, and there was nothing he could do about it. He could not control his own power. The dick smashed against Justin and he died with everyone else.
Then, a nuclear bomb blew the world apart.
The end."
Okay everybody it is the end, what a short fanfiction. Okay, spelling error in "He" it is supposed to be "His." 秒 of all, how did Justin Bieber ever get into the NARUTO -ナルト- world? Time-traveling? BT Also, why is this inappropriate? Please stop using the word "dick" and "fuck" and stuff like that, it's pretty inappropriate, even if I'm a teen doesn't mean I can't be uncomfortable with 読書 words like that.
That's a pretty bad fanfiction, but it's not that bad. I'm pretty sure there's another fanfiction that's worse than this one BD
"ARE あなた &&& KIDDING ME? I can't believe we && &$& $& &&&)(&# &$#&T&S two trips to the dentist!"
First, who says actual text symbols in a sentence? Nobody could actually say them. Next, please work on your grammar. I'm not really sure the world of NARUTO -ナルト- even has dentists. (It was written like this on the other review on this fanfic, so don't yell at me)
So I gave them my herd and told them to take it to the hills near Valley of The End, called Brokeback Mountain.
What? First, work on your spelling and grammar. Next, where in the hell was there ever a place called Brokeback Mountain? ...
kisame growled What went up his umbilicaly cord, he thought.
WHAT? あなた need to capitalize the first letter in the first word あなた use in a sentence! Damnit do あなた understand that?! Also, work on your spelling once again because umbilically is spelled wrong. There is no comma after the character thinks, it is just a run on.
Kisame skipped down the 丘, ヒル humming. "If I was an Oscar Meier Whinier."
Huh? When did Kisame ever get so happy like that? .___. Also, why do あなた even bother to get out of plot topic so easily? ジーザス christ.
"Itachi is now 24 years old. A little old for staring contests, don't あなた think?"
Can あなた please add もっと見る 説明 to why Itachi is too old for that activity? Thanks.
"Neji I know you're looking at my dick with your Byakugan, So come get some!"
Jeez I didn't know Neji was a pervert.
"Sasuke is scared of snakes."
Ya don't say?
"Kaka-hashi sensei!"
Please learn how to spell Kakashi, it's that simple actually.
"Naruto as あなた see us now we will not always be fore we will be leaving my grandson will take over this realm as we continue on."
Grammar exists for a reason, learn it. Please add periods because run-ons have mistakes in them which are very notice-able.
"The prophecy was never made the jinchkuriki looked at with a smile as 天使 to all Madara never lifted a finger."
Okay, is it me または does this sentence not make sense at all? あなた NEED TO OUT QUOTATION MARKS WHEN A CHARACTER SPEAKS DO あなた NOT KNOW THAT.
"His hair seemingly impersonating a duck's rear."
This doesn't make sense at all, not one bit of it does. Please add もっと見る 説明 to the sentences! WHO'S HAIR LOOKS LIKE A DUCK'S REAR? Please the world needs もっと見る to know than just that.
"That guy with the white eyes is so weird and freaky but DAMN Tenten is CUTE."
Yay Neji finally took a shot for the ladies. Fuck you, writer.
"And I sliced his fucking cockles."
Watch your word choice, son. Young childs may be 読書 that and some of them actually understand what the word "cockles" means because of the Internet.
"A long 尻, お尻 fucking time 前 in the village of Konoha."
A long time 前 this writer never understood grammar and description.
"Stop."
"SHINRA FUCKING TENSEI MOTHERFUCKER!"
"why"
Yea, stop. Have あなた ever heard of capitalization and grammar? Yeah, あなた don't.
"If I was a." はたけカカシ stopped to laugh loudly "If I was a cow I would eat every piece of 草 in the world."
Wow, はたけカカシ really was serious right there.
Alright, I'm gonna stop here for now. Part 2 of Episode 1 will be released when I have time to. So, yeah.
Okay, I'm editing here for part 2 :D. So, let's continue on.
Well now this story has Justin Bieber in it, makes no sense.
"Suddenly,Justin flicked his dick upwards. He dick was in great speed, and there was nothing he could do about it. He could not control his own power. The dick smashed against Justin and he died with everyone else.
Then, a nuclear bomb blew the world apart.
The end."
Okay everybody it is the end, what a short fanfiction. Okay, spelling error in "He" it is supposed to be "His." 秒 of all, how did Justin Bieber ever get into the NARUTO -ナルト- world? Time-traveling? BT Also, why is this inappropriate? Please stop using the word "dick" and "fuck" and stuff like that, it's pretty inappropriate, even if I'm a teen doesn't mean I can't be uncomfortable with 読書 words like that.
That's a pretty bad fanfiction, but it's not that bad. I'm pretty sure there's another fanfiction that's worse than this one BD