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Been seeing it about four months now, and it's the most "quotable" series EVER...

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#1:
(live audience scene):
Peele: What I often do.. I take note of things my girl dose wrong, and call her on it at the right times.
Key: (pretending to be the girl) Jordon, why'd あなた leave the toilet シート, 座席 up?
Peele: 雌犬 WHY WAS あなた LATE LAST NIGHT, AND I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING!?


#2:
(live audience scene):
Girl in audience: (laughing too hard)
Key: Ma'am... Breath.


#3:
Key: (texting angrily) do あなた even WANT to hang out!?
Peele: (texting calmly) Like I 発言しました whatever.
Key: (reading text) Like I 発言しました whatever!?.. FUCK THIS GUY!!


#4:
Peele: (as girl character) あなた are LITERARY an asshole!
Key: I can't be LITERARY an asshole! I have legs, and a body!


#5:
(to live audience)
Key: In movies.. In every group of 3 white friends, they always has to be the "black best friend".
Peele: Yes, and the lines are always the same.. (names several lines I forget what they are).
Key: There's also..
Both: Oh Hell's no!..
Peele: Yes, and they always say the moral at the end.. "Guess あなた learned the true meaning of (insert here)"
Key: Come on guys... Not "every" black dude is "wise" and "reasonable".


#6:
(to live audience)
Key: I heard a line によって Mel Gibson.. He 発言しました "I hope あなた get rapped によって a pack of niggers!"... a PACK!?
Peele: Yes. He is the most racist man in the world.
Key: If he 発言しました a pack of.. African americans... It is NOT better..


#7:
Peele: (telling joke) So there's this girl.
Key: uh huh?
Peele: and she goes to her doctor.
Key: (giggles).
Peele: And asks him.. Will あなた have キッス with me?
Key: (bursts into laughter).
Peele: No.. That wasn't the joke.. It was just the build up.
Key: (laughs even harder).
Peele: (trying to shout over Keagan's laughter) She asks that.. And he says, no that would be unprofessional.
Key: Unprofessional. HAWHAWHAWHAW!!
Peele: Still not the パンチ line.
Key: (laughing anyway).
Peele: (over the laughter) SHE ASKS HIM AGAIN.. HE SAYS.. I SUDDEN'T EVEN HAVE SEX WITH あなた WAIT NOW.
Key: (falls silent, despite this having been the パンチ line)... Then what?
Peele: Guess.. She sues him.
Key: (laughs loudly).


#8:
Killer: I will cover あなた in gasoline and set あなた on FIRE!!
Peele: Funny あなた should say that.. I'm getting pretty cold in here.


#9:
(the duo wake up in the SAW bathroom).
Key: ... Not so bad.
Peele: Yes, it's all about prospective, at least I'm alive.
Key: Yeah, there's sort of a positive in having no opinions, we know we won't escape so we won't even try.
Peele: Plus.. All this time away from my phone.. My lap top.. I feel unplugged..
Key: And あなた know what else.. (his arm is cut off) Don't miss the arm... I'm a lefty anyway.


#10:
(to live audience).
Key: We black people, avoid ANYTHING supernatural.
Peele: (pretending to be a magician) Pick a card.
Key: OH HELL'S NO! あなた A DEMON! (walks off),


#11:
Peele: I 発言しました biiiiiiiiitch!


#12:
Peele: FUCK STEVE!
Key: あなた WILL FUCK STEVE'S DICK IF HE ASKS あなた TOO! あなた WILL SUCK HIS FUCKIN DICK! HE IS OUR パン AND バター あなた MOTHER FUCKER!.. I AM HIGH ON COCAINE!
Peele: I'M A FUCKIN ACTOR!.. I DID もっと見る COCAINE THAN あなた WEITH MOTHERFUCKER!!


#13:
Key: (as news reporter) This just in.. Little baby susie is still missing.. Help us lo- What's that? They found her? She's fine? Well FUCK ME!! (throws something in anger).


#14:
Key: (as detective) We KNOW あなた killed her.. あなた have a song about it.
Peele: (as rapper) ... It's just words man.
Key: (as detective) The NAME of the album! Is "I killed (the victims name)!".. And look at the cover.. It's あなた standing over her body, holding the gun we found at the scene!


#15:
key: (as idiot guard) BREAKING HIM OUT HERE!
Peele: (prisoner) Don't shout.. (sarcastically) may as well pull the alarm.
Key: Good idea.. (pulls the alarm).


#16:
Key:: Roommate meeting... Roommate meeting!
Peele: Gogo, what the hell? I've got a hangover!
Key: I don't give a fuck about your hangover, okay Brendan? I want a roommate meeting, and I want it now! Okay... Now, somebody's been taking shit out of the refrigerator and throwing it on the ground, and it's pissing me off.
Guy: Is this another one of your stupid pranks, Jonald?
Jonald: No.. And YOUR pranks are stupid.
Is it you, Monday?
Monday: What?
Jonald: (scary ghost behind them) I said, somebody's been taking shit out of the fridge and throwing it on the fuckin ground! And I want to know who it is, because it's not funny!
Key: (the ghost behind is closer) Well, what I want to know is, who keeps pulling the sheets off my ベッド and hanging them from the ceiling ファン at night? Was that you, Monday?
Monday: What?
Key: (ghost is closer) Have あなた been taking everybody's sheets off them in the night and hanging them from the ceiling fans?
Monday: What? No.
Key: (ghost is closer) Well, clearly, someone's been doing that! (glass shatters obviously from the ghost they aren't aware of) Whoa! Who did that? Peele: (the ghost is still behind them) Yeah! who the fuck just did that!? Which one of あなた just threw that bottle?
Guy: What are we even talking about right now? Key: Did あなた fucking throw that bottle, Jonald? Jonald: No, Gogo! fuck you! I didn't throw it!
Key: Well, did あなた fucking throw that bottle, Brendon?
Jonald: Yeah! あなた WOULD do that, Brendon.
Peele: Dude, no! I didn't throw the bottle!
Key: (ghost is inches away from them) Well, somebody threw that fucking bottle, and you're the one who drew dicks on everyone's forehead!
Guy: Yeah, あなた did do that!
Peele: (ghost is touching him) But dicks are hilarious, though!
Guy: This is just destructive! What about you, Monday? Did あなた throw that bottle?
Ghost: (low growl).
Monday: What bottle?
Key: The fuckiing bottle, dude! It just smashed against the wall, and あなた even 発言しました some shit about it!
Monday: Well, I didn't throw a bottle.
Key: Well, obviously, it wasn't Ping. He's got the best grades in the house.
Possesed guy: (hisses)
Key: Good point, Ping.


#17:
Killer: Hey.. あなた ladies want to see Channing Tatum?
Key and Peele: (dressed as girls). OH MY GOD! (they crawl in the van),
Peele: Where are あなた Channing?
Key: (happily) Is that a hawksaw?


#18:
Key: IT'S GONNA BE A FUCKIN 通り, ストリート FIGHT!!


#19:
Peele: あなた WILL RESPECT ME! あなた LITTLE SHIT!!


#20:
Both: We put the pussy of the train wails!!
 Carnotaurus
Carnotaurus
#1: CARTAURUS - DIANOSOURS:
When あなた think about it.
Being meat eaters doesn't make them ACTUALLY evil.
It just means they are trying to survive.
They have no real malicious intent.
They just care about feeding themselves and only 表示する respect for themselves and no one else. However, the two in the movie might be a mated pair または just relatives, they have a very strong bond and the surviving one shows a powerful grudge against Aladar, trying to drag him over a cliff even when it was obvious the Carnotaurus would die, after the other one was crushed によって rocks Aladar's フレンズ caused to fall on it.....
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added by Dreamtime
added by Canada24
added by Canada24
This episode has always been one of my personal favourite.. It's all one long battle sequence when as Hellsing Manner is attacked によって Jan and Luke Valentine.

Jan, I still like him. But ones opinion of him can be very mixed.. He is a sense of comic relief.. But he is also a sense of disturbance.. Because he gives no fuck if he lives または dies, long as he gets too "kill and drink blood".

 Jan
Jan


But this brings a difference between the two brothers.. Jan seems perfectly aware that this is s sucide mission, and is fine with this when.. But Luke dose NOT seem too realize this.. Especially because...
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added by Canada24
added by Canada24
added by Seanthehedgehog
added by Canada24
added by Dreamtime
added by Canada24
added by Dreamtime
added by Dreamtime
#1:
POST: I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!
ME: Don't worry little lady. If your the kids first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay または a serial killer..


#2:
POST: I'm bored.. Somebody fuck be.
ME: I would, but あなた might cough on me, and I might catch your stupid.


#3:
POST: How do Christians reproduce, if they think sex is a sin, how do they have babies!?
ME: No, no, your mistaking Christians for temblr feminists., they consider あなた a rapist for "having a penis"


#4:
POST: Who trying to get me pregnant?...
continue reading...
#1: LIAM NEESON:
I know.. Liam is a cliche, he's tired of it.
He's always saving people in a very similar formula.
But.. He's still LIAM NEESON.
This guy can read a book too children, and it would be the coolest sight ever..


#2: MARK WAHLBERG:
The Happening.. Oh the Happening.. あなた really must of been fucking AWFUL if your able too get a bad performance out of Marky-Mark Wahlberg..
I actually like him もっと見る in 映画 like TED.. Mark has a certain charm that he brings into the performance..
But hey, watch SHOOTER and LONG SURVIVER to see him kicking ass. He doesn't really have any real TypeCast.....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor